New mom wants pregnant sister-in-law to change her baby's middle name in case she wants to use it for a second child: 'The in laws googled our names and found the registry'

Author image for JR Atkinson
JR Atkinson • Writer and Editor
Mar 18, 2025 4:00 PM EDT

Names are curious things. They carry a lot of weight to them, even when we don't want them to. We might hate our names and spend our whole lives shaking them off. But our parents had a different idea. They probably spent a lot of time and energy picking out our names, making them meaningful, and getting excited to show them off to the world. Parents tend to give their children names with certain intentions in mind. They might want to honor a family member or an artist they love or carry on a part of their culture. 

All to say, a lot goes into naming a baby. So some new parents feel protective over their chosen names. Even though there is no such thing as 'dibs' when it comes to names, sometimes there's an understanding that within a family, you might not have a bunch of repeats. Can you imagine having 6 cousins named Olivia?

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    Cheezburger Image 10481529856
    via Unsplash+ (A. C.)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • That's what happened in this family when an inner family feud led to some drama about names. Commenters, though, were split on who was to blame in this name game. Read on for the story, see what you think, and weigh in in our comments section with what you think about it. 

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    AITA for not changing my baby's name just because SIL wants to use it in the future?

    Hello everyone! I am 6 months pregnant with my first daughter with my fiancé, who we will call Rex! I have a 7 year old son from a previous relationship. Rex's family does not like me. We have been unofficially no contact for 2 years. He has 3 young sisters, one of which just had a baby. Because of the no contact, I have only known about SIL's pregnancy for about 2 weeks.
    via u/dubsiepop
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    We've known we are having a girl since January and we picked out a beautiful name. The middle name happens to be his mom and SIL's middle name, just spelled differently. Rex and I considered not using the name, but after going back and forth between a few names, we stuck with it.
    via u/dubsiepop
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    SIL chose to be surprised with her gender. We knew it was a possibility that she could use the middle name to name her baby if it was a girl so we were preparing to either have an argument with ILs or change it. I was a little upset when I found out that SIL was
    via u/dubsiepop
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    pregnant because by that time, we had already decided the name and started telling people. Rex messaged MIL to let her know our choice for a name and said that if SIL wanted to use the same name, we didn't mind as it's spelled differently and we understand the meaning for them.
    via u/dubsiepop
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    SIL had a boy so I confirmed with Rex that we were okay to launch the name on my registry. Here's the kicker. The in laws googled our names and found the registry (before all this, MIL found it via google search and got upset that we were having a baby shower because she thinks I don't need one since I had my son 7 years ago). The registry was something along the lines of thank you for gifting to baby first and middle name.
    via u/dubsiepop
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    Rex gets a text from MIL, saying that SIL saw my registry (not sure the intention of looking it up as I know they weren't going to gift me anything) and she was upset because she wanted to use that name if she had a daughter.
    via u/dubsiepop
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    I don't want to change my baby's name. I understand that it's SIL middle name, spelled differently. But I didn't know she was pregnant when we chose it, and they ignored my entire pregnancy thus far. They did not congratulate us, they told us we could not have a baby shower to celebrate our daughter, they ignore our existence but then creep on my registry and flip out over the name.
    via u/dubsiepop
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    I told Rex that while I understand the sentiment behind the name, you cannot call dibs on a name and I don't think it's fair to ask me to change my baby's name when they haven't given me the decency to acknowledge me or my pregnancy. I literally have not talked to these people for 2 years.
    via u/dubsiepop
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    I have tried reaching out in the past and they snubbed me so I stopped trying. Then they do the passive aggressive stuff like stalk my registry and tell my fiancé that I don't need a shower because "I've experienced the joy of motherhood already" and "it's time to let SIL have a turn”.
    via u/dubsiepop
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    Rex is at a stand still and wants me to reconsider. I don't think I owe them anything. Am I the a h le for not changing my baby's name just because SIL wants to use it in the future?
    via u/dubsiepop
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    Commenters were unsure why they were so attached to this name in the first place.

    Thegetupkids678 • 7h ago ESH. On one hand you can choose to name your kid whatever you want, but I honestly find it super strange that you would use a name so closely associated to your MIL and SIL considering the
    via u/Thegetupkids678
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    HARIA EROS
    via Unsplash+ (A. C.)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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    state of your relationship. I wouldn't want a name that was so connected to someone I am no contact with as well as that would likely be used by my SIL considering it is her middle name.
    via u/Thegetupkids678
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    softanimalofyourbo... .7h ago NTA but I don't understand why you'd wanna use a name that was so close to the name of people who you obviously don't get along with personally.
    via u/softanimalofyourbody
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    throwAWweddingw... • 6h ago Why would you choose to use your SiLs name? Forget everything else, it's literally her middle name already and your MiLs who doesn't like you.
    via u/throwAWweddingwoe
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    This name already has a lot of history for 2 people who do not like you. I just don't get why you would choose it in the first place.
    via u/throwAWweddingwoe
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    I'm not normally on the side of calling dibs on a name, however when it's your own name and the name of your mother I think it's just tacky of a person to use it when they know you intend to pass it down to your own child.
    via u/throwAWweddingwoe
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    I mean is that really what you want the story of your daughters name to be, that it's a family name no one in the family wanted her to have including the 2 people currently holding it. I'm sure that will bring her nothing but pride (insert a lot of sarcasm). I'm beginning to wonder if there is a good reason they don't like you.
    via u/throwAWweddingwoe
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    Also while you can do what you want I have never been to a baby shower for a second child. It's considered incredibly greedy where I live even if there's a sizable age gap.
    via u/throwAWweddingwoe
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    HypnoWell 6h ago Reading over her past comments, she clearly hates her SIL and MIL, so why would she even consider Inaming her kid after them? She comes to Reddit to vent about these people, yet now she wants to name her kid
    via u/HypnoWell
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    after them? This feels like a deliberate attempt to stir up drama rather than a genuine choice. Very odd behavior, she might want to talk to someone because this isn't healthy.
    via u/HypnoWell
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    Farts_McGee • 6h ago What are you thinking? This is such a ridiculous own goal. It would be one thing if it were a name out of the blue but this one is already in use by family you don't like and who don't like you. YTA
    via u/Farts_McGee
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    yourshaddow3 • 6h ago YTA. You are using someone's name for your child and then graciously telling them you won't mind if they use it. When it's their name to begin with.
    via u/yourshaddow3
  • 25
    People like to say you can't own a name, I disagree. I think there are certain situations where you can absolutely own a name, and one of those is when it's your own name!!
    via u/yourshaddow3

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funny names long term relationship aita baby baby names pregnancy pregnancy announcement kids relationship-drama relationships couples names baby name pregnant Reddit naming nicknames name children
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