'I don't like you, can you please leave': Mean 31-year-old woman interrupts her ex-coworkers birthday party and asks to be recommended at her new job, freaks out when she bluntly asks her to leave

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Senior Editor
Mar 24, 2025 1:00 PM EDT

I love running into someone from my past. One time, I was walking in the West Village, and a guy I did Legally Blonde The Musical with when we were 17 got out of an Uber and ran up to me in recognition. Those interactions can be so fun because you quickly get to see what they are doing at that exact moment, maybe where they are living and what their job is, and that's it. It's fun running into a random past acquaintance when the interaction takes three minutes or less, but if they try to tag along with what you're doing or push it to hang out with them in the future ("We should totally catch up some time" is usually a lie, Thank God) it ruins the novelty of meeting up randomly by happenstance. There are always exceptions, but for the most part, that is my rule. 

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  • The woman in this story didn't run into someone from her distant past but rather a coworker from a job she left in January. Instead of awkwardly smiling at each other and moving on, the ex-coworker boldly asked for a recommendation at her new job, even though they didn't get along.

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    Cheezburger Image 10485185792
    via Katrine Lucas

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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    AITA for publicly telling my ex coworker that I don't like them?

    I (32f) ran into an excoworker Sara (31f) at a bar while I was out with friends celebrating my birthday. We worked together for 2 years at a fast food restaurant. I left this job in January 2025. She was a shift lead and I've never liked her. I didn't like her management style or her personality.
    via dasskz
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    Cheezburger Image 10485195008
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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    FMr.D] 66 Mr.D'z ROUTE GE DINER 66 CHEVROLET ARMANDOS PIZZA
    via Heidi Kaden

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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    She came up to me at the bar and we had a 10ish minute conversation. I thought it was cordial and polite. She was mostly asking me questions about my new job. She asked if I would recommend her for a job at my new company. I got a job at a call
    via dasskz
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    center, nothing glamorous. I told her that i wasn't comfortable with that. She brushed it off with a bad joke. I ended the conversation and walked to the table my friends were at and Sara follows me.
    via dasskz
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    I didn't notice until I got to the table and she sat down next to me. My friends introduced themselves and I without thinking said something along the lines of "I don't like you, can you please leave".
    via dasskz
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    I have autism and I could tell that was not the correct thing to say. Everyone seemed uncomfortable and Sara was visibly shocked and upset. My friends were shocked and confused. They assumed that Sara was a friend or someone I invited to the table. They had zero context of who Sara is.
    via dasskz
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    Sara made a scene and told me that I was ride, a b , and a bunch of other things. She said that I embarrassed her. She embarrassed herself by following me to my table uninvited. And yes, she knew it was my birthday. I do feel bad and know that I could have formulated a polite response. But she's a former coworker and an unpleasant one.
    via dasskz
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    I have many stories about her but the worst examples is that she made jokes about my autism and deafness, multiple times. She is fake nice and her friendship style is bu ying people. She has a really icky vibe.
    via dasskz
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    I don't know what Sara wanted from me. I wasn't going to hangout with her, especially not on my birthday. So AITA for telling her bluntly that I don't like her?
    via dasskz
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    Edit: I forgot to mention how my friends reacted after Sara left. They were really upset that she called me a b and collectively told her to leave. Sara left quickly, and I told them who she was. They've heard stories about Sara for years. None of my friends thought i was an a hole. All of
    via dasskz
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    them were comforting and validating. We ended up leaving the bar within the hour because I was overstimulated and felt so uncomfortable being at the bar. We went back to my apartment and hung out for a bit there.
    via dasskz
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    The reason I thought I was an ah le is because I've been trying to be better about social situations. My friends are used to how I communicate and are biased. When I was reflecting on the situation, I was thinking of
    via dasskz
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    better ways to tell Sara to leave that wouldn't have resulted in a scene or being berated. Thank you to everyone who took the time to read my post. I can't possibly respond to every comment, but I have read them. all.
    via dasskz
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    GothPenguin NTA-Some people apparently need straight up bluntness even if it is r de. She is one of them. You told her you weren't comfortable recommending her for a position where you are now she brushed it off with a joke. You ended the conversation. She followed you to the table. She needed blunt.
    via GothPenguin
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    CuriousTiktaalik Exactly. I'm sure there are many people reading . I wish I could be that this post saying, " blunt." There is a time and a place for it, and this was it. Also, with autism, it's easy for manipulative people to hijack that tendency to question your
    via CuriousTiktaalik
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    actions whenever anyone gets upset. You do the right thing, and then they act all offended, hoping to get you to waffle. If you suspect this may be happening, seeking independent opinions (like you're doing right now) is vital. Well done all around, OP!
    via CuriousTiktaalik
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    Individual_Water3981 Yah I agree. I'm probably somewhere on the spectrum too but those fake, bs niceties also bug me. I would've probably said practically the same thing, like "what are you doing I'm here wth my friends can you leave me alone". I don't really know a nicer way to say that or why anyone has to be nice when someone is following you.
    via Individual_Water3981
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    Frankifile Wish I had the guts to be that clear and to the point. People like Sara rely on everyone being too polite to call her out. She was expecting to crash your party make contacts and try and persuade your friends to get her a job.
    via Frankifile
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    She'd have made you miserable in your friend circle by invading it. Good for you for speaking up.
    via Frankifile
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    Lizwings Absolutely- I'm so impressed that OP said. something and set boundaries. I think if any of the friends at the table were uncomfortable, they should now be treated to a bunch of stories about how r de and offensive ex-coworker has always been so they understand how much OP's response was both necessary and justified! OP, your friends would definitely support you if they knew how awful Sara really was. I hope somebody also told her off for calling you names after she was told to leave! NT
    via Lizwings
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    Content-Army2384 100% NTA. Sara was probably hoping that if she asked for the recommendation again in front of other people, OP would be too polite to say no, or maybe even trying to worm her way in to getting a recommendation from someone else. She knew exactly what she was doing and she's just salty for being called out on it.
    via Content-Army2384
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    your-rong If she really made fun of your autism and deafness, then NTA. You could have asked her to leave without saying you didn't like her, but at least you know she won't be pestering you for a job now.
    via your-rong
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    Butter_Bean_Majean The only thing about this that seems off is OP is trying to insinuate she couldn't help but to be so blunt because: autism. If that were truly the case, OP would have told this girl off during the 2 years she worked with her and the girl was supposedly
    via Butter_Bean_Majean
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    always making fun of OP. I think OP told her off this time solely because she no longer works with her and thus no longer has to worry about repercussions. Still, OP isn't the ah le here, just doesn't sit well with me when people try to use autism as a get out of jail free card.
    via Butter_Bean_Majean
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    T_G_A_H NTA. While it may have been a little better to say, "This is my birthday celebration and you're not invited. Can you please leave?" That could have easily been followed by her saying, "Oh, I'd love to celebrate with you," or something like that, and then you would have had to say that you didn't want to celebrate with her, and why.
    via T_G_A_H
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    Also, who stays and makes a scene after being told that? If she was so "shocked and upset," she would have just slunk away, and then you and your friends would have probably felt bad. This way, she just demonstrated that she's a bu y. Don't waste any time feeling bad about this.
    via T_G_A_H

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terrible coworkers bar work stories birthday birthday party coworkers friends reddit story mean workplace reddit thread Reddit coworker blunt Mean People
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