Mom and stepfather force 16-year-old daughter to pay $450 per month in rent despite 18-year-old sister living rent free: 'Because she never worked'

Author image for JR Atkinson
JR Atkinson • Writer and Editor
Feb 15, 2025 3:00 PM EST

When you're a teenager, you feel like an adult. I remember thinking, "I don't know how I could possibly be any more grown up than I am now," when I was 15 years old. And in a way, I was right. It was the oldest I had ever been up until that point, so how could I imagine how I would feel when I got older? We want to be treated like adults so badly until we become adults. Then we wished we could be teenagers again. Back when we didn't have jobs, did fun after-school activities, and felt feelings in technicolor. Life can be cruel that way. 

Given how quickly we want to grow up, it's our parent's job to keep us from doing it too quickly. It's good to teach about responsibility at a young age, most definitely, but there's a difference between teaching responsibility and shoving your own responsibility onto your own child. 

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    Cheezburger Image 10467452416
    via Unsplash+ (Getty Images)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • That's what happened in this situation, though, when parents saw an opportunity when their 16-year-old started earning some money on her own. What they asked her to chip in sounded reasonable to some, but didn't sit right with the child. Read on for the details and see what you think about this parenting decision. 

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    AITA for refusing to pay rent?

    Throwaway because my social medial accounts are heavily monitored. For some backstory, my mother married my stepfather when I was only 3. My biological father was never in the picture, so I have always
    via u/Icy-Solution-401
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    considered him to be my biological father. He always treated me fairly, however I never got the same treatment as his biological children. I understand it though, we never had a bl d bound relationship. He would sometimes take me out for dinner with him and his daughters, but that was the extent of our relationship besides family events.
    via u/Icy-Solution-401
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    Recently, I (16f) got a job, it's only part time, but it allows me to get out of the house more. I've been working for over a month now, and my mother and father sat me down today for a conversation. My father started with, 'We want you to understand the responsibilities of becoming an adult, so we are enforcing a new rule.' I
    via u/Icy-Solution-401
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    thought it would be the similar to the ones we. Some rules we have are that I have to pay for everything now that I have a job, which totals up to about 340 dollars a month. That includes paying for my 3 cats (they are SUPER picky with their food), my phone bills, car insurance, any food I want from the store, and monthly supplies. I don't mind paying for these items, some of them were my idea in the first place.
    via u/Icy-Solution-401
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    Anyway, my father stated he wanted me to begin to pay him 450 dollars a month for rent. He backed up his statement by saying this would help me to become responsible with my spending habits, because in his words, I spend too much money. My mother agreed with him, stating that
    via u/Icy-Solution-401
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    if I wanted to continue all the luxury I had in the household I would need to pay rent. I was appalled to say the least, I never thought I would have to pay rent, especially if it's over half my paycheck. For a while I stared at them confused, but then I began to ask questions, to which they repeated the same thing said above. I told them my sister (18) never had to pay rent, and she still lives here.
    via u/Icy-Solution-401
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    My father just replied, "Because she never worked." At this point, I was getting frustrated, so I went up to my room. My mother followed me up the stairs, trying to comfort me by saying that this will help me grow as a person and become a responsible adult. My mother is one of those people who can't tell others no and tries to become the victim in every situation. I told her I won't be paying rent and that she shouldn't require me pay anything. She tried to guilt me into paying, but I told her t
    via u/Icy-Solution-401
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    I texted me friend about the whole situation and she told me tos kit up and listen to my father because he is the main provider for the family and my father at the end of the day. I don't think I was in the wrong, but others might disagree. AITA?
    via u/Icy-Solution-401
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    Cheezburger Image 10467452672
    via Unsplash+ (Getty Images)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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    Commenters offered advice on how this 16-year-old should go about dealing with her parents.

    MedicinalWalnuts . 4h ago NTA. Quit the job. Enjoy the same rights and privileges that your older sister did. Then, get out of the house and away from the leeches as soon as you can.
    via u/MedicinalWalnuts
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    • Just-Daisyy 4h ago NTA, that's a lot to ask for someone who's just started working a part-time job. I get that they want to teach you responsibility, but charging over half your paycheck for rent when you're 16 is wild. Your sister doesn't even have to pay
    via u/Just-Daisyy
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    rent? That's a little sus tbh. It sounds like they're using you as a money-making opportunity, and if they want you to "grow," they could teach you financial responsibility without taking advantage of your paycheck. If they want rent money, they can wait until you're actually an adult with a full-time job.
    via u/Just-Daisyy
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    Oops MyBad21 • 4h ago NTA you are a minor they cannot force you to pay rent but I'm not too sure how you'd get around all of this in their house. Me personally I'd have either 1. quit the job and removed the problem (but idk your reasons for getting the job) or 2. telling them to their face it's their legal
    via u/OopsMyBad21
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    obligation to care for me and I won't be paying rent (which well in my family I probably would've got hit for saying but once again idk what your families like and I want you to be safe!). I will say this man, your stepdad, you already said he doesn't view you
    via u/OopsMyBad21
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    as his kid so idk why your mom, friends, and others are making it seem like he's you dad and gets to make rules for you. Is there anyone in the family you can bring this up with like aunts uncles grandparents etc...?
    via u/OopsMyBad21
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    Witty-Stock-4913 . 4h ago NTA, and find a way to hide your money. Also, talk to your counselor or social worker at school and let them know you're worried you're at risk of getting kicked out or losing access to food. Then save every penny. This man will boot you the day you turn 18.
    via u/Witty-Stock-4913
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    zgrssd 4h ago NTA And it sounds toxic. In fact they are required by law to house you until you are considered a full adult. Free of charge. They can try to throw you out, but then quickly get slapped with child
    via u/zgrssd
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    abandonment. Probably the only reason they don't have to pay you child support right now is because they are housing and feeding you for free. I guess lessons to learn here is that you can't rely on them as a family. He sees you as an obligation/resource to Exploit.
    via u/zgrssd
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    And she won't defend you. If you are going to pay rent, chances are you are better off moving out anyway. Do make such decisions carefully, however. As you can't rely on this part of the family for support.
    via u/zgrssd
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    DastardlyCreepy • 4h ago NTA tell them you wont allow them to break the law so f off. They have to pay for everything until at least 18. Until that time I'll save every penny so I can leave this hellhole. Or I can quit my job and you can pay for everything forever.
    via u/DastardlyCreepy
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    They've made it clear that they hate you and you need to make arrangements to get out at 18. I'd tell my mum good to know you've never loved me.
    via u/DastardlyCreepy
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    firewifegirlmom0124 • 4h ago NTA - you are 16. Legally they have to house you and are not allowed to charge you rent. WTH???
    via u/firewifegirlmom0124
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    Accomplished-Newt-95 4h ago If you are in the US, you are still a minor, they need to provide housing to you. This is greed, simply stated. You should be saving your money for your future and focus on school, activities and work. This is teaching you resentment. Keep resisting and refusing to pay. Ask your mother why isn't she advocating for your rights? Are they in financial danger of losing your home?
    via u/Accomplished-Newt-95
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    ADDisme317 4h ago Parents making their kids pay rent is a universal a h le move. It would be different if OP was an adult who had already been on her own. But she's a minor and the rules are not evenly applied. She has already stated she works for her things - which seems responsible enough. Parents are the real AH in this situation.
    via u/ADDisme317
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    • Spare_Ad5009 3h ago NTA. Are they going to pay for your college or training? If so, remain polite, but tell them your grades are going down from your job, so you quit.
    via u/Spare_Ad5009
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    If they protest, tell them you will speak to the guidance counselors for advice and add, "I'm just worried because they are mandatory reporters." If they demand to know what you mean, say, "You know, child ab e; child abandonment, demanding rent from your minor child." Make sure you start getting better grades to prove your point.
    via u/Spare_Ad5009

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