“You owe my stepkids an apology”: Estranged father attempts a connection with 16-year-old son after years of abandonment, son tells him and stepsiblings off when they try to convince him to join the family

Author image for Briana Viser
Briana Viser • Writer and Editor
Mar 17, 2025 5:00 PM EDT

Hey there internet goers. Having a child isn't like getting a dog, or a cat, or moving, or getting married. It's irreversible once you have the baby, and it's stuck with you until it's an adult. A lot of people think parenting will be a walk in the park, that with just a little love and tenderness the baby will grow up fine. It's far from a walk in the park, and takes a toll not only on the couple, but on each individual. Your relationship with your child evolves over the years, as well as with your partner. It's the biggest responsibility in the world and should never be taken with a grain of salt. 

Some people have children because they're bored, or they think it's the thing they're supposed to do in society. In reality, it's a really important decision and should never be handled with ease. If you're not up for eternal responsibility for someone else's life, then maybe parenting isn't for you. I, for one, never want a child. 

In the story below the protagonist has a dad who's not going to win father of the year with him. This man abandoned his son for his entire life, and now suddenly when the kid is 16 the father wants to be back in, but it doesn't work like that.

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  • 01

    AITA for losing my temper with my estranged father's stepkids who keep trying to bring me into their family?

    Cheezburger Image 10480780032
    via Mangostar Studio / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    I (16m but will be 17 this month) never met my father until a year ago. He bailed on my mom when she was pregnant with me and he left town and avoided child support for years. We live in a small town so I always heard about him and he and my mom had been a couple for like 10 years (14 to 24) and they were engaged and everything but apparently a kid was too much.
    via u/FinnisRace

  • This is story of a teenager really going through it. Life isn't fair, and this kid was dealt some difficult and heavy cards. Not only did his father abandon him at a young age, but not he's trying to manipulate him into have a relationship with him. If there's a full proof way to get his kid to run even further away from him, this is it. What a stupid man. 

  • 03
    His family wouldn't help my mom track him down and they acted all kinds of weird around me.
    via u/FinnisRace
  • 04
    I cared but not that much. My normal was just me and mom and nothing to do with my father's family. I love my mom. We're a good team and she gave me the best life she could. We didn't always have the most but she kept a roof over my head and I never had to go without food.
    via u/FinnisRace
  • 05
    She did it all without anything from my father. And she tried many times to get child support. Even got an agency involved to track him down but they said if he was working it wasn't officially.
    via u/FinnisRace
  • 06
    Cheezburger Image 10480778496
    via franckreporter from Getty Images Signature / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 07
    By the time I was 12 I had decided if my father ever changed his mind it would be too late. He didn't get to abandon me like that and come back full of regrets. I never expected it though. Not with how good he was at hiding and how weird his family was around me. They're the kind of people who are nice to
    via u/FinnisRace
  • 08
    mostly everyone but it was like they wanted to tell me to get the f away from them but they couldn't. Being from such a small town meant I couldn't avoid seeing them around either.
    via u/FinnisRace
  • 09
    But then a year ago my mom was contacted by my father reached out to tell mom he was moving back and wanted a relationship with me and would pay back all he owed her. I hated the idea but he showed up with a wife and like five stepkids. He acted like I was going to run out and throw myself at him or something and call him dad and stuff.
    via u/FinnisRace
  • 10
    Whenever I have talk to him I use his first name. I have shut down all attempts to have a relationship with me. He took mom to court and a judge wouldn't order parenting time but we are forced to attend reunification therapy together once a week until I turn 18. He doesn't let it stop him from trying to see me and trying
    via u/FinnisRace
  • 11
    to make spend time with him. He has apologized and talked about all the regrets he has and how stepping up for his wife's kids made him realize he f ed up and he wants a chance and all that kind of bulls.....
    via u/FinnisRace
  • 12
    But it's not just him. His wife has tried sometimes. She's a lot easier to avoid because her car stands out and I just go another way if I see it. But her kids? Two are close to my age and they are relentless. They approach me in school, in the library, at the diner where I work and even when I'm hanging out with friends. They told me
    via u/FinnisRace
  • 13
    how good of a dad my father was to them and how he really wants me in his life and how they think it'd be cool to have another brother. I told them I wasn't interested. I ignored them. I told them hearing all that sh about the guy who abandoned me wasn't making me more open to seeing him and it hurt.
    via u/FinnisRace
  • 14
    But they're team estranged father all the way and I guess he talks to his family about the therapy sessions because they bring up stuff from there when they try to get me to idk bond with them or agree to be their brother or whatever.
    via u/FinnisRace
  • 15
    Last Friday is when I might have gone too far. Maybe. I was working after school and they showed up with their three younger siblings and tried to talk about my father. My boss had to ask them to leave and warned them they wouldn't be allowed back in if they kept interrupting stuff. They waited for me and
    via u/FinnisRace
  • 16
    followed me to the library and sat at the table I was studying at. I had to leave after only 15 minutes because I couldn't concentrate. When we got outside I lost my temper and I told them to off and leave me alone. I didn't want to be their brother. I didn't want a relationship with their dad. I wanted them all to get the f
    via u/FinnisRace
  • 17
    away and go back to wherever they moved from and pretend they don't know me because I don't want to know any of them. Then I said my father could drop de d for all I care when the oldest (I think) told me how much it meant to my father. Then I said I'd rather be homeless on the streets than a part of their family.
    via u/FinnisRace
  • 18
    Cheezburger Image 10480779008
    via Oneinchpunch / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 19
    The younger kids were upset and the older two were both shocked and angry. I didn't stick around or apologize or try to say anything calmer. I just left. But people heard me and it was the talk of the town all weekend and my father blamed my mom. It came up in our therapy appointment yesterday and he's mad but still
    via u/FinnisRace
  • 20
    won't leave. He said it wasn't right what I did but he won't give up. He told me I owed his stepkids an apology and I'm not doing that. I ignored the stuff he said about why I needed to.
    via u/FinnisRace
  • 21
    But I know this is going to stay an issue and maybe I wasn't fair especially when there were younger kids right there. AITA?
    via u/FinnisRace
  • 22
    Ot... NTA. That's harassment. I would report to the judge and even police if I were you mother. That's not healthy for everyone.
    via u/Otherwise_Degree_729
  • 23
    How the f they explain the last missing 15 years if he is such a "great father"?
    via u/Otherwise_Degree_729
  • 24
    Maverick_j2k No. You tell them exactly how he makes you feel and how his wife and her kids refuse to learn and respect your boundaries. They harassed you at your JOB and at the library. Tell him all this in therapy. Down to him
    via u/Maverick_j2k
  • 25
    being a beat and his side of the family encouraging it and it has NOTHING to do with your mom.
    via u/Maverick_j2k
  • 26
    amara-glowW Absolutely NTA. You've been more patient than most people would be. Your dad and his new family are acting like you're a side quest they just unlocked, but you never signed up to play.
    via u/amara-glowW

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