Girl finally reunites with boyfriend after months of long distance, boyfriend's cousin inserts themself in on all their romantic plans: '[He] really makes me question our compatibility.

Author image for Baiz Hoen
Baiz Hoen
Jan 23, 2025 12:00 PM EST

Ahhh, the infamous Long Distance Relationship. They are not wrong when they say it is one of the greatest tests a relationship can endure. And boy, is it tough to endure. As much as it's important to experience being long-distance with a partner at least once in your life, I sure wouldn't wish it on anyone, especially at a young age. 

If you ever find yourself in a Long Distance Relationship, it's important to make the most of the moments when you are actually together. Depending on who you are and how you express your love, that might mean spending lots of quality time together or making grand romantic gestures to make up for all the time you can't spend making small gestures of love to each other. However you express your love, you should feel especially loved and prioritized when you are finally in person with your partner after being apart.

One girl took to Reddit when her reunion with her LDR boyfriend did not go as planned. The big romantic date they were supposed to go on for their anniversary gets completely thrown out the window when her boyfriend's cousin suddenly comes into town. Should she prioritize her own wants and needs and kick the guy to the curb? Or is this something they can make work?

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    Love days
    via hf_photography
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    "AITAH that I am mad that my LDR bf brings his cousin to join our very rare physical anniversary date night."

    Sorry it's a rather long passage, becos I'm trying to provide as much context as I could, so we can view this in more perception, try to be more fair, cos I really want to know what other rational people would think of this situation, or am I asking too much. Here we go~
    via Natly401
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    I told him a month in advance, before I even flew to the uk from Hong Kong, I wanna properly celebrate our 7th month anniversary together, like properly, flowers, dinner date, and more, cos we never did it before. We've been doing long distance for 5.5 months in our 7 months relationship. He said done.
    via Natly401
  • 04
    On the morning of the day, he called me and said he has a cousin that came from London, he can't just leave him aside, can we bring him on our date? I was upset and I told him, if it's a normal date, I won't even care, bring him. But it's our first proper restaurant date ever (cos he is a very picky eater, and always prefer to eat in due to long working hours, which I
    via Natly401
  • 05
    working hours, which I understand), plus it's our anniversary date, plus we are long distance couple, I'm leaving his country in one week time, we don't have much chances for quality romantic time. He said he understands, but his cousin is asking him abt dinner plans, and said he knows my bf would be tired after work and offered to cook, my bf said I'll be there too and he said it's fine he can cook for both of us, and he felt bad to just leave him. He ask me to just
    via Natly401
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    just leave him. He ask me to just tell him what to do, he would do what I say. At last, I compromised, I said I understand family is important, and more importantly I know if we left his cousin alone and we two go out for dinner date, for the entire 2 hours he would be worrying and feeling sorry for him, so I gave in.
    via Natly401
  • 07
    I said ok, for tonight, bring him, but u have to make it up to me and take me on a proper date. I don't even know why do I have to "beg" for a date, but yeah he said tonight with cousin, and tmr night we date, two of us, he said he will take care of his cousin. And then, at restaurant table, I was chatting with his cousin, I'm like oh my bf said u were gonna cook, do u enjoy cooking? What's ur
    via Natly401
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    enjoy cooking? What's ur specials? And he said he will cook for us tmr night, so clearly my bf did not tell his cousin abt our date plan. And now my bf is saying he will eat with me outside, come home and eat what his cousin make. I'm like huh?? And he said best of both worlds, don't see what the problem. At this point I'm already
    via Natly401
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    problem. At this point I'm already frustrated, as he said he would take care of it, but he didn't, and it's like same problem all over again.
    via Natly401
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    And it gets worse. At home, I showed him a jellycat bunny that hold flowers, as a gift for anniversary and plus the Valentine's Day that we can't spend together, cos I'm leaving in a week. (I know stuffed animals is not a tradition choice of gifts for men, but it's a thoughtful one cos there's 2 bears in his room, that The buy for himself, I asked him abt them before and he said he like stuffed animals cos they are cute and good for cuddle.) He
    via Natly401
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    cute and good for cuddle.) He literally asked me to return it.
    via Natly401
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    I also made him brownie and strawberries cut into the shape of hearts and he haven't even tasted it, he just saw it and say he doesn't like sweets, said we can give it to his cousin to eat it. But
    via Natly401
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    give it to his cousin to eat it. But then in the restaurant, he ate strawberry cake and Indian syrup b lls. After I point it out to him, he said, it's a joke, he will still eat it, I don't even know why I need to "force" my bf to try my brownie. Bro doesn't even know basics manners, nor romance. I
    via Natly401
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    basics manners, nor romance. I know it before, but this is just too much, I can't take it. I instantly look upset for his reactions toward my gifts, plus he literally only gave me flowers on our anniversary (flowers are good, I'm grateful, but he bought me flowers all the time, like it's not a special or anniversary occasion thing, mb I'm the ungrateful but what I mean is I cannot
    via Natly401
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    but what I mean is I cannot see the thought he put in this rare anniversary date) I point it out to him, that him not liking my gifts at all and his cruel reactions make me upset and he is like, come on, do u want a liar?
    via Natly401
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    And the end of the night, I look very upset, did not wanna talk, he said i gave permission of bringing cousin, I said yes, but things pile up, and it's more than just that, and he cried, saying very genuinely that he is only human, there is only one of him, he does not know what to do, he loves me, but I kept getting upset for no reason (even tho I told him all the reasons) he looked just like a helpless kid sitting there, and I started crying quietly too,
    via Natly401
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    internally I'm feel helpless too, cos I don't think I did anything wrong and my reactions aren't dramatic but very reasonable, I just suddenly felt like us two, who are deeply in love with each other are just not compatible, I know he tried, but maybe I want too much, but it's really not enough for me, which is so so sad. He can't stand seeing me cry, he came to hug and kiss me, and our fight ended as we started drifting and fell asleep.
    via Natly401
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    Now the next morning, I woke up, replaying everything in my head, and not sure if this relationship will really work out in the long term, which both of us are dating to marry.
    via Natly401
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    So now I need advice on how to communicate (to fix it) or why he doesn't deserve me (not worth fixing). Thank u guys so much!
    via Natly401
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    Read on for some LDR advice

    Cheezburger Image 10456918528
    via Leio McLaren
  • 21
    Girl, NTA, but you're giving way too many chances to someone who clearly isn't prioritizing you. Love isn't enough if he can't respect your boundaries or even try to make you feel special. You're not asking for too much-he's just giving you the bare minimum and calling it effort. Time to think if this relationship is actually giving you what you deserve.
    via Natly401
  • 22

    Succint, and to the point.

    I assume the cousin is an adult. NTA. He should have left the cousin home. That's all, really.
    via Natly401
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    You have been giving WAY more than you are getting in return, this entire time, and you have to stop. We should never be in this kind of imbalance in a relationship.
    via Natly401
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    It doesn't work, either, to try to make up for all of his issues and weaknesses by pouring more of yourself and your own effort and expense into it. All you do is teach him you can get along with little to no effort from him. He learned how to treat you this way, by you fixing everything and agreeing to everything up until now.
    via Natly401
  • 25
    This is either weaponized incompetence on his part, or actual incompetence. I don't have enough information to know which. It is BASIC that you need time together as a couple, and to receive heartfelt gifts with appreciation, and not to invite a third party on your anniversary dinner. Duh!
    via Natly401
  • 26

    Can someone find me a man like this?

    He is sabotaging your private time alone with him, probably because he doesn't feel the love in return but doesn't have the guts to say it. When a guy is really into you, when he wants you, you never have to question. He will make mountains move to get to you (not you paying to fly to him) and to be alone with you, to spend money on you, to be seen in public alone with you, to shower you with things you desire, and to have you to himself.
    via Natly401

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long distance boyfriend aita AITAH long distance relationship reddit story relationships Reddit relationship drama
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