New mom refuses to allow mother-in-law to babysit after MIL keeps undermining her parenting decisions, family dispute ensues: ‘She started to play mommy with my son’

Author image for Bar Mor Hazut
Bar Mor Hazut • Senior Editor
Mar 26, 2025 7:00 PM EDT

Anyone with complicated relationships with their in-laws will tell you that boundaries are the most important thing in keeping them on good terms. Even those who don't consider their relationship with their in-laws complicated would probably agree that boundaries are essential. There is simply something about our in-laws' wiring that is bound for trouble, and there is only so much you can do to avoid it.

When children are involved, and by that we mean children of your own, if you haven't established your boundaries yet, you might find yourself regretting that. As soon as you give your in-laws grandchildren, they become completely different people, and not people you usually want to have constantly around your kids.

So you must set ground rules. When and where they are allowed to visit, for how long, what they can or cannot do with your child, and what your absolute red lines are. Then, and only then, should you allow your in-laws anywhere near your baby; otherwise, don't say you have not been warned.

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  • The woman in this story is currently regretting not setting some ground rules with her mother-in-law before a baby was brought into the family. She is now struggling to keep her MIL at bay, and it is proving to be quite a task.

    Keep scrolling to read the full story, and share what you think this new mom should do in the comments down below.

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    via Balazs Toth

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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    "WIBTA if I told my fiancée and my MIL I will no longer buy groceries for my baby."

    So backstory before I get into it, I (23 F) gave birth to my son last summer. My MIL was VERY involved in my pregnancy which I was very thankful
    via Possible_State4774
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    for. When I gave birth that support turned into possessive behavior, I could list off scenarios but this post would be a book lol. I have address
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    this several times with my fiancé (24 M). He will tell me he will talk with his mom but nothing seems to change. My relationship was GREAT
    via Possible_State4774
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    with my MIL up until she kinda started to play mommy with my son. I've set boundaries and somehow they apply to everyone but her. Again it's a on going battle and
    via Possible_State4774
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    my fiancé isn't supportive or just brushed it off. So currently my baby is starting solids now and I will prep food and buy snacks that I know he
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    likes but my MIL will buy whatever snacks she has and will feed him that. My MIL IS NOT my babysitter, we have a family member watching him at my MILS
    via Possible_State4774
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    house. She will buy groceries for my son and has introduced foods etc. I am at a point where I don't want to buy him groceries as the food I
    via Possible_State4774
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    pack is just left untouched or it starts to go bad in my fridge. (I do have farm animals that eat said food). I have told my babysitter to feed what I pack but then she
    via Possible_State4774
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    tell me she was told there was food for him my MIL bought. I also want to start taking my son to my moms as I know my MIL won't have any control
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    over him but the commute is 30 minutes one way and I would have to wake him up at 5 am. I'm not sure what to do.
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    EDIT: I may have not specified this, but I will still buy my son his groceries for our home. I would have my MIL use/buy food instead of me packing his meals.
    via Possible_State4774
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    PrestigiousPie8014 This childcare arrangement just isn't working. Can the babysitter be at your house during the day?
    via PrestigiousPie8014
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    Possible_State4774 OP My MIL and my babysitter made arrangements for her to cook and clean her house while she watches my son
    via Possible_State4774
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    purplstarz The fact that your babysitter is cleaning for MIL and feeding your child MIL's food when you told her to feed the food you provided, means your babysitter isn't willing to go. against MIL's preferences for
    via purplstarz
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    yours, which means your babysitter isn't working for you, she's working for your MIL. You know your MIL is watching your child while your "babysitter" is cleaning MIL's house, right? This isn't working
    via purplstarz
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    for you. It will continue to not work for you as long as your child is being watched in MIL's home. Change to your house. That may mean changing babysitters.
    via purplstarz
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    via miodrag ignjatovic

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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    EmceeSuzy INFO: What is your living arrangement? Do you have a home? Or do you and you child live in your mother in law's home?
    via EmceeSuzy
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    Possible_State4774 OP We live on a 10 acre compound... it's yes and no as her house is Nextdoor
    via Possible_State4774
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    Hidden Vixen21 So. Your child is at MILS house. And is being fed healthy appropriate food. It's just not your food she is feeding your kid?
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    Either you are being way to demanding and have some over the top expectations. Or you need to stop letting your kid stay at MILs house without you there.
    via Hidden_Vixen21
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    Possible_State4774 OP Some of the food she has offered and will feed is gerber. I don't want him eating that since there been soo many recalls for metals being found in the food or choking hazards
    via Possible_State4774
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    NoFlight5759 Wake up earlier and drive to your mom's would be solution 1. But, you now have a kid with this man better buckle up this will be the norm for a minimum of 18 years. I'd advise not getting married. NTA if you get your a up and drive it's 30 minutes not 2 hours each way.
    via NoFlight5759
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    R4eth Nta. You have a fiance problem, and a mil problem. You're engaged to a momma's boy, and not in the cute way. Time to move in with your mom and
    via R4eth
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    ensure your kid is getting the care you want for them. Call off the engagement until you fiance takes back his spine from mommy dearest.
    via R4eth

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family drama aita baby kids mother grandma reddit story parenting babysitting mother in law family grandparents Reddit children Father
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