'She's just a kid': 10-year-old stepdaughter gets overlooked during a family gathering when she's the only kid not to get a gift bag, leading her mom to confront the family

Author image for Bar Mor Hazut
Bar Mor Hazut • Senior Editor
Mar 29, 2025 6:00 PM EDT

Being the only one not biologically related to the rest of your family must be an extremely difficult thing to come to terms with, regardless of how old you are. No matter how you are being treated in that family unit, you will always feel at least slightly like an outsider, like someone who does not fully fit into the family puzzle.

It's one thing to imagine what it's like as a fully grown adult, so I can't even fathom what it must be like for a kid who is actually living through that. Every interaction they have with a family member must be affected by those feelings, even if those family members do not intend for that to happen. Even if they wholeheartedly try to treat those kids the same way, these questions will always be hanging over the kids' heads.

That is why I felt genuinely sorry for the kid in the story below, who felt somewhat left out during a family gathering, when everyone but her got a "goodie bag" from their fully adult cousin. 

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  • The cousin is the one who wrote the story below, and they tried to defend their action, while fully admitting that they treat that 10-year-old girl differently because she is not biologically related to them.

    Keep scrolling to read the full story, and let me know what you think of the situation in the comments down below.

  • 01
    Cheezburger Image 10486363392
    via Dimedrol68

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 02

    "AITA for treating my cousin's stepdaughter differently?"

    I was raised in a family oriented household so I grew up close with my cousins and other extended family members my age.
    via MGL_Santos_
  • 03
    After the following years, we grew, had our own lives but the bond was still the same if not stronger. Some of these members settled down and had a
    via MGL_Santos_
  • 04
    family of their own. While I am close with their kids, having my own I feel is not for me. I don't think that I want to have that responsibility, or atleast not yet.
    via MGL_Santos_
  • 05
    Since I am single, have a low maintenance lifestlyle, childfree, have a stable job, some passive income and extra money I try my best to be share my blessings to
    via MGL_Santos_
  • 06
    everyone including to the younger generations of the family Fast forward to last weekend, we celebrated my grandmother's birthday so
    via MGL_Santos_
  • 07
    it was kinda a big deal and nearly every family member's gonna be there. With that in mind I prepped some goodiebags filled with chocolate, candy, and some cookies. I also baked
    via MGL_Santos_
  • 08
    some extra just incase more kids attended the reunion than planned (family friends) as a separate set of goodiebags, which includes 3 assorted cookies.
    via MGL_Santos_
  • 09
    After the day ended I handed every kid a goodiebag to take back home. Every one was happy and appreciative with the gift, so I thought. My cousin's stepdaughter, 10,
    via MGL_Santos_
  • 10
    approached me complaining that why is her goodiebag smaller than her younger sister. Luckily there were 2 extra cookie bags. But she complained that she wanted chocolate and candies too like everyone.
    via MGL_Santos_
  • 11
    But I said if she had more cookies than anyone with 12, and if she want she can trade some of her cookies with her sister or ask to share. She said she didn't want to and said since she's
    via MGL_Santos_
  • 12
    older she deserves the extra cookies as well as the other goodies. I said and couldn't do that, and I promise her that I would give her some next
    via MGL_Santos_
  • 13
    time. She started crying and my cousin, her stepdad, came to try to quell her. I explained the situation and apologized. He understood and took the kid away as well as the
    via MGL_Santos_
  • 14
    extra packs of cookies I planned to give her. That evening, my cousin's wife called me and told me that I was d and accused me of mistreating her
    via MGL_Santos_
  • 15
    daughter just because we aren't bl d related. And said that wasn't the only time I treated her differently. Called me some profanities, cursed me and hanged up before I can speak for myself.
    via MGL_Santos_
  • 16
    Admittedly, I DO treat her differently, Initially, yes, it was because we weren't related but after a few years it was because of her attitude and personality. She's super spoiled,
    via MGL_Santos_
  • 17
    entitled, rowdy, nosy, and just plainly misbehaved. BUT what happened on grandma's birthday was an honest mistake, with her personality, had I known my cousin planned to bring.
    via MGL_Santos_
  • 18
    her which he normally doesn't do, I would have given exactly like her sisters and the other kids to avoid the drama. So am I the a hole?
    via MGL_Santos_
  • 19
    A
    via Monkey Business Images

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 20
    BoredofBin Info - Why could you have just not given her the extra bag? Especially since you did give her a smaller one initially. I understand that her attitude is an issue but the girl is 10 while you are
    via BoredofBin
  • 21
    an adult, who admittedly did treat her differently than the rest of your nieces and nephews. Adding the judgement here. YTA.
    via BoredofBin
  • 22
    MGL_Santos OP I did give her an extra bag. 2 actually. Also gave her an option to trade with her sister or the others but she said she want to. She want to keep the 2 extra goodiebags + she want me to add chocolates and candies that are included in the original one
    via MGL_Santos_
  • 23
    Humble-Can-4229 No offence but Yta. At first, I was in doubt because you said you made a few extra cookie bags for random kids that might turn up, but then you clarify that this girl has been a part of the family for years. She is
    via Humble-Can-4229
  • 24
    not some random kid that you weren't expecting to be there, so it is actually really nasty to purposely treat her differently because you don't like her. She is just a kid.
    via Humble-Can-4229
  • 25
    MGL_Santos_ OP She is. But she don't normally attend these kind of events. So I didn't expect her to come.
    via MGL_Santos_
  • 26
    BoredofBin While agreeing that it was a lapse in your judgement, you need to understand it from the other perspective. A similar sized goodie bag for all the kids with all the same contents would have saved you the trouble.
    via BoredofBin
  • 27
    Also, how do you and adult expect a 10 year old to behave in a proper manner, when you have treated her differently in the past.
    via BoredofBin
  • 28
    MGL_Santos_ OP Yup. I could've planned better. But honestly if I knew beforehand that she'll attend I made sure to give her her own goodiebag to avoid the unnecessary drama.
    via MGL_Santos_
  • 29
    Insomnia_and_Coffee Next time just make sure ALL the goodie bags are identical, including the back up / extra ones.
    via Insomnia_and_Coffee
  • 30
    Jocelyn-1973 I don't fully understand - where the goodiebags personal or did you make a bunch of the same ones and handed them out at random, which turned out to be less filled for her, by mistake?
    via Jocelyn-1973
  • 31
    MGL_Santos_ OP Made similar ones. Large goodie bags includes assorted choc. Assorted sweets. Cookies. Smaller ones just includes cookies.
    via MGL_Santos_
  • 32
    I prepared the 'larger' ones for the kids. And the 'smaller' ones as back up if ever the larger ones is not enough, like if there were sudden guests who attended. But that being said, i prioritized handing out the younger kids the larger bags first since I thought the older ones would understand.
    via MGL_Santos_
  • 33
    alphabetacheetah This will probably be downvoted but YTA. You admit to treating her differently because she's entitled, but i doubt you'd treat a blod relative the same. Whether you like it or not she's part of the family so it's just ride to treat her like that
    via alphabetacheetah
  • 34
    WickedAsh111 As a former (because I cut them off) step-CHILD whose bonus fam did this repeatedly (but told me I was spoiled or entitled when pointing this out) YTA. Sorry.
    via WickedAsh111
  • 35
    She was singled out at an event, most likely not for the first time. She is young and likely sensitive to rejection, not to mention has insecurity and past experience being shown she does not belong.
    via WickedAsh111
  • 36
    If anything extra effort to make sure that something like this doesn't happen in the future. will go a long way.
    via WickedAsh111

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family drama aita gifts presents kids birthday reddit story parenting Party dad entitled family daughter Reddit mom cousins parents children cookies
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