'[My] husband declawed my cat behind my back and I want a divorce': Woman considers divorcing her husband of 3 years after he declawed her cat for scratching his fancy gaming chair

Author image for Mariel Ruvinsky
Mariel Ruvinsky • Writer and Editor
Mar 17, 2025 9:00 AM EDT

Cats are deal-breakers in relationships. If one of us has a cat, then that us and the cat are a package deal, and if you don't want to deal with the cat, then you don't get to deal with us either. It's as simple as that. And we have seen this deal-breaker play out in quite a few relationships at this point. We have seen everything from - boyfriends not being able to handle being 'second' to the cat because of their fragile egos, to boyfriends asking their girlfriends to choose between them and the cat, all the way to one boyfriend calling his girlfriend unhygienic because of the cat that she sometimes kisses on the forehead. 

But it's always a boyfriend, not a husband, and it's never quite as bad as what happened with the couple in this story. Usually, by the time you get to the "husband" phase, after having lived with the wife's cat for a while, after having built a relationship with it, then stuff like this doesn't happen. Or it shouldn't happen. You do not go behind your wife's back and hurt her cat… because he scratched your fancy new gaming chair. You just don't.

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  • 01
    My husband declawed my cat behind my back and I want a divorce because of it
    via Unsplash / Milada Vigerova

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • Truly, we don't know what we would do in this situation. We want to give the husband the benefit of the doubt and say that maybe he didn't know that what he was doing was wrong… except he clearly knew. If he didn't think it was wrong, he would not have gone behind your back. 

  • 02
    I have had my cat Scribbles for ten years. He has always been my buddy, following me around and sleeping with me, wanting to be held and talked to. When I was going through a major depre s on he was my only reason for getting up everyday, he literally wouldn't let me stay in bed, pulling my hair to make me get up and only eating when he saw I was. He means a lot to me and I love him dearly.
    via Significant-Yam4886
  • 03
    My husband and I have been together for three years, married for almost one. He has always known that scribbles and I are a package deal. Scribbles has never been hostile or aggressive towards him. My husband had always been good with Scribbles, played with him and gave him treats, petted him and referred to him as his boy.
    via Significant-Yam4886
  • 04
    Scribbles has always scratched furniture no matter what kind or how many scratchers and scratching posts Ive gotten him over the years. I just accepted this is how it is and the price of having him, no big deal. My husband would even egg Scribbles on when he starts scratching a chair or couch by saying "you're really giving that chair a piece of your mind, show it how tough you are". Just silly baby talk.
    via Significant-Yam4886
  • 05
    Fast forward to my husband buying this super expensive gaming chair. I warned him about spending so much money on something that might get messed up but he assured me it'd be fine. One night we got home and Scribbles had really done a number on it, the material showed a lot more than the fabric chairs and couch did. My husband was irate. Screaming at me and the cat and just in general. He eventually calmed down and I thought he'd gotten it out of his system, he'd never had an outburst like that
    via Significant-Yam4886
  • 06
    A couple weeks later I get home from work and cant find Scribbles, I get really worried and ask my husband where he is or if he's seen him. He told me Scribbles was fine and he was at the vet being declawed. I freaked out and called the vet to stop the procedure but it was too late.
    via Significant-Yam4886
  • 07
    I packed a bag, got Scribbles once he could be released and went to stay with a friend. I've not answered any calls or texts from my husband. I can't believe the man I married could mutilate my cat. My family and his are saying I'm overreacting and throwing my marriage away over an animal. That Scribbles is fine and lots of people get their cats declawed, that vets wouldn't do it if it was unsafe. I don't think I can stay with my husband but everyone is acting like I'm the crazy one here and I f
    via Significant-Yam4886
  • 08
    AITAH if I leave my husband and choose my cat over him? TLDR: husband declawed my cat behind my back and I want a divorce because of it, AITAH?
    via Significant-Yam4886
  • 09
    dabomin nikdo přikryl pokl vidit doli, netušil male ekal, te se mile kotniky ale mé nohy se ne věk mivá, když je mu ma sahá mi po patic
    via Unsplash / Milada Vigerova

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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  • 10
    Abaconings NTA. I'd leave. Declawing is NOT done by most vets because it is an inhumane procedure. It can have long lasting effects like arthritis. It's the equivalent of having the tips of all your fingers amputated. It is absolutely barbaric. I'm honestly shocked a vet agreed to do that to a 10 year old cat. The risks are so much higher with a senior kitty.
    via Abaconings
  • 11
    There are so many less extreme options you could have explored together. Simply clipping the sharp tips of a cat's nails periodically can greatly reduce the damage to furniture. He chose to take your beloved cat and have him surgically mutilated without even discussing it with you. To me, that is a serious betrayal. I'd never be able to trust him again.
    via Abaconings
  • 12
    As for your family, the cat is not "just" an animal to you. He is important to YOU. Basically, your husband chose a chair over you and poor Scribbles who means so much to you. Follow your instincts. It's also concerning that family members are so dismissive of your feelings. This whole ordeal has to be traumatic for you. I'd encourage you to obtain a therapist if you can to help you sort through things. HTH.
    via Abaconings
  • 13
    Significant-Yam4886 OP Declawing is legal where I'm from, just frowned upon by most vets and animals in general are considered disposable by a lot of people. My family has always said I was 'sensitive' and that I'm just being too emotional right now.
    via Significant-Yam4886
  • 14
    Cheezburger Image 10480750336
    via Unsplash / Milada Vigerova

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • We wholeheartedly understand how the wife would be devastated by this situation. Getting a divorce three years into a marriage is heartbreaking. But if the husband knew that what he was doing was wrong, if he went behind your back and hurt your cat… over a chair, then we can only imagine how he would treat future kids that you might have together. 

  • 15
    If Medusa_7898 your cat is microchipped and registered only to you, you can definitely sue the vet that did this.
    via Medusa_7898
  • 16
    Significant-Yam4886 OP He's not micro chipped but I'm going to get him one once he heals from this, I don't want to take him back to a vet right now if I don't have to and traumatize him further. I had added my husband to his vet file thinking I was doing what was best for Scribbles should something bad happen. Obviously he not as trustworthy as I thought he was.
    via Significant-Yam4886
  • 17
    Ornery_Improvement28 NTA and I'm so sorry this happened to you and Scribbles (LOVE the name btw). There are a few issues here. • no communication. Your husband didn't discuss this with you at all, he just went ahead and organised this life changing surgical procedure on his own.
    via Ornery_Improvement28
  • 18
    • no respect - you clearly adore this cat (I have fur babies and totally understand). Your husband, who you're meant to trust and who's meant to be your team mate in life, doesn't respect you enough to discuss this life altering decision with you • trust - he broke yours completely. Scribbles, your furbaby, is your core, special being and has been with you longer than your husband. Your husband inflicted unnecessary pain on Scribbles without consideration or consultation.
    via Ornery_Improvement28
  • 19
    Scribbles is your special little baby, and this was your decision, not his alone. He didn't even have the decency to discuss this with you first???? If you have kids in the future, what will he do with them? It's also about POWER AND CONTROL. Your husband took all the power and made sure you had none and that's not ok.
    via Ornery_Improvement28
  • 20
    Personally, I can't imagine ever trusting my husband again if he did this behind my back. And ignore those who aren't listening to you or validating your feelings. You're allowed to be upset and angry. Good luck and give Scribbles a big cuddle. Tbh I'm just glad he's alive. For a moment I thought your husband got rid of him. It's horrific what he did, but I'm glad Scribbles is safe with you now.
    via Ornery_Improvement28
  • 21
    Significant-Yam4886 OP I feel like Ive failed Scribbles, I just keep telling him how sorry I am.
    via Significant-Yam4886
  • 22
    Cheezburger Image 10480741376
    via Unsplash / Milada Vigerova

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 23
    boundaries4546 NTA. Have you googled what declawing a cat entails? It is ab ive and gruesome where I live. It's illegal to declaw cat. 100% back you for leaving him over this.
    via boundaries4546
  • 24
    Significant-Yam4886 OP I took Scribbles to an emergency vet, I didn't feel comfortable taking him back to his regular vet after this, they said the procedure was done correctly and there wasn't anything to be done at this point. Not that I thought there was but they explained what the procedure exactly was and gave me pain medication for him.
    via Significant-Yam4886
  • 25
    Cheezburger Image 10480740864
    via Unsplash / Milada Vigerova

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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