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"This cat had me convinced she was a stray for 3 years!!"
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At some point, you have to listen to the cat. It is very clear that this beautiful fluffy kitty has chosen a new human, and it is just as clear that its owner - the neighbor - does not much care about where she goes or does not go. Maybe it's time to listen to her and talk to the owner.
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This is our concern. If the owner was particularly worried about her, we think that they would have reacted differently to the conversation that you have already had with them, but… maybe we are wrong. Either way, a second discussion with this owner is in order. And we humbly ask for an update.
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