Years of exclusion drive 34-year-old woman to go No Contact with her family after they purposefully leave her out of sister's birth: "They were enjoying that beautiful moment without me"

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    AITA for hanging up on my family when my sister just had her baby?

    "I was the only invited." one not
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    I (34,f) have 2 sisters who I'll call Sally (31,f) and Bea (28,f). I am close to both - or thought i was... Bea got married a few years ago and had been having fertility issues. She and her husband finally conceived through IVF and I was ecstatic for her when I found out she was pregnant.
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    There have been a few times over the years where I've felt purposely left out of things. I was the only one who never got an invitation to Bea's graduation (she thought i wouldn't want to go), when pur
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    grandfather passed away they had a big family get together a few days later (I was the only one not - invited they didnt think I'd want to go...again).
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    When Bea had her baby shower she organised it on a day where she knew i wouldn't be able to attend. Alrhough upset at missing out, I dropped off at my parents a beautiful hamper full of things I'd been
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    buying for the baby and Bea and included a hand made blanket that one of my aunts (recently passed) hand knitted for my little boy when she found out I was pregnant 6 years ago.
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    Throughout her pregnancy Bea has said that the day she had the baby she only wanted our parents and her husbands parents to visit the hospital and that then they wanted the first 24hrs at home by themselves with no visitors as they have a dog and wanted him to get used to baby first- totally understandable and fine by me.
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    Bea has had multiple medical complications throughout her pregnancy which has meant she had to have an early C- Section. I spoke to Bea the day before and told her my day was clear (at work but
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    not alot on) and that if she needed me she knew where I was and that I couldn't wait to hear from her (we didn't know the gender or anything so very excited)
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    On the day, I get an FB call around 1pm from Bea in which she and my dad introduced me to my beautiful nephew. I was delighted. Bea then handed the phone to my mum as a nurse came in. My mum then informed me that Sally was there....
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    My joy turned into devastation. I asked my mum why i hadnt been invited to the hospital too. She said because I was working that they hadn't thought I'd be able to go. I told her that was an issue for me to
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    deal with and that if I'd asked, my manager would have let me leave to enjoy the moment with my family, but instead they were all there enjoying that beautiful moment without me...again. I hung up in
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    tears from my mum. I've removed myself from the family group chat. I spoke to my manager at work who said she would have definitely let me leave for the afternoon and was shocked my family have done that.
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    I messaged my mum afterwards and told her how upset I was and her response was "I'm sorry you feel that way". My manager said she's gaslighting me and said my feelings are absolutely valid
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    Sweaty_Average4525 NTA. This isn't about one missed event, it's a consistent pattern of your family excluding you.
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    scartakascared You know it's bad when even the 'family' in 'family reunion' starts feeling more like a 'family exclusion.' NTA! Time to start planning your own fabulous party!
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    Royal RoseHi Family should not be treated like a total stranger. If she didn't want family there then why did she allow the other sister? I'm offended also.
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    susanrparker22 Sometimes, hanging up is necessary
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    theDagman That was one of the times you need one of the old land lines with the kind of phone where you can slam down the receiver with the proper effect. Nothing like just slamming that receiver down with all your might, and not worrying about breaking your phone.
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    BeagleGirl23 My sisters did this to me for a bit. Until i broke down and was like, why, if i am busy, the invite means you at least considered me, just not mentioning anything was hurtful.
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    And lucky for me, they haven't done it again. But did it hurt to find out that they had sister events or family things without me because "i was busy." i was the sibling with a job...
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    isla_glowing So they 'didn't think you'd want to go!... again?? At this point, they're either oblivious or just don't care about your feelings. Hanging up wasn't an overreaction—it was a natural response to being treated like an afterthought. NTA.
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    Rough-Medicine5183 I'd go LC with all of them because they clearly don't value you as a part of the family. Keep us updated
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    AJR1623 I was excluded from family things, too. I spent far too long trying to "fix it." And then I read this quote," When you find no solution to a problem, it's probably not a problem to be solved. But, rather, it is a truth to be accepted."
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    randomthoughts2025 NTA. But honestly how many times do they have to show you, that you are not wanted there? They aren't worried about you being busy they are purposely excluding you to the point where it's now gaslighting.
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    They excluded you multiple times you know where you stand now so act accordingly. NC or LC. Bea obviously has it in for you, obviously is the person who wants you on the out. So make good choices to protect yourself.
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    ilaviewZ Are you SURE it is your whole family? I'm wondering if it is actually all your mother. I think the time has come for a heart to heart with Bea and maybe Sally too. If they think you don't want to go to things is it because your mother is telling them this? Is she actually the one keeping you out and not the others?
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    DreamingofRlyeh Yeah, three out of the four major examples OP listed were events about Bea, and Bea was also invited to the fourth. It sounds like she is a common factor in OP's exclusion

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