Entitled mom demands that coworker swap vacation days with her to align with her kids' school break, he refuses having booked non-refundable tickets months ago: "Must be nice having so much flexibility"

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  • 01

    AITAH for refusing to switch my vacation dates because my coworker has kids?

    "Just because I don't have kids doesn't mean my time off is any less valuable."
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    I (30M) put in my vacation request months ago for a specific week. I made plans, booked flights, and was looking forward to it. Everything was approved by our manager with no issues.
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    Calendar
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    Last week, my coworker "Lisa" (35F) found out that her kids' school break falls during the same week. She came to me and asked if I'd be willing to swap
  • 05
    my vacation for a different time so she could take her kids on a trip. I told her I was sorry, but I had already made non-refundable bookings and didn't want to change my plans.
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    Cheezburger Image 10479727872
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    She got frustrated and said, "It must be nice to have so much flexibility," implying that since I don't have kids, my plans aren't as important. I told her that just because I don't have kids doesn't mean my time off is any less valuable.
  • 08
    Now she's giving me the cold shoulder at work, and another coworker mentioned that I "could've been more understanding." But I don't think it's fair to expect me to give up my plans just because she has kids.
  • 09
    H Respectfully NTA. She's delusional. Even if you show her receipts and show her how much it would cost you to reschedule she's still gonna dislike you. Just make sure to document everything in case she starts creating a hostile work environment
  • 10
    Bellatrix_dog This and am saying this as a mother, she had her kids school schedule since Aug 2024 at the latest. Her failure to plan isn't your problem...NTA
  • 11
    Practical-Bird633 This!!! Spring break is never casually decided the month before. Shes known or she doesnt pay attention enough to have known.
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    rosebudny No need to show receipts. Even if OP's trip was 100% refundable - they are under ZERO obligation to give up the time. Lisa did not plan well. That is HER fault, not OP's. Agree about documenting everything, in case Lisa tries to make things hard for you.
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    pretty_face_gf Just because you don't have kids doesn't mean you have more free time
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    LostinLies1 What flexibility? You booked your holiday and it is non refundable. If anything, this is completely non flexible.
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    rosebudny Even if the tickets were refundable - still zero obligation for OP to give up the time. Perhaps they are traveling with someone else who would then have to deal with switching around their own time off.
  • 16
    "No" is a complete sentence; OP doesn't owe Lisa an explanation. Her poor planning is not OP's problem.
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    meanderingwanderlost She's had the kids' schedule since the beginning of the school year and ample time to plan. The fact that she didn't is on her. NTA.
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    Complete Goose667 Actually, it's published at least a year in advance. She had time to plan, but chose not to.
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    Cheezburger Image 10479727616
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    Herdnerfer NTA, schools put out the calendar at the beginning of the school year. She's had months to take off at that time, not your fault she didn't bother until now.
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    Constant-Ad9390 You can be understanding if she is willing to pay your out of pocket costs. No, I thought not. Seriously school book holidays a year in advance her poor planing is not an emergency on your part. NTA (she is defo!)
  • 22
    tazz2500 This is what I was thinking. Tally up every single added expense you will incur due to changing your schedule, and ask her to pay the cost. Once she inevitably says that's an unreasonable ask, say "I'm glad we agree."
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    And by the way, this also includes back pay for all the days you asked off that you are no longer going on vacation, because of course you wouldn't have asked off and burned those days if you weren't going on your trip. So those now missed days of work must be payed by her too.
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    She's the one who dropped the ball by not planning ahead, not you, therefore she is the one required to be accommodating.
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    Well-Done22 NTA. Lisa was responsible for knowing when her kids have off school and request vacation days. She probably wasn't paying any attention but made all the promises to her kids, then found herself rushing last minute to pull it off. I'd tell her if she wants to refund you for the entire trip since you'd lose that money, she's welcome to the week. Otherwise, she can off.
  • 26
    SeaworthinessLow9705 Say to her "sure no problem, you refund me the costs of the flights, accommodation etc"?

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