'I never interacted with his precious little family. don't care about them and don't feel any sense of obligation to pretend they're my family’: 19-year-old son refuses estranged father’s $40,000 request for medical treatment after years of zero contact

Author image for Etai Eshet
Etai Eshet • Editor
Feb 26, 2025 9:00 PM EST

Nothing spins the wheel of family drama quite like money. It's funny how quiet things can be until someone inherits a little cash, and then suddenly the world starts turning a lot faster. Long-lost relatives reappear, moral arguments are polished up for presentation, and everyone seems to rediscover how much they care about you. Because if money makes the world go around, it also makes awkward "How you've been?" texts and rekindling urges follow in orbit.  

When someone who spent years burning bridges suddenly decides they need help crossing one, when the very people who acted like you didn't exist suddenly circle back like boomerangs, without understanding how karma likes to do things. That when he does her best work, like the saying goes–Karma is a forgiving angel.

Take, for example, the 19-year-old with a trust fund left by grandparents who understood that money really does make the world go around and estranged relatives, circle you like hungry vultures.

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  • "AITA for not giving my father money from my inheritance to pay for treatment for his stepkid?"

    "I don't know his wife or her kids. That's why I said no"
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    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • His father, who once told him to either embrace a shiny new stepfamily or hit the road, whirled back into the son’s life to request forty thousand dollars for his stepchild's treatment.

    The answer was no, because if you previously slammed the door you can’t just decide it suddenly is a revolving one.

  • The deal is this. I (19m) got an inheritance from my paternal grandparents two years ago. They left it in a trust for me that safeguarded it from everyone who might want to use it for their own purposes. This includes my
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  • father/their son. I got access to the money when I turned 19 (a choice my grandparents made). I was the primary beneficiary and they left my father the lowest amount they could that would also prevent him from contesting their will.
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  • I haven't lived with my father in 5 years. When he met his wife he gave me two choices. Either agree to treat them all as family from day one and embrace her two kids, who were really young when they met, and accept she'll
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  • be the mom in the house and it makes her my mom too or I can get the f out of his house and stop sponging off him. I chose to live with my maternal grandparents.
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  • My mom did when I was 6 for those who'll ask. My parents weren't together and mom was my primary caregiver but my father had visitation weekends
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  • with me before mom did and then I lived with him. I think he blamed me for being born and resented my existence. He sure acted like that anyway.
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  • So I never interacted with his precious little family. I don't know his wife or her kids. I don't care about them and don't feel any sense of obligation to pretend they're my family.
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  • Which is why I said no when he reached out to me a couple of months ago and asked me to give him money from my inheritance (40k) to pay for treatment for one of his stepkids.
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  • He sent me a bunch of links about the condition and the treatment which was I think in Switzerland or maybe Germany. He said the kid was getting worse and they were worried about it
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  • Cheezburger Image 10472870144
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    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • becoming fatal. Apparently this is a condition the kid always had but gets worse and doesn't have many treatment options yet. But they have this one which is
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  • something. Honestly I thought I'd blocked him on my socials so the DM was a surprise. I said no and I blocked him and carried on. But then he texted me and I
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  • wondered how he got my number since I changed mine after I moved in with my grandparents. But he had my paternal grandparents phones and he found my number on
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  • them. I told him to stop and he wasn't getting the money. He sent me some more info via texts and even shared their fundraising with me which wasn't getting much. He said they'd consider this other place for treatment if they could get some money for it.
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  • I blocked the number and blocked the other texts that came through. I guess after enough silence he decided to bring others in and he sent my uncle after me. My uncle wanted to
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  • know why I said no and whether I'd considered using the money to make him pay for his treatment of me by making him legally obligated to pay me back with interest. I said no. I said I
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  • didn't want to help them and I wasn't giving any of my money. My uncle said I could help a kid, maybe save their life and that should be considered over who that kid belongs to. Then he dropped the whole stepsibling thing and I told him to get lost.
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  • But I guess it made me think a bit. I don't feel guilty. Just reflective. Because I could give the 40k and I'm choosing not to. H II think one of his texts increased how much he wanted me to give but I could afford it anyway and I'm just saying no.
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  • skyy_moon NTA. Your father abandoned you for his new family, and now he only cares because he needs money. You owe him nothing especially not your inheritance, which was protected for a reason. Kindness is a choice, not an obligation. He burned the bridge, not you
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  • Leather-Hand-4947 Your father abandoned you for someone else's kids. H_I no. NTA.
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  • rosebudny NTA. Your paternal grandparents - your father's own parents - chose to leave the money to YOU, not their son or his stepchildren. Likely for a reason.
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  • The bear2017 Nta you are 19. That's still so young and they are playing on that and guilting you with "he may di "next person that comes to you saying you need to give something ask what they have given.
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family drama inheritance aita AITAH brother mother tradition siblings family feud favoritism wedding aunt sister fiancé grandmother Father
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