Woman cancels her 'Galentine's Day' plans with friends so she could go on a date with girlfriend instead, friends take offense, insisting she ditches her girlfriend: 'They're making me feel guilty'

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  • "AITAH for asking my girlfriend to cancel her 'Galentine's' dinner party?"

    I (20f) have been with my girlfriend (20f) for almost 4. years. We got together back in high school and are now both in college in the same city, so we live together.
  • When she started college she met a group of 5 girls who she became friends with. Over the past year and a half I've seen them many times and got to know them, and they're nice people. Since they're all
  • single, they decided to throw a 'Galentine's' dinner. For those who don't know, it's like a Valentine's Day themed dinner party with your friends, a lot of people have been doing it on TikTok. So my girlfriend was
  • invited to that and at first she said yes because it was supposed to be on Saturday, but they ended up moving it to Friday. For context, since we've been together my girlfriend
  • and I take turns planning Valentine's Day, and this year it was my turn to plan it. I don't want to reveal too much in case my girlfriend sees this post but I had made dinner plans. So when
  • she told me the dinner was moved to Friday I asked her if it could be moved to another day, maybe the next Friday, because I had already made reservations. She asked her friends who said
  • that it had to be on Friday because otherwise "the Valentine's Day vibes weren't there". I asked my girlfriend if she'd mind skipping the dinner for this time and she agreed so she told her
  • friends that she wouldn't be able to be there. The problem is, her friends. don't understand why she cancelled and started getting upset at me. They
  • are trying to convince her to go to the dinner party instead of what I have planned, and are saying that I'm controlling and don't let her see her friends. She has
  • tried to explain that it was normal for her to spend Valentine's Day with her girlfriend because that's what the day is about but they're basically telling her
  • to ditch me because I'm "a jealous, manipulative, control freak". I don't really feel like I'm in the wrong here, but they're starting to make me feel
  • guilty about it. I did technically ask her to cancel but I never forced her or anything and I'm pretty sure she would've cancelled on her own anyway. I can understand how this is seen
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  • as controlling but I also don't know if I was being unreasonable or not. It seemed like a normal thing to ask to me. I also should say that I've always kind of felt like her
  • friends don't take our relationship seriously. I don't want to make this post too long but I have a few examples of them just disregarding our
  • relationship, if anyone wants to know. I don't know if it's because they're all single, or because we're both women, but I've had that feeling for a while so maybe that has to
  • do with it. Please tell me if I'm in the wrong here I really need another perspective. Edit: I just really want to insist on the fact that I am a woman. People are talking about gender roles and assume that I'm a guy but I'm not!!
  • Creepy-Stable-6192 NTA. Sounds like your girlfriend's friends are the ones trying to control her. You are not being unreasonable.
  • I'm assuming they dont have boyfriends, and that's why you are being accused of being controlling when you want to spend a valentines day you already planned with the person you planned to have it with. Tell them to take their jealousy and shove it.
  • ExtremeJujoo I don't know, call me crazy, a kookoo, old fashioned, n. tyfoofoo, but...don't most people usually spend Valentine's day with their significant other??
  • IPepSal NTA. You did not ask her to cancel her plans, it was her friends who tried to make her cancel the plans you two already had.
  • DodgerGreen89 NTA. Going on a date with your girlfriend, who also wants to go on the date, is not controlling. Her friends are controlling and you're right, they don't take your relationship seriously.

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