16-year-old refuses to forgive mom for prioritizing her affair partner’s kids over her own bio kids despite pressure from therapist: “She let us down so many times”

Author image for Ely Bulnes
Ely Bulnes • Writer and Editor
Mar 21, 2025 8:00 PM EDT

Noawadays, everyone and their grandmother has a therapist. It's not because society is sick or anything; it's just that most people can actually stand to benefit from therapy. There used to be a strong social stigma against seeing a specialist; the perception was that a"shrink" was only for those with serious mental health issues. However, speaking with someone trained in understanding human emotions can help you connect with yourself better, learn techniques to ease stress and anxiety, and become a better communicator. Unfortunately, some therapists get too caught up and invested in their patients' lives.

In our story today, a 16-year-old finds himself pressured by his therapist to forgive his mother for abandoning him in favor of her affair partner's family. Our protagonist is understandably hurt by the events of his childhood, especially as her favoritism towards the other children led to her ignore health issues in her own biological son. Scroll down below to read the full story. 

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  • 01
    Mom prioritized her affair partner's children.
    via Lesli Whitecotton from Pexels
  • 02
    Two years ago my dad, my brother (13m) and I (16m) found out mom was having an affair. It shouldn't have surprised any of us. For over two years she was always busy and let us down so many times. She was so involved before. But she stopped
    via u/Livid-Molasses4926
  • 03
    showing up and supporting me when I was competing in swimming and she stopped asking about it, she flaked on me every time I wanted to do our record store browse which we did since I was 5 and she never said no before. She dropped the cooking classes she did with my brother and didn't
    via u/Livid-Molasses4926
  • 04
    show up for his talent shows (he's a musician). I have asthma and she stopped answering calls from the school nurse to pick me up. My dad had to leave work a bunch of times and it p ed him off because mom was a SAHM and I was one of her reasons. But she didn't even take that seriously.
    via u/Livid-Molasses4926
  • 05
    It turned out when she was busy doing stuff it meant she was busy cheating or playing mom to the guys two kids. She was bonding with them and filling in for the mom they didn't have. She put them before her own kids. Not just the guy she cheated with, but those kids too.
    via u/Livid-Molasses4926
  • 06
    Cheezburger Image 10483054336
    via Yuganov Konstantin

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 07
    The whole thing makes me so angry. When we found out I thought she was disgusting for all of it. She didn't just cheat on dad but she was picking the guys kids over her own. She prioritized her affair and the children the affair partner had.
    via u/Livid-Molasses4926
  • 08
    Mom denied that she did it and she told me and my brother she hadn't cheated on us. And she told us we shouldn't hate her or pull away from her when the adult business, meaning her marriage, wasn't our business.
    via u/Livid-Molasses4926
  • 09
    When my parents first started their divorce we were ordered by a judge to stay with mom 50% of the time. I hated it. She tried to integrate us with the guy and his kids but I made it clear I'd never accept them. Mom asked us to give them a chance and she forced us all to hang out as if we were some kind of
    via u/Livid-Molasses4926
  • 10
    family, which is a joke. By the time the divorce was over the judge said I didn't need to see her that much and I only need to go one weekend a month. And as of last month the judge said I still need to go once a month and being 16 doesn't mean I get to stop going like I want.
    via u/Livid-Molasses4926

  • Our protagonist's mother has no respect for her own children. Ignoring nurse calls from the schools is the worst offense on this list of disappointments. Our protagonist has no reason to forgive.

  • 11
    For the past year my mom has started to realize how much I hate her now and she tries to reach out and fix it. I reject her every time and I have called her names and told her to stay away from me. I told her she's gross and I want nothing to do with her.
    via u/Livid-Molasses4926
  • 12
    Her affair partner (who she's now married to) tried to berate me for talking to her like that and I told him he's nothing to me so why would I care about his opinion.
    via u/Livid-Molasses4926
  • 13
    He wants me and my brother to never go to the house because we make his kids feel bad by refusing to spend time with them and avoiding them. So mom tried to talk to me and she begged me to forgive her and she told me she'd do anything. I told her it'll never happen. I said she
    via u/Livid-Molasses4926
  • 14
    chose another persons kids over us and we remembered that. I told her she was with those random a children when I needed her. She left me in school with breathing issues so she could play mommy to another woman's kids. I told her she destroyed our family, broke dad's heart and around failed as a mother when she was and she needed to accept her choices cost her us.
    via u/Livid-Molasses4926
  • 15
    Mom said she wanted to make it up and I said unless she took it all back and didn't put those kids first then she couldn't. She broke down and told me I wasn't being fair and she was a good mother for a lot longer than she was a slightly absent one.
    via u/Livid-Molasses4926
  • 16
    The topic came up in therapy and my therapist pushed me to forgive and reconcile with my mom. I don't really like her because she's really pushy about that stuff and has spent all the time we've
    via u/Livid-Molasses4926
  • 17
    Cheezburger Image 10483054592
    via fotostorm

  • This therapist is completely out of line! She is supposed to help our protagonist understand his feelings, not pressure him into doing something that she perceives to be morally right. 

  • 18
    been in these sessions telling me I only have one mom and to remember the good. Dad wanted me to change therapist but mom blocked it because she's hoping this lady will make me have a change of heart.
    via u/Livid-Molasses4926
  • 19
    But the therapist is really pressing it and I know she's a professional. I just don't want the stuff she mentions about having a family and accepting mom for who she is and all that cr p. AITA?
    via u/Livid-Molasses4926
  • 20
    SwagDog107 NTA, she shouldn't be making you feel bad for her mistakes and you shouldn't adjust, but just because she want to play mom with her new family.
    via u/SwagDog107
  • 21
    Tfuentexxx your therapist OP. Forgive when you are mentally ready for it and never, NEVER, forget. Find a therapist who helps you deal with your issues, not your mother's problems and regrets.
    via u/Tfuentexxx
  • 22
    F that therapist. Your mom blocked the change, then don't engage with this lady, ignore her. If this therapist is really pressing you to do something, then she is not professional, stop calling her that.
    via u/Tfuentexxx
  • 23
    kindaright-ish I'd tell the therapist that unless she has a time machine where OPs mum can go back and answer the schools calls during an asthma attack, attend his swim meets, brothers talent shows and cookery classes, then reconciliation is off the table.
    via u/kindaright-ish
  • 24
    Just because we have one mum doesn't mean that the mother in question is absolved from any hurt they've caused. It doesn't matter if she was a good mum longer than when she wasn't, she still chose to prioritise you and your brother second to her now stepkids.
    via u/kindaright-ish
  • 25
    Serenaa Bliss Exactly. She made her choices and now she has to deal with the consequences. You're not obligated to adjust just because she suddenly wants to play mom again on her terms..
    via u/SerenaaBliss
  • 26
    Nta. Basic Rabbit4 Your therapist is being unethical. Pushing you into a reconciliation is messed up. You could probably make a formal complaint against her based on that.
    via u/BasicRabbit4
  • 27
    NTA repthe732 And just curious, any chance your mom has any personal connections to this therapist? Maybe it's a friend of a friend or her own therapist?
    via u/repthe732
  • 28
    FakeTooth Accurate This feels SO LIKELY. Why else would any therapist have an agenda with a random kid? And why would mom be SO adamant that they can't change therapists? It all smells shady to me
    via u/FakeToothAccurate

Tags

family drama affair childhood therapy motherhood relationships parenting raising teens cheating divorce cheater love family infidelity Reddit parents
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