‘I flat out said no’: Employee refuses to train her underqualified replacement after being passed up on a promotion she was ‘heavily encouraged’ to apply for

Author image for Lana DeGaetano
Lana DeGaetano • "Show me to me please."
Mar 8, 2025 6:00 PM EST

Many employers think they're pulling a fast one of their employees when they sneakily request them to train their replacement, whether they were fired or passed up on a promotion. Whoever told these employers that they're employees couldn't do so much as screw in a lightbulb, thank you from the bottom of every employee's heart. You did the dirty work for them, and now the employers' games are brought to the surface. If you are unsure that you're working for a toxic company/boss, just see what they do when a new hire comes along like the one in this story.

This woman has worked at her company for years and was encouraged by many to apply for a promotional position. After multiple rounds of interviews, she was passed up and told to train the person who did land the promotion, a colleague named Dave who has only been at the company for about a year. Well, she says, "No thanks!" Why? If she was "under-qualified," she shouldn't be training anyone. Scroll to read.

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  • Getting passed up on a promotion you were told you were a shoe-in for is pretty heavy stuff, and some commenters believe it has something to do with the fact that she's a woman. Now, it is not in my job title to concretely judge the situation in this story, but with the context provided, it's not a far-off guess-timation. You see this in the workplace frequently, especially in corporate settings that are guy-heavy. You make the judgement yourself…

  • "I told them if I wasn't qualified enough to be promoted, then I wasn't qualified enough to train him either."
    via Getty Images For Unsplash+

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • "AITA for refusing to train my replacement after being passed over for a promotion?"

    I (29F) have been working at my company for five years. Recently, a promotion opened up that I was heavily encouraged to apply for. I did multiple interviews, got good
    via AmberAura19
  • feedback, and honestly thought I had a strong shot. Then, out of nowhere, they gave the role to Dave (34M), a guy who has been here for just over a year.
    via AmberAura19
  • The official reasoning was that he had more leadership experience. Which is fine, but he was literally coming to me for help on projects up until last month. It stung, but I
    via AmberAura19
  • was ready to move on, until my manager asked me to "help bring Dave up to speed" on my tasks. Apparently, I'd be shifting into more of a support role under him.
    via AmberAura19
  • Cheezburger Image 10477119744
    via Getty Images For Unsplash+

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • I flat-out said no. I told them if I wasn't qualified enough to be promoted, then I wasn't qualified enough to train him either. My manager looked genuinely shocked and said I was being
    via AmberAura19
  • short-sighted and unprofessional. HR even pulled me aside and implied that refusing could impact my future here. But at this point, I'm already job hunting, so I just keep doing my usual work while they scramble to get Dave up to speed.
    via AmberAura19
  • Some coworkers think I'm justified, while others (including Dave) feel like I'm being petty. AITA?
    via AmberAura19
  • EDJardin NTA, and LOL on HR. Impact your future? Like being passed over for someone less qualified didn't already have an impact. Sounds like it's time for Dave to show off all his "leadership" skills while you focus on finding a new job.
    via EDJardin
  • Also, unless it is part of your regular job duties, they can't legally fire you for not training your replacement. That's HR's job.
    via EDJardin
  • Prudii Skirata NTA In the shortsighted mindset of corporate... If you make yourself irreplacable, you become unpromotable.
    via Prudii_Skirata
  • Mira_DFalco NTA What future are they talking about exactly? They passed you over for a promotion, for a less qualified person, and are asking you to train him for your job, with the expectation that you're moving into a subordinate role? That doesn't exactly scream "job security." Sounds like it's resume time.
    via Mira_DFalco
  • rocketmn69_ Say to Dave, "No Dave, I'm not being petty. Unfortunately you don't know how things work and they want me to teach you, apparently I'm not qualified to do your job, nor train you. The fact that they insulted me to my face is unforgiveable. HR has hinted that I won't be here much longer, so there's even less incentive. I honestly wish you the best in your new role."
    via rocketmn69_
  • Bearliz NTA. This happened to me. I had worked there 15 years. Was passed by a guy who had been there 2 months. Their excuse he was a man and had a family to support. I didn't train him and took a different job in the same company. 3 months later, they asked me to come back to their section and take the promotion. He had left and left a hugh mess. I said no thanks, love my new position, and coworkers.
    via Bearliz
  • Vegetable-Cod-2340 NTA They can think you're being petty if they like, but the fact is HR and the Management is responsible for training Dave. What if OP didn't exist, do they now have any onboarding for this role?!?!
    via Vegetable-Cod-2340
  • Or are they really just trying to take advantage of OP's five years. in this department, despite the the fact that they didn't want to promote them! Also HR implying it could affect your job is a empty threat, they encouraged you to apply and didn't promote you, you know you don't have a future here, they made that really clear.
    via Vegetable-Cod-2340
  • Linvaderdespace "you've already passed me over for the best possible promotion, what more could you do to undermine my career here, and why do you think that threatening me is the best way to coerce me into complaying?"
    via Linvaderdespace
  • IfI Could Stay How are you supposed to get "leadership experience" like Dave has if they don't put you in a leadership role? NTA
    via IfICouldStay
  • Haunting-Aardvark709 HR even pulled me aside and implied that refusing could impact my future here. Excuse me? They showed you explicitly that you have no future with this company. NTA Step up the job search. Good luck!
    via Haunting-Aardvark709
  • Fickle_Toe1724 - NTA. I have many years on you. You are a smart woman. Never train the person they promoted instead of you. They are replacing you. Find that new job. Where they appreciate you. Until then, don't do any extra at work. Dave got promoted. He can figure it out.
    via Fickle_Toe1724

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