Domineering mother-in-law insists her 1-year-old grandson and DIL travel 22 hours on train for family wedding, daughter-in-law refuses and books a flight instead: “We’re all making ourselves uncomfortable for what then?”

Author image for Briana Viser
Briana Viser • Writer and Editor
Mar 27, 2025 12:00 PM EDT

"Marriage is what brings us together today," said that strange pastor in the iconic 1987 movie Princess Bride. Marriage is usually what brings people together, people who would not normally be drinking and dancing and spending a weekend together. It doesn't just bring in each side of an individual's family, but it brings in separate families as well. I know for myself, it's one thing to have a party with my mom's side of the family as well as my dad's, but it's entirely different if there are two more families involved. I'm surprised weddings even exist like this in tradition. I bet there are loads of stories of things not going well though, there's bound to be tension when so many different groups have to come together for sometimes more than one night. 

In the story below, the protagonist is going to her in-law's family's wedding. Her BIL and SIL have weddings, and they all have to travel far. It's a 22 hour train ride, or a flight. Seeing as the protagonist and her husband just had a baby a year ago, they oft for the more comfortable and shorter of the two options, but not before her MIL makes a fuss about it. 

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  • 01

    AITA for telling my husband to book a hotel for us while we attend my SIL's wedding, rather than share accommodations with his family?

    "I don't want to be in a confined space with my in- laws for that long"
    via Ivan Samkov from Pexels / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    My husband and I are going to be traveling soon to attend his sister's wedding along with our one year old son. The plan was that we would land at his parent's place and attend one of the wedding ceremonies there. A few days after that, there's another wedding reception in my SIL's soon-to-be husband's city. My in-
    via u/LargeChallenge6242
  • 03
    laws plan to book a few train compartments for the entire family, and an airbnb for the stay there (2-3 days).
    via u/LargeChallenge6242

  • This mother in law sounds like a nightmare. She selfishly just wants her grandson and DIL to be greatly uncomfortable to have a plaything on the train. Is she so out of touch with how a 1-year-old behaves that she doesn't realize the headache he'll be after 22 hours on a train? Just imagine the tears. 

  • 04
    I really don't want to be in a confined space with my in-laws for that long, especially with my son. My in-laws and I used to be cordial with each other until my son was born. A few weeks after delivery, my MIL and SIL visited us to "help". All they did was just find any opportunity to hold him,
    via u/LargeChallenge6242
  • 05
    regardless of whether he was asleep or in my arms, criticizing me for being too clingy with him. when I would put my foot down and basically started locking myself in my room with him, lament how poor my cooking was and how sorry they felt for their poor son/brother who had to endure it, until both my husband
    via u/LargeChallenge6242
  • 06
    TALIUNGE ROLLI 12A DEQWARTME BALD 29 Penelope
    via Darcy Lawrey from Pexels / Canva

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  • 07
    and I had had enough and my husband hinted heavily that they had overstayed their welcome. Since then, I get hounded for not sending enough pictures and videos of him, and how I dress him. I'm so grateful we're far enough away that we see them rarely.
    via u/LargeChallenge6242
  • 08
    I told my husband a couple of days ago that I'd rather we just fly from his parent's place to the other city and just stay at a hotel while we attend the second ceremony. My husband said that would make us look snobbish, that he himself wasn't over the moon about the whole itinerary but it was a family event and we
    via u/LargeChallenge6242
  • 09
    should be with family. The fact that he wasn't into it frustrated me even more because like we're all making ourselves uncomfortable for what then? We got into an argument, his mother and sister's stay got rehashed and I told him he was choosing to make me uncomfortable rather than potentially risk his family being affronted. AITA?
    via u/LargeChallenge6242
  • 10
    Cheezburger Image 10485116160
    via TUBARONES PHOTOGRAPHY from Pexels / Canva

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  • 11
    Update: After reading the comments in my original post I had decided that taking the flight with my son rather than the train was non- negotiable. And I hoped to convince my husband for the 3 of us to stay at a hotel.
    via u/LargeChallenge6242
  • 12
    I brought up the topic with him again, and said that a 22 hour train ride wasn't fair to our son, he's been doing really well recently with his sleep cycle and messing that up for my in-laws sake wasn't right, regardless of what they ended up thinking. I was firm about it. He finally
    via u/LargeChallenge6242
  • 13
    agreed. I thought it meant my son and I would be taking the flight and my husband the train, but he said he'd be taking the flight with us. He said the long train ride would be horrible for him without us, and that his family would bring up me taking the plane and he didn't want to be around for that. I was really happy and
    via u/LargeChallenge6242
  • 14
    decided to bring up hotel accommodations and he agreed to that too, saying that his family were already going to be mad at us for taking the flight, so at this point, we might as well make ourselves comfortable.
    via u/LargeChallenge6242
  • 15
    When he told his parents about this, they did not take it well. My MIL complained about how everyone was looking forward to playing with and entertaining our son, that it was a family event and it wouldn't be fun without us. She even suggested to him that I could take the plane and my husband and son take the train,
    via u/LargeChallenge6242
  • 16
    but my husband shut that down, said that our son doesn't react well to having his normal routine disrupted and we'd see them. there.
    via u/LargeChallenge6242
  • 17
    So that's that. This has been such a weight off my shoulders! Since we're taking the flight, we'll be there a day before everyone else and can tour the city by ourselves. I also hope we can avoid having to go to the airbnb for everything.
    via u/LargeChallenge6242
  • 18
    Like they're going to expect us to have breakfast/lunch/dinner with them but I'll rather we do our own thing for the meals (at least breakfast). But still this has been such a relief. Thank you to all those who gave me advice in the original post.
    via u/LargeChallenge6242
  • 19
    Fredredphooey • 12h ago NTA and wow. MIL wants a 1 year old on a 22 hour train ride for her own entertainment? Tell her to rent a baby or get a dog. Insanity.
    via u/Fredredphooey
  • 20
    No one in their right mind would be OK with 22 hours on a train with a baby unless it was absolutely unavoidable-- like if you were fleeing the country.
    via u/Fredredphooey
  • 21
    _gadget_girl • 12h ago NTA Make it crystal clear to MIL that access to your son involves being polite and respectful towards his mother. Otherwise she is looking at years of very limited contact. She needs to understand that her current methods are backfiring on her badly.
    via u/_gadget_girl
  • 22
    Suchafatfatcat • 12h ago They thought your son would be their entertainment. I'm glad your husband came around for your sake and your son's.
    via u/Suchafatfatcat
  • 23
    Laquila 12h ago Glad to hear you have a husband with common- sense, and who prioritizes his family over his extended one. The thought of a 22- hour train ride makes me cringe. I once took a 10-hour train trip and it left me shattered the next day. But I
    via u/Laquila
  • 24
    was 20 years old and didn't have a baby with me! A baby whose routine has been messed up and is cranky, is not entertaining. And it's cruel to the child to expect that of them.
    via u/Laquila
  • 25
    Don't go to the AirBnB for everything. One meal, like lunch, or whatever suits baby's routine, is enough. Dinner would have to be very early so you can go back to the hotel, wind down from the overstimulation, and get into the bedtime routine.
    via u/Laquila

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