22-year-old girl forces friend to sit on guy friend's lap for 1.5 hour drive, gets mad when she Ubers home: 'Sarah tried to argue, but my ride showed up, so I left'

Author image for JR Atkinson
JR Atkinson • Writer and Editor
Mar 14, 2025 3:00 PM EDT

Sitting on someone's lap during a car ride is not only uncomfortable but unsafe! We've all probably done it in a pinch, but only for a 5-minute drive to the convenience store or home from dinner. Anything above 20 minutes is untenable. If you're the one on top, you're unbuckled, sliding all over the place trying to hold onto the handles on the door for dear life. If you're the one on the bottom, your lap is being crushed by an adult person and you quickly lose feeling in your legs. A terrible situation all around if you ask me. 

Peer pressure is real, though. Sometimes you end up doing things because your friends ask you to, and you don't want to look "uncool" in front of them. It can happen at any age, though it tends to happen a lot more when you're younger. Peer pressure can take hold and make you do things you're not the most comfortable with.

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    Cheezburger Image 10479393024
    via Unsplash+ (Leire Cavia)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • That's what happened in this situation when a girl was so wrapped up in spending time with her boyfriend that she neglected the needs of her friend. The friend was then put in a weird spot where she was forced to compromise. Read on for the story and see what you think.

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    AITA for taking an Uber home instead of sitting on a man's lap?

    So my best friend (Sarah, F22) recently got a new boyfriend (James, M23) and she is over the moon into him. Sarah is one of the very few people I hangout with. She recently just met James' friend group, a group of guys, and they invited her to go on a beach trip with them. Sarah begged me to go with and kept insisting I join even when I declined the offer about 4 times. Eventually, I just agreed to go to get her off my back about being sad and alone.
    via u/ThrowRA_natt
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    I was told that I would have a ride. Sarah and I were the last to be picked up, and when they pull up, there are four guys in a five passenger car. I see this as my way out. I say, "oh! Looks like there isn't enough room for both of us. You can go enjoy the beach with your boyfriend, I don't mind staying behind." Sarah tells me that it isn't a big deal if she has to sit on James' lap to make it work. Immediately I feel on edge.
    via u/ThrowRA_natt
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    Turns out, James was the one driving and said he wouldn't trust anyone else to drive his car. He told me that I would be the one sitting on someone's lap because there's no way that he would let Sarah do that. I don't know these guys at all. I pull Sarah aside and tell her that im uncomfortable, thinking that she would help me out. Instead she encourages me, saying that she thinks I would have fun and maybe even get a date.
    via u/ThrowRA_natt
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    She is so into James and has been talking about this trip nonstop for over a week, so I decided to just do it to make her happy.
    via u/ThrowRA_natt
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    Two of the three guys in the back (Sarah sits up front next to James) offer up their laps. I just pick the guy with the most leg room. We live about 45 minutes from the nearest beach so I thought it wouldn't be too bad, except that I was told ON THE DRIVE that we were actually going to a beach an hour and a half away instead. My mood just becomes more and more sour. I never once relax, and eventually find myself quietly fuming once my emotions set in.
    via u/ThrowRA_natt
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    The boys that I am squeezed into the back with just talk around me, physically leaning over me constantly, brushing up against me. Once we get to the beach, we set up and I finally find a moment to relax. I eat a sandwich I packed and read a book while sarah and James are lovey dovey and the guys mess around in the ocean. I was asked TWICE about why I only packed a sandwich for myself. Not jokingly either. Not once had I been asked to bring a single thing.
    via u/ThrowRA_natt
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    When it came to the part where everyone was getting in the car, I just told James and Sarah that I had called an uber to pick me up because I didn't want to sit on anyone's lap for another hour and a half. Sarah tried to argue, but my ride showed up, so I left.
    via u/ThrowRA_natt
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    I got a call from Sarah a few hours later. She called me a bad friend for ditching everyone. When I told her how the whole day was making me she told me I was being feel - I selfish and that I had been acting like all day. I do not think I ab deserve that, but I am also pretty paranoid that I did something wrong. AITA ?
    via u/ThrowRA_natt
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    Cheezburger Image 10479392256
    via Unsplash+ (Getty Images)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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    Commenters were quick to take the friend's side, calling out Sarah's selfishness.

    -DoctorSpaceman- • 9h ago NTA, I wouldn't do that regardless of who I know in the car or our genders in case the car crashes. That said, if you weren't against the lap sitting idea in general, why didn't you suggest sitting on Sarah's lap or vice versa?
    via u/-DoctorSpaceman-
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    • Frequent-Package-607 8h ago NTA Apparently being Sarah's friend means being ok with whatever sacrifices you need to make in order to make her happy. F______. Her. She is not your friend.
    via u/Frequent-Package-607
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    • Traditional_Bug_2046 9h ago NTA but please use this as a sign to respect your gut instinct about your boundaries. Don't get in the (metaphorical) car next time.
    via u/Traditional_Bug_2046
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    Also please understand that sitting on people's laps and/or not wearing seat belts in cars could kill you. I used to keep my leg propped up on the dash on long trips sometimes. Then I saw a reddit post with the xrays of people who did that and got into a car accident. Safety first.
    via u/Traditional_Bug_2046
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    No_Philosopher_1870 9h ago . NTA. I wouldn't have gotten into the car in the first place. Blame safety issues and the potential for James to be ticketed because the car was overloaded and you did not have access to a seatbelt. Had you had an accident, it's likely that you would have been launched through the windshield.
    via u/No_Philosopher_1870
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    Coconut_Scrambled . 8h ago NTA, I am a guy and even I got second hand discomfort imagining your situation. It looks like they didn't even stop to think for one second how to make you comfortable. They showed up with just one free seat to pick up two people
    via u/Coconut_Scrambled
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    and James chose to drive knowing fully well he was not going to let Sarah sit on anyone's lap. When people act like this, fully disregarding your comfort, you're allowed to behave however you want.
    via u/Coconut_Scrambled
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    chaoticfuse. 8h ago NTA. It's your friend that is. She's not a good friend. She's not a friend at all. She's selfish as f and you should not put up with it. You shouldn't have gone at all. The fact she's trying to guilt you the whole time shows what a total garbage person she is.
    via u/chaoticfuse
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    gerogeroneko212 . 9h ago NTA, In the future don't just sk it up. You had a bad feeling about the situation and you were right too. It was weird how insistent she was that you sit on some randoms lap. NTA
    via u/gerogeroneko212
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    Nester1953 6h ago A woman who coerces you to sit on a strange man's lap in an enclosed space, in a moving car, surrounded by other men you don't know, with no escape, for an hour and a half, and then treats you badly and calls you names because you refuse to do the same thing on the way back is not a friend. Dump her. Virtually anyone on a street corner would be a better,, safer friend than that!
    via u/Nester1953
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    Frosty_Emotion_1431 8h ago NTA Sarah is not your friend. She is selfish and pressured you into a dangerous situation. Outside of your discomfort because you are on some randos lap, think about what would have happened in the event of an accident.
    via u/Frosty_Emotion_1431
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    Please trust your instincts next time and spend less time worrying about someone's feelings. In your effort to not rock the boat you put yourself in a really bad situation. You have to learn to protect yourself when others don't and cut out friendships with selfish people who don't care for you as much as you care for them.
    via u/Frosty_Emotion_1431
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    Starbeets 8h ago NTA. Sarah is a toxic mess. She couldn't care less about how you felt, what you experienced, and how you were treated. She just wanted you there as an accessory, something to make her experience better (why? to show she has a friend? so she'd
    via u/Starbeets
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    feel less awkward? for safety? who knows, who cares). She is not a friend, she's actually a liability. At 22 she's way too old to be acting this way. Distance yourself, find better friends.
    via u/Starbeets
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    Andriannewonthebun • 7h ago NTA. If you were my daughter we would be sitting down to have a conversation about your friendship with Sarah- who seems to only care about herself, her comfort and her boundaries. Please make new, real, friends.
    via u/Andriannewonthebun
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    CherylRoseZ . 8h ago Geez I cannot imagine how much an hour and a half Uber ride costs. If you were willing to pay that you were definitely uncomfortable and your friend S ks. NTA
    via u/CherylRoseZ

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