Theatergoer kicks off shoes while seated at a play, friend calls them out, sparking a months-long argument: 'There's a dress code to live up to'

Author image for JR Atkinson
JR Atkinson • Writer and Editor
Feb 16, 2025 3:00 PM EST

I'm all for keeping your shoes off. There are people in my family who will wear their shoes in the house all day until they get ready for bed. I can't understand that kind of madness. Don't your feet ache to be free from the constraints of your shoes? Don't you yearn to feel the hardwood against your soles? Don't you feel vaguely unsettled- like you're either coming or going- when you have shoes on in the house? I don't get it. My friends and I take our shoes off immediately. No further questions. 

There are certain instances, though, when shoes should probably be kept on. Especially if you're prone to feet smell (which even the cleanest among us are). There was a kid at my university who would go around barefoot in the cafeteria. That feels… wrong to me. I never smelled them, but there was something unsettling about it. But I suppose this is another grey area of shoelessness, like the one in this story. 

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  • 01
    Cheezburger Image 10468024832
    via Unsplash+ (Curated Lifestyle)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • When a theatergoer took off their shoes for a performance of Rent, commenters were split on whether or not this was appropriate behavior. Their friend thought definitely not and told them so in the moment. What they didn't know, though, is that it would spark beef that would last way longer than they could have known. Read on for the story and see what you think.

  • 02

    AITA for telling my friend taking their shoes off was inappropriate?

    So, my friend and I went to the theatre. Not the Cinema, not the movies. AN ACTUAL THEATRE PLAY. (Saw Rent!)
    via u/DoingTheBestICan101
  • 03
    We got all dressed up to the 10s and they decided to wear 5 inch platform boots. Not the comfiest shoes, but where we would be sitting down for most of the time, I didn't think it would be too uncomfortable.
    via u/DoingTheBestICan101
  • 04
    And once seated, they start taking off their shoes. I stopped them and asked what they were doing. They said they were just gonna take off their shoes.
    via u/DoingTheBestICan101
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    I told them no, that it was NOT the place to do that. We are sitting down to see a play, there's a dress code to live up to. They got upset but kept their shoes on.
    via u/DoingTheBestICan101
  • 06
    Once we got back to their place, they started fighting with me about me not letting them take off their shoes. They said it wasn't inappropriate, they were just getting comfortable. We fought about it on and off for months. They just don't get my side of it and think they are right, and I shouldn't have said anything.
    via u/DoingTheBestICan101
  • 07

    Some commenters agreed with the friend's actions, condemning this kind of theatre behavior.

    Existence Raisin 13h ago NTA. It's ride and inappropriate to take your shoes off in a theatre, especially when there's a dress code. If they wanted to be comfortable, they shouldn't have worn uncomfortable platform boots
    via u/ExistenceRaisin
  • 08
    AddressPowerful5... 13h ago • NTA and as someone that used to work housekeeping at a performing arts center and arena those floors aren't cleaned as often as you think. So it's gross on many levels. Just think if everyone took off their shoes the stench would
    via u/AddressPowerful516
  • 09
    be vomit inducing. Unnecessarily taking your shoes off in public is r de and you should plan the appropriate footwear for whatever your activities are.
    via u/AddressPowerful516
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    . soupboyfanclub 13h ago months of this?! sounds like the play wasn't the most dramatic building... thing in the NTA. and def don't fly anywhere with her; she's clearly the "it's fiiiine if I take my shoes off" kind of person
    via u/soupboyfanclub
  • 11
    Cheezburger Image 10468025600
    via Unsplash+ (Andrej Lišakov)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 12

    While others weren't as convinced that taking your shoes off was a bad thing.

    • Happydumptruck 12h ago Is this a cultural thing? If you're freshly showered and dressed up in clean clothes and shoes... it's really not going to stink if you take off your pair of extremely uncomfortable boots if/when sat down somewhere where people aren't even going to see your feet.
    via u/Happydumptruck
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    I wouldn't bat an eye if someone did this at a broadway musical or something in London. In my town, we're all in socks at the public library because shoes are so dirty, we're all in
    via u/Happydumptruck
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    our socks at the doctors. clinic, lots of places where being in your socks is normal. And it doesn't stink. It's not mortifying to see someone in socks. Being upset over this is so strange to me. Tentative YTA because this may just be a cultural realm I have no idea about.
    via u/Happydumptruck
  • 15
    Inactivism • 10h ago It must be. German here and I am confused by all the comments about stinky socks XD. All my guests leave their shoes at the door. They don't smell. A lot of office workers wear socks in the office under their table because it is more comfy and just put the shoes on when they get up. I have been to a lot of theatres and it depends on the kind of theatre but even if you dressed up nicely you can definitely relax, once you sit down. Not bare feet relax but socks are okay. YTA.
    via u/Inactivism
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    Specialist-Web7854 .7h ago Relieved to read this, I honestly wouldn't give a sh*t if my friend took their shoes off, it's not like anyone is going to see them. I also don't know anyone with stinky feet!
    via u/Specialist-Web7854
  • 17
    . Sharp_Carrot 14h ago NTA. That's nasty. Doesn't even matter if they were wearing stocking or socks or whatever, straight up you don't do that in a place like a Theater. It's formal, not your house.
    via u/Sharp_Carrot
  • 18
    W... 13h ago Edited 12h ago Side question, do y'all not regularly wash your feet or wear clean socks? Why would your feet smell anymore than the rest of your body? How often do you smell other people's feet???
    via u/WillisPoofin
  • 19
    Edit: I come from the people that don't suffer from body odor and take off their shoes inside their houses so smelly feet isn't something I'm familiar with.
    via u/WillisPoofin
  • 20
    DoingTheBestICan101 OP •· 12h ago When you wear heavy, 5 inch platform boots, your feet sweat a lot more.
    via u/DoingTheBestICan101
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    Beautiful Bird_4092 12h ago Clean feet and socks aren't the issue. It's any sweat that comes through the sock even a tiny bit is immediately in contact with an extreme amount of bacteria in the inside of your shoe making it smell. Heeled boot often can't be cleaned easily without taking them in somewhere so sweat builds up
    via u/Beautiful_Bird_4092
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    • xoxnightlightxox 14h ago NTA. that's gross. especially at the theater. regardless of stinky socks/feet or not, people don't want to see that in public.
    via u/xoxnightlightxox
  • 23
    imfinewithastraw • 8h ago Slight YTA but I believe this is two different arguments. If someone takes off their shoes and there is a bad smell then 100% they need to put them back on. However if it's a dress code thing only then once they're sitting
    via u/imfinewithastraw
  • 24
    down watching a play I don't see the issue? Surely no one looking at their feet and they put them back on to walk around at interval or the end. So if it's a dress code question then I think you were wrong. If it's a smell question then you were right but I firmly believe two separate issues
    via u/imfinewithastraw
  • 25
    . gin... • 8h ago Edited 8h ago YTA Controlling other adults is not your responsibility. Let your friend deal with the consequences if there are any. Once you are seated, no one is going to see your attire. As someone in the performing arts community, I can give two sh!ts if someone is sitting in their seat with their shoes off. For this argument to go on for months is childish.
    via u/gingerfire88
  • 26
    • kase_horizon 13h ago NTA. Taking your shoes off in public is, with very few exceptions, absolutely disgusting and inappropriate.
    via u/kase_horizon
  • 27
    FireBallXLV 13h ago I knew a lady who was very country.She was best buds with the Hospital CEO so when she took off her heels and walked around work in her hose no one said anything .Until a new VP told her that was very unacceptable. UGH! No one wants to see that !!!NTA OP.Your friend needs a book on etiquette.
    via u/FireBallXLV
  • 28
    purpleyogamat • 12h ago Meh, my local theatre has a "come as you are" provision. No one is shamed for dress code. Dress up, don't. No one cares. Kick off your shoes at your seat. Put them on before intermission.
    via u/purpleyogamat
  • 29
    However, if they aren't easy to slip on off then no, because you will be trampled when it's time to leave. Also don't do this if your feet are gross or smell. INFO: Did their feet smell?
    via u/purpleyogamat
  • 30
    DoingTheBestICan101 OP • 12h ago Yes I have known them for 15 years. And when they wear those boots, yes. They smell
    via u/DoingTheBestICan101

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platform shoes friendship relationship advice shoes aita theatre AITAH best friends barefoot shoes off money problems storytime friends listen to your friends reddit story relationships friend story reddit thread Reddit discourse conflict
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