Boyfriend cancels romantic dinner with his girlfriend and instead invites his mother and sister, internet encourages woman to stand up for herself: ‘I feel like I'm on the back burner’

Author image for Lana DeGaetano
Lana DeGaetano • "Show me to me please."
Mar 15, 2025 3:00 PM EDT

Unfortunately, many women enter relationships with men who are seemingly already emotionally married to their mothers (and sometimes their sisters). A man holding empathy for and treating his mother kindly is usually a good sign, but not when they repeatedly prioritizes them over you. That's when you should start worrying just a little bit. However, you are permitted to start worrying a lot a bit if your boyfriend starts canceling plans with you to instead bring his mother and sister along. Mama's boy behavior (in the bad way). In this next story, a woman decides to have a serious talk with her boyfriend after he cancels their romantic plans last minute, just so he can invite his mother and sister to them instead. She admits that his mother and sister are a bit reserved, but she thinks this is all because they feel threatened by her existence in his life. Scroll below to see how the situation unfolds. Some commenters are asking the million dollar question: Does she want to feel like this for the rest of her life? 

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  • You've likely seen this tale time and time again. A mama's boy knows no bounds, especially when it comes to acceptable behavior in a relationship. There's a difference between respecting your mother and placing her on a higher pedestal than your long-term partner, but this woman's boyfriend clearly doesn't understand the weight of his actions (and inaction). The woman feels like she's “on the back burner," rightfully so.

  • "I need to stand up myself right now." for
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  • "AIO for being upset that my (24F) boyfriend (25M) cancelled our romantic dinner to take his mom and sister (25F) instead?"

    Throwaway for obvious reasons. Basically what the title says. My (24F) boyfriend (26M) of 3 years had told me over the weekend that he made reservations for a romantic restaurant on the lake. I
    via PlumDue301
  • was excited because our jobs don't allow us a lot of time to spend together as is. I packed a cute outfit and got everything ready this morning to change into after work.
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  • Cheezburger Image 10479504384
    via Fellipe Ditadi For Unsplash+

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • Then, he texts me. "I actually can't take you tonight, I'm going with my mom and sister (25F) instead.". Now, normally, I'm pretty understanding, but this is weird, right? He kind of just
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  • brushed me off with a "Well, they really wanted to go. So yeah, sorry.". I have no problem with him spending time with his family...but this was supposed to
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  • be our date? Not to mention I had to prepare and pack everything since he lives about 45 minutes away from me. Now he's going to enjoy a romantic dinner with his mom and sister and I'm going back home to be by myself.
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  • AIO for being upset about this? UPDATE: Thank you all for your advice. I have read all the comments, and I went ahead and pressed the issue a little further with him.
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  • To respond to some questions in the comments: Do you get along with his family? His family and I get along pretty well. We've been on trips together, gotten each other gifts
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  • for holidays/birthdays - the whole 9 yards. I have always had a creeping suspicion that they didn't like me because when I come over, they are super
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  • Is he cheating on you? I can confidently say he's not cheating on me. He just has this weird relationship / momma's boy thing going on that has always slightly bothered me. He literally
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  • goes out of his way to show his appreciation for them. Sometimes it's endearing, but sometimes, I feel like I'm on a back burner.
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  • Now. He said he understands where he went wrong and doesn't want me to feel like I'm the last option. Apparently he's been cancelling plans on them for a while so he felt bad when they
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  • expressed interest in going to dinner with him tonight - just them three. He said he actually made the plans with them yesterday but "forgot" to text me
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  • before I got all my stuff packed up. I'm still not satisfied with this response, so we'll have to talk in person after he enjoys his dinner with them. I will be putting my foot down about the mom and
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  • sister thing. Like seriously - his sister is older than me and he treats her like she is 9 years old. Thank you to all the women (and men) sharing their MIL / SIL / FIL stories. You've given me confidence to stand up for myself.
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  • Also, thank you for the laughs. I tend to make light of situations. Your concern brought me some joy today. I felt CRAZY but you all made me realize I need to stand up for myself right now.
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  • MysticEveClair NOR this is weird... Cancelling a romantic date to take his mom & sister instead with zero discussion?? That's not just inconsiderate it's straight up dismissive...Spending time with family is great but he could've made separate plans with them
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  • instead of pulling a last minute swap like you were never part of the equation... You have every right to be upset this wasn't a small change it was a complete disregard for your plans together
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  • Late_Cupcake750 NOR but is this how you want your future to be?
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  • sleepyHedgehog99 NOR, he made a commitment to be with you that night and he didn't respect it. Did his mother and sister know that he was supposed to go out with you? Because if they did, it's honestly weird they'd suggest to go in your place instead. They could've chosen any other day.
    via sleepyHedgehog99

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toxic-boyfriend boyfriend relationship advice relationship date romantic mother relationship-drama boyfriends relationships dinner date advice dinner romantic getaway love advice toxic relationship
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