Impulsive mother sells house and quits job to travel, comes crawling back to 29-year-old son for financial help but he refuses: ‘She ignored everyone’s warnings’

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  • SOLD "I can't keep saving| her from herself."
  • "AITA for Refusing to Let My Mom Move in After She Sold Her House to Travel?"

    My (29M) mom (54F) has always been a free spirit. She had me young and raised me mostly on her own, and while I love her, she's never been the most responsible person. She always
  • followed her heart, even when it made no financial sense. Growing up, we struggled because she quit jobs impulsively or spent money she didn't have. I learned early to be independent because I never felt like I could fully rely on her.
  • Five years ago, when I was finishing college, she decided to sell her house, quit her job, and travel. She said she'd spent her whole life being "tied down" and now deserved to "live" I asked
  • what she'd do when the money ran out, and she just laughed, saying, "That's future me's problem." Family tried to talk her out of it, but she was determined.
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  • She sold the house, got rid of most of her belongings, and spent the next few years hopping from country to country, posting about her "dream life" on social media. Well, "future her's problem" has arrived.
  • A few months ago, she called me, sounding anxious. She admitted she was broke and had no place to go. She asked to stay with me and my fiancée (28F) for "a little while" until she figured things
  • out. The problem? We just bought our first home. a small two bed house that we barely have space in. We're also planning our wedding and looking forward to finally building our own life.
  • I told her I was sorry, but she couldn't move in. I offered to help financially for a bit, maybe cover rent for a cheap apartment but she got really upset. She said I was selfish and ungrateful, that
  • she "sacrificed everything" to raise me, and now I was abandoning her. She told me that family helps family and I was acting like a stranger.
  • I reminded her that she ignored everyone's warnings and that I shouldn't have to put my life on hold for her choices. She started crying, saying I didn't understand
  • how hard it was to be alone and broke at her age. That part made me feel guilty because I do get that she's scared and struggling. But at the same time, I can't keep saving her from herself.
  • Now, family members are reaching out, saying she's my mother and I owe it to her. My fiancée supports my decision but feels bad too. AITA for refusing to let my mom move in after she gambled her entire future away?
  • Boneflesh85 NTA You warned her, and she refused to listen. Tell her that future her needs to solve the problem like she said. Quite her to herself. If she likes travelling, she can get a random job anywhere in the world.
  • The_Maven999 She actually did have a job while traveling, but she got fired for being, well herself. Annoying and impulsive, it's frustrating because it feels. like she hasn't learned from her past mistakes.
  • ValleyOakPaper NTA Do not allow her to move in. She will never leave. The tell is that she refused your reasonable offer of helping her secure an apartment. Do not let her manipulate you into taking her in. At 54 she really should be financially supporting herself.
  • GruffPastures Those family members who are reaching out to you can let your mother live with them.
  • Silveerivy NTA. You're not obligated to disrupt your own life to take care of your mother, especially when she made these choices knowingly. You offered to help financially, which is a generous gesture. It's okay to prioritize your own well-being and the life you're building with your fiancée.
  • spaced... Calmly point out that it's no longer future me's problem but current you. Guess you should have listened. Now you can figure it out. Bye
  • Rye_One_ First and foremost, you owe your mother nothing. What you do for her is a choice, not an obligation. Your family members are all reaching out for their benefit - they want you to say yes so they don't have to say no. Don't listen to their noise.
  • The first step to save a drowning person is to not let them drag you down with them. If you let your mom move in, you will drown with her. Don't do it. Offer her what help you can. Refuse to do more. Don't get sucked into debates or explanations. "This is what I'm willing to offer". "No, that's not an option". Repeat as necessary.

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