“It’s not what it looks like”: 29-year-old man walks in on girlfriend and best friend in his apartment after coming home early, he texts everyone in their friend group to shame them for what they did

Author image for Briana Viser
Briana Viser • Writer and Editor
Mar 20, 2025 3:00 PM EDT

Cheating is so commonplace. It's destructive and terrible, confusing and traumatic. Why do people cheat? Everyone has their own reasons. Some people cheat because they're unhappy in their relationship, either physically or emotionally. Others cheat because they like the idea of hurting other people, and they do it out of spite and malice. And others cheat because they're looking for a new identity, and it sometimes has nothing to do with the person they cheated on. The effects are catastrophic usually. Self-sabotage is one of the effects in the aftermath of cheating. It's just a ridiculously stupid thing to do because it ultimately hurts the person who cheated. They have to live with what they've done, but they also will probably be single now. So why tell someone to their face how much you love them, and how you want to move in together, and in the same day go and do the sole thing that will ruin the relationship and drive them away?

In the story below, the protagonist and his girlfriend were trying to be the real deal. They had the discussions of the future, moving in together, and everything. That is until she's caught not only with another man, but with his best friend. Read the full story below for all the juicy details. 

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  • 01

    AITA for exposing my girlfriend and best friend at the worst possible moment?

    Cheezburger Image 10481253632
    via Denisfilm from Getty Images / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    So, this happened a few nights ago, and I'm still trying to process the mess.
    via u/AaronDelny
  • 03
    I (29M) had been dating my girlfriend (27F) for almost three years. She was the one, or so I thought. We were talking about moving in together, maybe even getting engaged in the next year. I had never had a single reason to doubt her loyalty.
    via u/AaronDelny
  • 04
    My best friend (30M), let's call him Jake, has been in my life since high school. We've been through everything together-college, breakups, job struggles-you name it. He was family to me. He was also really close with my girlfriend, but I never thought anything of it.
    via u/AaronDelny
  • 05
    Then, last weekend, I went out with some coworkers for drinks. I got home earlier than expected and walked into my apartment to find my girlfriend and Jake in my bed.
    via u/AaronDelny
  • 06
    At first, they didn't see me. They were laughing-not just hooking up, but giggling like a couple of teenagers. That part hit me even harder than what they were actually doing.
    via u/AaronDelny
  • 07
    Cheezburger Image 10481253888
    via MarkoNOVKOV from Getty Images / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • I can't understand the nerve of some people. Not only to cheat, but to cheat in your shared bed with your partner who you're supposed to love? Or to do it so blatantly. At least go somewhere else, and make sure your partner isn't going to catch you in bed together. 

  • 08
    I must have made a noise because my girlfriend turned and her face went pale. Jake just sat there, looking like he wanted to sink into the mattress. She immediately started crying, saying, "It's not what it looks like!" (which, like... really?)
    via u/AaronDelny
  • 09
    I was in shock. Total autopilot. I just backed out of the room and left.
    via u/AaronDelny
  • 10
    Here's where I might be the ah le. Instead of dealing with this privately, I called every single person in our friend group and told them exactly what I walked in on. I even texted her parents, because I knew they adored Jake and had always said he was like a second son to them.
    via u/AaronDelny
  • 11
    Now, my ex is telling me I ruined her life and that I should have handled it like an adult. Jake is saying I "blew things out of proportion" and that it was just a "drunken mistake." But honestly? I don't feel bad. They made their choices, now they can deal with the fallout.
    via u/AaronDelny
  • 12
    So, AITA for putting them on blast instead of keeping it private? Or did they deserve everything they got?
    via u/AaronDelny
  • 13
    Alinaafavv⚫9h ago ABSOLUTELY NTA. You walked into YOUR home and found YOUR best friend in the worst possible way. The fact they were not only cheating but laughing together like a happy couple makes it even worse...
    via u/Alinaafavv
  • 14
    Fancy_Average5440 • 9h ago Sorry to focus on the wrong part of the story, but why were they at YOUR place?
    via u/Fancy_Average5440
  • 15
    • Impossible_Buy 27... 9h ago NTA. Any decent person would not put themselves in an intimate situation unless they really wanted something to happen.
    via u/Impossible_Buy_2712
  • 16
    Cheezburger Image 10481249280
    via 1001nights from Getty Images Signature / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 17
    They can justify it all they want and gaslight you, but they did this to themselves.
    via u/Impossible_Buy_2712
  • 18
    LurkingAtU • 7h ago "We were talking about moving in together." "...walked into my apartment to find my girlfriend and Jake in my bed."
    via u/LurkingAtU
  • 19
    EyeFree3731 • 5h ago Your reaction was completely understandable given the situation. You were blindsided by two people you deeply trusted. While some might argue that handling it privately would have been more "mature,"
    via u/EyeFree3731
  • 20
    the reality is that emotions don't work like that. You didn't spread rumors; you reported facts. If the truth ruins their lives, that's on them not you.
    via u/EyeFree3731
  • 21
    Pale_Cranberry1502 • 9h ago NTA. There aren't kids involved, which would change everything. As long as that's the case, and they can't do for tat, go for it.
    via u/Pale_Cranberry1502
  • 22
    whittlingcanbefatal • 7h ago Why were they in your home if you don't live together?
    via u/whittlingcanbefatal
  • 23
    tokyo245 • 4h ago OP when people like them say that you "blew this out of proportion" and "should have handled this like an adult" what they're really saying is "I'm angry that you've made me face the
    via u/tokyo245
  • 24
    consequences of my actions". So n if they didn't want to get exposed and called out they shouldn't have done what they did end of.
    via u/tokyo245
  • 25
    You got nothing to feel sorry for. NTA
    via u/tokyo245
  • 26
    blonde1psp 2h ago NTA, they cheated, and my petty self would have done the same thing, cheating is not ok
    via u/blonde1psp

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