Mom accuses dad of favoritism after he rewards daughter with ice cream following a dentist's visit, but doesn't get anything for the other kids: ‘Rookie move’

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    H "Just because one kid gets something doesn't always mean they all have to
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    "AITA for buying a treat for my oldest daughter but not her younger brother and sister?"

    My (39m) wife (40f) and I I have three children (10f, 8m, 7f.) A few afternoons ago our oldest had a dentist's appointment, and I agreed to take her while my wife took care of the other two.
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    Our oldest has always struggled at the dentist. Her mother and I have worked with her on this and we've found a dentist who is really good with kids
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    who are afraid of going to the dentist. She did really well this time; easily the most smooth experience we'd ever had there.
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    Since she did so well, I decided to reward her on the way home, so I went to a Culver's drive thru and bought her a shake. I got one for myself, as well.
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    When we got home, my other two children began to complain that they didn't get ice cream, saying that it was "unfair." I told them that this was just how things worked out this day;
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    that their sister had to go through something unpleasant, but that she'd done a good job, and that next time I had to take either of them out for something similar that
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    they'd probably get a treat too. Later, however--when it was just the two of us--my wife told me that she thought it looked as if I was
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    playing favorites, that of course the other two kids would object, and that I should have bought treats for everyone. But I don't agree; I think it's fine for
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    our kids to realize that just because one kid gets something doesn't always mean they all have to. AITA?
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    Cheezburger Image 10475127040
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    AliciaBrownSugar NTA. I agree. They need to learn one day that not every thing one person gets, they do too. Are you giving them presents on the others' birthdays too just so they don't throw a fit? I kinda
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    hate that. They are old enough to learn the answer no. You can't always get what you want, and you can't always get what someone else gets. You probably should have
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    stayed out and finished the shake since you got one for yourself too though and not just the kid. You didn't go through a hard situation. Lol. But I don't think that makes you an AH for treating a kid for doing well.
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    OldBroad 1964 I'm conflicted. I get getting the treat to celebrate. But why bring it home? It's pretty evident that would cause an issue. You should have had it at the place and then come home.
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    rememberimapersontoo NTA your wife is being weird on this one, your eldest earned that milkshake thru being brave. your wife is not setting your younger kids up for success by making them believe they deserve anything that anyone else has, even though they haven't gone thru the process to earn it
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    Kirstemis YTA, partly for taking the shakes home, but mainly for telling your kids that their sister was rewarded for doing something unpleasant. Teaching them to
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    be scared of the dentist isn't clever, and teaching all of them that they should be rewarded for doing basic necessities is setting up long term problems.
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    PhenomWifeandMom NTA. Children need to learn that "fair is not always equal." With that being said, it's expected for young children to get jealous of others getting treats, so I'd have finished the
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    milkshakes in the car or at the restaurant to avoid the younger children at least having to see the treat if I weren't bringing anything home for them.
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    No-Method-7736 Rookie move. You finish that sh in the car and get rid of the evidence before going inside! YTA.
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    cornerlane Yta. She got to the dentist, not you. So you didn't deserve that milkshake either. You could buy one for everyone.
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    And the dentist is hard for her? I understand that and it's good she goes. But the other 2 would make a big deal out of going to the dentist. If you are scared you got an reward

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