Employee insists on bringing his girlfriend on a work trip, only for coworkers to shut him down and refuse to let her come: ‘She’s not part of the team, and this isn’t a vacation’

Author image for Bar Mor Hazut
Bar Mor Hazut • Senior Editor
Mar 24, 2025 5:00 PM EDT

We all understand how hard it is to maintain a normal work-life balance, and how many sacrifices we have to make while attempting to do so. More often than not, we find ourselves giving up on important milestones at home for the sake of our jobs, or vice versa, missing opportunities at our jobs for the sake of those who are waiting for us back at home. There is no perfect recipe for a balanced life, we just have to improvise as we go and hope for the best on both fronts.

Realistically, what ends up happening, are stories like the one down below, in which people completely lose it. Instead of making informed decisions that separate their work life from their private life, they try and mix the two together, which unsurprisingly leads to a disaster.

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  • The team in the story below was caught off guard by their coworker's request to bring his girlfriend on their work business trip. Even though he insisted he'd pay for all of his girlfriend's expenses, his coworkers still felt like it was an odd thing to ask for, and definitely a bit unprofessional.

    However, when the rest of the team told this coworker that they thought it was a bad idea for his girlfriend to tag along, he did not take it well. This surely proves this guy's work-life balance is hanging by a thread.

    The opinions about the team's reaction to their coworker's request are split, so please keep scrolling to read the full story, and let us know what you think in the comments below.

     

  • 01
    Cheezburger Image 10484543488
    via LuckyBusiness

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 02

    "AITA for refusing to let my coworker’s girlfriend come on our work trip?"

    I work in a pretty tight-knit sales team, and a couple of times a year, we go on work trips to different cities for networking and client meetings. It's a mix of work
    via opalstargaze82
  • 03
    and team bonding, but it's still a professional trip. One of my coworkers, Jake, has been dating this girl, Sophie, for about six months.
    via opalstargaze82
  • 04
    She doesn't work with us, has nothing to do with our industry, and from what I can tell, she just really doesn't like being away from him. She's shown up to a few of our
    via opalstargaze82
  • 05
    work dinners (that are meant for the team), and it's been awkward because no one else brings their partners. We have a trip coming up, and last week, Jake asked if
    via opalstargaze82
  • 06
    Sophie could come along. I was confused at first, so I asked if she had business. there or something, and he just said, "No, she just wants to come with me and make a
    via opalstargaze82
  • 07
    trip out of it." I told him it didn't really seem appropriate since this is a work trip, and having someone's girlfriend tagging along changes the whole dynamic.
    via opalstargaze82
  • 08
    He got annoyed and said he'd pay for her flights and hotel, so it's not like she'd be on the company's dime. I said that's not the issue—she's not part of the team, and this isn't a
    via opalstargaze82
  • 09
    vacation. He kept pushing, and I finally just said, "Look, I don't think it's fair to the rest of us to turn this into a couple's trip." Now he's upset and acting like I'm being unreasonable. AITA for shutting this down?
    via opalstargaze82
  • 10
    opalstargaze82 OP Alright, just to clear some things up: 1. This isn't my decision alone. The whole team agrees that it's weird and unprofessional. I just happened to be the one who told him no.
    via opalstargaze82
  • 11
    2. No one else has ever brought a partner, not even the married coworkers. 3. It's not like we're staying in luxury resorts. These trips are long days of meetings, networking events, and work dinners. There's barely time
    via opalstargaze82
  • 12
    to explore, so I don't get why she even wants to come. 4. If it was a casual weekend trip with coworkers, I wouldn't care. But this is a work thing.
    via opalstargaze82
  • 13
    I don't dislike Sophie, but it's been clear for a while that she has some boundary issues. She's come to lunch with us before and just sat there on her phone the whole time. No
    via opalstargaze82
  • 14
    one else brings their significant other to work-related stuff. Jake can do whatever he wants in his free time, but this just doesn't feel appropriate.
    via opalstargaze82
  • 15
    Pseudo-Data I think you missed a good opportunity to have a needed conversation; *let's talk about Sophie for a few minutes. If she wants to come along on her own, I certainly can't stop her however, this is a work trip.
    via Pseudo-Data
  • 16
    You will be expected to be present at, and involved in X,Y & Z, Sophie will not be welcomed to attend these events, so I don't know that you will have much time to spend with her while we are out there.
    via Pseudo-Data
  • 17
    In the past, you've invited. Sophie along on some team dinners. This is not okay and will not be accepted going forward. While these are after hours social dinners, they are meant for, and restricted to, the team. Should we decide to
    via Pseudo-Data
  • 18
    host an event where SOs are welcomed, that would be communicated at the time. So, going forward, unless it is specified that SOs are welcomed, do not invite her to join us.'
    via Pseudo-Data
  • 19
    This conversation should have happened the first time Sophie showed up at a team dinner. You need to set some boundaries with Jake, Jake needs to set some boundaries with Sophie.
    via Pseudo-Data
  • 20
    Cheezburger Image 10484543744
    via yuriz

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 21
    Ordinaryflyaway This is already a mess and should have been nipped immediately. Completely unprofessional and needs to be addressed. I can't believe this was allowed to begin with.
    via Ordinaryflyaway
  • 22
    C4ttitude_0 NTA! Next thing you know, Jake will want to bring his dog too, and we'll be holding team meetings in a dog park.
    via C4ttitude_0
  • 23
    curlyhairweirdo NTA but if he's paying for her flight and stay and she isn't interrupting work meeting you don't get a say on whether or not she travels. If he wants to spend what little free time he has with her on this trip, you don't get a say.
    via curlyhairweirdo
  • 24
    unlovedinlove Who accompanies him in the trip and stays at the hotel is not your responsibility, Nor is it the companies mandate, however If she comes along and does her own thing without disrupting client dinners, that is not something you can or should stop.
    via unlovedinlove
  • 25
    Turdulator I've taken my wife on work trips before.... But guess who never saw her, or didn't even know she was there? Yeah, my coworkers.
    via Turdulator
  • 26
    AnimatorDifficult429 Are you his boss? This really isn't your call imo. I used to travel a lot for work and while it was rare that a partner would come, once in a while they would. My husband came once since it was somewhere nice and then we stayed a few days after.
    via AnimatorDifficult429
  • 27
    SafeWord9999 Jake. This is a work trip. Not a vacation and not time with your girlfriend. If you can't accept this we will have to have a performance review on your expectations both in the workplace or at workplace events, functions or trips. Does it need to come to this Jake?
    via SafeWord9999

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