35-year-old man refuses to allow entitled brother to lodge at inherited family cabin he renovated by himself: ‘If I let him stay for free, where do I draw the line?’

Author image for Lana DeGaetano
Lana DeGaetano • "Show me to me please."
Feb 23, 2025 2:00 PM EST

When a loved one passes, their memory lives on in the things they've left behind. That's why when you inherit a steering silver necklace, a cast iron pot, or a family cabin, you keep it and cherish it with all your heart. If you need to put money into the upkeep of said items and have the financial capability to do so, then you're actively allowing your loved one's memory to continue. Surely, your children will do the same thing for you, one day. There's something very special about legacies living on through physical objects.

If you refuse to put money into something that was left to you in a will, though, you can't get mad when one of your siblings decides to do it instead. The man who posted this next story spent his time and money on renovating his grandparents' family cabin. His brother refused to financially contribute to the project, which was fine, but matters get complicated when his brother wants to use the cabin for free this coming summer…

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  • The man saved up all of the money (and used up, too) to renovate this family vacation cabin. His brother wasn't keen on taking on a “big project” and thought it was too much work to do for a home that wouldn't be lived in 24/7. Fair enough… but now he's expecting to use it this summer without shelling out a dime to the man who redid the entire structure. In the spirit of being fair, the brother should be charged a certain amount for his and his family's stay. Read on to see how the situation unfolds.

  • "He just wants the benefits now that I've taken on all the costs."
    via Natalia Blauth For Unsplash+

  • "AITA for asking my brother to pay to use the family cabin after he refused to help restore it?"

    A few years ago, my (35M) grandparents passed away and left behind a beautiful but very run down lakeside cabin. It had been in our family for generations, but by the time it
    via LaRainax523
  • was passed down, it was in rough shape, the wood was rotting, the roof leaked, and the plumbing was ancient. My parents, not wanting the hassle, offered it to my younger brother, Matt (30M) first, since he had always talked about how much he loved the place growing up.
    via LaRainax523
  • At first, Matt was excited, but when he saw the actual state of the cabin, he quickly changed his mind. The renovations would cost tens of thousands of dollars, and the upkeep was more than he
    via LaRainax523
  • was willing to commit to. He told my parents that he "wasn't in a position to take on such a big project" and that it was "too much work for a vacation home". So they turned to me.
    via LaRainax523
  • I thought about it for a while, and even though I knew it would be a lot of work, I loved that cabin. I spent almost every summer there as a kid, fishing with my grandpa and roasting marshmallows with my cousins. It meant something to me. So I took it.
    via LaRainax523
  • The thing is, taking ownership wasn't just signing some papers, it was years of work and tens of thousands of dollars. I had to replace the roof, reinforce the foundation, fix the plumbing, and
    via LaRainax523
  • completely redo the deck, which was one bad storm away from collapsing. It became my after- work project, but it also became a major financial commitment.
    via LaRainax523
  • Every spare dollar I had went into fixing up that place. I've asked my family to help out many times, whether financially or physically with labour but no one ever did.
    via LaRainax523
  • Cheezburger Image 10471061760
    via Brooke Cagle For Unsplash+

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • Fast forward to a few years later, and Matt reaches out saying he and his wife want to take their kids on a summer vacation and "would love to use the cabin for a week". I told him sure but he'd need to contribute $500 to cover utilities and general wear and tear.
    via LaRainax523
  • He flipped out. He said I was being greedy for charging family and that the "Grandparents wouldn't want the cabin to be a business". I reminded him that he had the chance to take
    via LaRainax523
  • ownership, and he chose not to because he didn't want the responsibility. Now that I've poured my time and money into making it a livable space, it's not fair for him to expect a free vacation just because we share bl_d.
    via LaRainax523
  • He argued that "it's not like you're paying rent on it" and "you were gonna be there anyway". But that's not the point. If I let him stay for free, where do I draw the line? Do I have to offer it to every
    via LaRainax523
  • cousin, uncle, or second cousin twice removed who wants a weekend getaway? If Matt contributes nothing but gets free access, doesn't that mean I'm basically paying for his vacation?
    via LaRainax523
  • Now our mom is involved, saying I should "do the right thing" because "family helps family". I told her that Matt was offered the cabin first, and he said no because it was too much work. I
    via LaRainax523
  • had then asked for financial or physical help and he also denied. He didn't want to deal with the responsibilities, he just wants the benefits now that I've taken on all the costs.
    via LaRainax523
  • Matt hasn't spoken to me since, and our mom keeps telling me I'm being unfair. Am I the ah le for expecting him to chip in, or is he just entitled?
    via LaRainax523
  • Dips tistan NTA. Matt didn't contribute, mom didn't contribute, so between them they have zero say and you should have zero f s to give.
    via Dips**tistan
  • Maximal_gain NTA he did nothing to help restore and maintain the property. If you are now the legal owner, no one gets a say in who does or doesn't get to stay there or if they have to pay our not. Tell mom to b t out, if they had maintained it you wouldn't have had to sunk so much money into it to begin with.
    via Maximal_gain
  • Tablessssssss NTA and you should probably put new locks on the doors because Matt will be going to the cabin whether he pays or not
    via Tablessssssss
  • SonOfSchrute Charging them IS the right thing. NTA
    via SonOfSchrute
  • SparkleLifeLola NTA. Stand your ground. Your brother is a user, and your mom is his enabler. Every time your brother complains, raise the cost to stay another $100.
    via SparkleLifeLola

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family drama aita entitlement AITAH brother reddit story family feud entitled people karma entitled family cabin reddit thread Reddit Cabin in the Woods money family vacation entitled people vacation
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