“You’re being cheap, it’s just dinner”: Man refuses to pay for friend’s lobster dinner at restaurant, with his female friends backing him up, leading to embarrassment and friendship fall out

Author image for Briana Viser
Briana Viser • Writer and Editor
Mar 21, 2025 6:00 PM EDT

Our friends may or break our lives in many ways. Our relationship with our friends are not unlike our relationship with family members or partners. In all of them, there should be love, respect, and communication. Sometimes our friends get on our nerves the way a partner would, where they can just say one thing and you find yourself fighting with them about their life choices, or differing perspectives. I know I definitely have friends that can send me one text and I can be spiraling in a rage about them. Maybe that means something, maybe it doesn't. The point is that if you do fight with your friends, it's completely normal and probably just means you both really care for each other. No friendship is going to be perfect, and it's how you handle the chaos and pugnacious fights that will make or break the relationship in the end. 

In the story below, two friends have a squabble about differing views on paying the restaurant they had dinner at. One friend wants to order a luxurious lobster, while the others order reasonable items. The lobster friend insists that everyone split the bill, but the other's refuse. 

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  • 01

    AITAH for not splitting the bill when my friend got lobster?

    "We always split the bill"
    via Foxys_forest_manufacture from Getty Images Pro / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    so last weekend me (21m) and my friends (i'm giving fake names so jake (22m), sarah (21f), lisa (21f)) hit this seafood joint we been hyping up. not crazy fancy, lowkey affordable for us working students. i figure we're all keeping it chill, i got crab cakes for $20,
    via u/KissMeCherub
  • 03
    sarah and lisa get normal stuff too, like $15-18 plates. then jake goes "OH H L YEAH lobster tail $85!" and orders it. i asked him if that's what he really wanted cause that's expensive as h I and i don't think we could cover for him if ever. he said yes don't worry. i don't say sh, thinking he's got it covered.
    via u/KissMeCherub
  • 04
    dinner's cool, he's flexing his lobster, whatever. bill comes... $185. i'm like ok my share's maybe $25 with tip. but jake's all "so $46 each?" and i'm WHAT. his lobster was $85! i say "nah man i'm not paying for that, i'll do $25." sarah and lisa back me up, they weren't splitting either. jake
    via u/KissMeCherub
  • 05
    gets, says "we always split, you're being cheap, it's just dinner." dude it's triple my food! i stick to my guns, we all pay separate, but he's acting like i ruined everything. says i embarrassed him. texted me later all salty about it.
    via u/KissMeCherub
  • 06
    Cheezburger Image 10481720064
    via grafvision from Getty Images / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 07
    i kinda get it, splitting's simpler and i coulda just ate the cost, but $85 vs $20 feels wild to me. did he really just expect us all to split with him after he saw us order cheaper food??? he even KNEW we can't cover that much for him. now he's barely talking to us and i'm sitting here like... were we the ah_les? should we have just paid it to keep the vibe good?
    via u/KissMeCherub
  • 08
    Pimpnameslickba... • 16h ago Jake's TA for ordering an $85 meal and expecting others to help pay for it
    via u/Pimpnameslickback64
  • 09
    Kooky-Situation3... • 16h ago NTA He said don't worry, he knew what he was doing. I'd imagine this isn't his first time mooching.
    via u/Kooky-Situation3059 u/Kooky-Situation3059 avatar Kooky-Situation3059 u/Kooky-Situation3059 Sep 20, 2023 1 Post karma 2,388 Comment karma What is karma? Follow Start Chat
  • 10
    Mysterious-Essay... • 16h ago NTA. Ditch Jake, he's sulking because his attempt to guilt trip into paying for him didn't work.
    via u/Mysterious-Essay-860
  • 11
    CrowdControl_1 • 16h ago Honestly, if I wanted to pay for a lobster, I'd just go out and buy one myself! Next time, Jake should consider bringing his own personal bank to dinner.
    via u/CrowdControl_1
  • 12
    Individual-Cherry... 16h ago . NTA. you guys warned him that you couldn't split it, which is why you assumed he's got it covered so you let him be. now he's all pred that you couldn't help him pay? he's
    via u/Individual-Cherry759
  • 13
    Dipshitistan • 16h ago Splitting bills equally is pretty stupid unless everyone's bill would be within like $10 of one another's. NTA for not doing it here.
    via u/Dipshitistan
  • 14
    limelee666 16h ago Point out to your friend that all of you could have ordered lobster, and his bill would have been what it was.
    via u/limelee666
  • 15
    Ironyismylife28 • 17h ago NTA and stop splitting bills
    via u/Ironyismylife28
  • 16
    AdFresh8123 11h ago Jake reminded me of an ah le coworker group I had once when I was a very young new manager.
    via u/AdFresh8123
  • 17
    I was recently promoted to salaried management, making far less than everyone else, and was at a different location for training.
    via u/AdFresh8123
  • 18
    Thank You & Please Come Again Sexn Shony Rodin House कभ
    via rick734's Images / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • This man new before he ordered the lobster that his friends weren't going to supplement the payment, so why did he expect it? They explicitly said they wouldn't. This just seems like a ridiculous thing to fight about with friends. 

  • 19
    I was married with two kids and was on a really tight budget. I was making less money short term, as I had to give up a PT side job when I got promoted to salary.
    via u/AdFresh8123
  • 20
    This management group went to lunch every week to a really nice place. I could barely afford the cheapest item on the menu. That wasn't an issue for anyone else, though, and they typically ordered much more expensive items and got drinks to boot. Their part of the bill was 2 or 3 times what mine was.
    via u/AdFresh8123
  • 21
    They fully expected me to split the cost "evenly" and were shocked when I refused to. I even had my job threatened with a bad training evaluation for not being a "team player."
    via u/AdFresh8123
  • 22
    I flat out told them there was nothing in my job description that required me to get fed over. And I sure as hol wasn't going to fund them drinking on the job, which was an automatic termination offense. I paid my fair share and told them not to worry, I wasn't going to rat them out.
    via u/AdFresh8123
  • 23
    I didn't get invited the next week, what a surprise. I ended up covering the entire store solo for almost two hours while they were gone. I debated dropping a dime on them to the store manager right then. He was off that day, which is the only reason they pulled this stunt.
    via u/AdFresh8123
  • 24
    When they came back, I told my training manager I had no issue not being included for lunch. But, if I was left being the only manager in the store again while they took a lunch twice as long as they were allowed to, I'd be calling their store manager and the ethics hotline.
    via u/AdFresh8123
  • 25
    He told me it would be my word, a brand new MIT, against all six of them, managers with an average of 10 or more years with the company.
    via u/AdFresh8123
  • 26
    I showed him a tape of the security camera footage I'd already made a copy of. I told him it showed them all leaving and coming back with time stamps. I informed him that several department managers were sick of their sh and would also verify they weren't in the building.
    via u/AdFresh8123
  • 27
    I also grabbed the bill from the restaurant the week before, showing everything on it, including the booze. I reminded him I was a Marine vet, knew how to cover my a, and wasnt going to let someone f me over. He turned pale and stomped off.
    via u/AdFresh8123
  • 28
    The following week, I didn't get invited, but they left another manager behind with me. They were back exactly an hour after they left. I was treated like a leper for the rest of my time there. I was already fairly competent in my job. The last few bits and pieces I needed to learn,
    via u/AdFresh8123
  • 29
    I learned from the department managers. This went on for another month until I went back to my home store. I got an outstanding evaluation when I left, too. I kept in contact with a couple of the department managers I'd befriended.
    via u/AdFresh8123

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