Mom books Disney cruise 2 weeks in advance of pregnant daughter-in-law's due date, daughter flips out since they were depending on her for childcare: 'This is their problem'

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JR Atkinson • Writer and Editor
Feb 25, 2025 6:00 PM EST

Having a baby is a stressful, life-altering event. Even if everything goes smoothly, it still involves a lot of steps, a lot of planning, and a large amount of effort on the part of everyone involved. You need to plan around job obligations, need to have all the right stuff at your house, and perhaps think about sharing the burden with someone else in your community, most likely a family member. If you're lucky enough to have family who can help you through new parenthood, you might come to rely on them. It's understandable. But the line can easily blur between responsibility, obligation, and doing a favor. 

They may not be contractually obligated to help you out, but you might have a hard time figuring it out without their help. That's what happened in this story when a grandmother-to-be's planned Disney vacation started to conflict with her daughter-in-law's due date. 

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    Cheezburger Image 10472480256
    via Unsplash+ (Getty Images)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • Commenters were split, though, on whether or not she was in the right to go on the cruise as planned. Some thought since the cruise was booked in advance of the pregnancy announcement, she was in the clear. Others worried for the health and safety of the new baby after being exposed to cruise germs. Read on for the details and see what you think.

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    AITA for going on a cruise right before the birth of my niece?

    TL;DR: My mom and I booked a Disney cruise with other extended family months ago, but it's set to happen two weeks before my brother's baby is due. My brother and his wife have been under a lot of stress (job loss, one child with a severe disability, and a high-risk pregnancy.) They were counting on my mom to watch their daughter during the birth, and just found out that we will only get back two weeks before the due date.
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    My SIL had a total meltdown, crying, yelling, and calling my mom irresponsible and selfish for going so close to the due date, especially since they're relying on her for child care. My mom thinks two weeks is plenty of time and was shocked at their reaction. However, they both still think my mom is in the wrong and should cancel the trip. If she
    via u/KittenPuppyCookie
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    doesn't, it will cause "irreparable damage" to their relationship. I understand their stress, but I feel like canceling a trip we booked a long time ago and have been looking forward to just in case of an early delivery is unfair. Am I (and is my mom) the ah le for still going?
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    Edit: the cruise was booked in August, pregnancy announced in September. The cruise is in April. Induction is scheduled in May. She would never have scheduled it like this intentionally, but nobody put together how close the timing was until recently.
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    Also, there are no other living grandparents (that's why they're not helping out.) I do not know what specifically was agreed to in terms of child care, but clearly calendars were not used.
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    Commenters gave their opinions on whether or not it was right for her to keep her vacation plans.

    FaelingJester 17h ago NTA but I also wouldn't want someone who just came off of a packed cruise during flu season watching my kid with a high risk pregnancy that could go critical at any time. That doesn't make it your fault or your mothers. It's just a bad scary situation.
    via u/FaelingJester
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    • StrangerOnReddit 17h ago NTA. Sounds like they have time to line up someone else to help should she go into labor while you're on your trip.
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    • Dschingis_Khaaaaan 16h ago NTA - Unless they had a prior arrangement with mom and she planned this without talking to them. Otherwise it's their problem for not planning ahead and communicating and just assuming mom would be around. But you are blameless.
    via u/Dschingis_Khaaaaan
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    Realistic_Head4279 • 16h ago NTA. I get that your brother and SIL might be feeling a lot of stress right now, but that still does not justify their reaction to your mom. This is their responsibility, and they have time to set up a Plan B in case the baby arrives early. Sorry they have seen fit to threaten your mother over this.
    via u/Realistic_Head4279
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    • Fickle_Toe1724 16h ago NTA. Why isn't her OWN mother going to be helping? Or anyone in her family? Did they talk to your mom about needing her help on X date? No? Then go on the trip and enjoy.
    via u/Fickle_Toe1724
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    Your brother and his wife need to find alternatives for their older child. This is their problem, not yours and not your mother's.
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    LowBalance4404 • 16h ago NTA. Your mother's life doesn't revolve around a grandchild. Your SIL sounds very spoiled. Life goes on, despite her having a baby.
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    Cheezburger Image 10472480768
    via Unsplash+ (Getty Images)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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    Usrname52 16h ago • Did your mom know about the pregnancy before the cruise was booked? And you said they were counting on her to be there.....did she say she would be? Because then, yes, she's the AH. (You have nothing to do with it, but I guess YTA as her proxy). Or did they just assume?
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    I couldn't imagine my parents being away when I had a baby. They are our biggest support system, and most importantly, they would WANT to be there. If your mom has been the primary support person for their toddler, I could imagine how surprised they are that she doesn't care to be there/help them when the new baby is born. I'm not entitled to my parents caring for my older kid, but I really couldn't fathom them not being there.
    via u/Usrname52
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    They are going to have to rethink their entire support system....which involves finding a carer for their severely disabled child. One that the kid can be comfortable with, and one that will be on call when needed.
    via u/Usrname52
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    Two weeks before the due date is not "early". And, as someone said, a cruise is one of the worst places for germs and getting sick, so I wouldn't want someone around my newborn for like 2 weeks coming back. How far out is this from now? How much time do your brother and SIL have to make entirely different plans?
    via u/Usrname52
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    ImpastaBrie • 16h ago NTA • Two weeks is plenty of time. • You and your mother's lives do not revolve around catering to your brother and his wife.
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    TheSocialScientist_ • 15h ago Since the cruise was booked before the pregnancy announcement, I'll say NAH. This is a matter of poor communication and your mom not conveying what she could offer/your brother not making expectations clear from the start.
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    rt_gilly 15h ago The "irreparable harm" comment is what gets me. That sounds like a very controlling thing to say.
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    It doesn't do them any good to freak out on anyone - that solves nothing. And to threaten that if your mom takes a cruise (most likely a non-refundable one) it will damage the relationship and be all her fault is bogus.
    via u/rt_gilly
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    Nobody is responsible for their feelings except for themselves. Nothing can damage their relationship with your mother unless they choose for it to damage the relationship.
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    Instead of freaking out, it probably would have been much smarter to sit down calmly and discuss their concerns (with timing, with cruise germs around a newborn, etc.) and to work out a game plan together. Your mother should have been involved in a solution, not told what to do under threat of irreparable harm.
    via u/rt_gilly
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    And to be clear, babysitting for the older child is not necessarily the same thing as exposing a newborn to cruise germs. There are plenty of precautions they can take to minimize any cross- family exposure, including the older child staying with grandma until enough post-cruise time has passed to ensure no
    via u/rt_gilly
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    contagions are being brought into the home. This has the added benefit of allowing mom and dad to ease back into life with an infant without having to worry about the older kid right away. Which benefits the older kid too, who isn't ignored while mom and dad are preoccupied with the new sib and sleep deprived.
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    ReadySettyGoey • 15h ago ESH. SIL's reaction is not helpful given this sounds like a potential miscommunication. But your mom also s ks for suggesting getting back two weeks before the due date is plenty of time such that she can still be relied on. And as others have said, you don't go on a cruise right before watching a small child and being around a newborn - that's just asking for trouble in terms of sickness/germs.
    via u/ReadySettyGoey
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    I just feel bad for your brother. My in-laws volunteered to watch my kiddo while we're in the hospital for the birth of our second and voluntarily stopped traveling six weeks before my due date just in case.
    via u/ReadySettyGoey
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    GoopInThisBowllsVile • 16h ago NTA - If your mom gives in to the demands of the terrorists they'll just lean that they'll get what they want if they act crappy enough. Go on your vacation. If the kid shows up early they can figure it out and make it work. Last I checked that was an important part of parenting.
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    I'm also really past the point of being understanding about the demands and other bulls parents somehow think everyone should do in order to cater to them.
    via u/GoopInThisBowllsVile

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childcare Babies aita infant kids moms cruise parenting dad cute kids pregnant reddit thread parent Reddit raising kids grandmother Parenting Fail parents children vacation Parenting FAILS
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