'I saw her Instagram story, she was at a concert': Frugal friend refuses to bail out their roommate after they ask them to cover 100% of rent after finding out she lied about the real reason for financial hardship

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Jesse Kessenheimer • Writer and Editor
Mar 29, 2025 9:00 AM EDT

This roommate was working part-time, scrounging to pay her bills and saving every penny to cover expenses, yet when their friend asked them to cover her half of rent that month because of a 'finance emergency' she initially agreed to lend a helping hand. That is, until she realized her friend was lying about the real reason she was so desperate for cash. 

As an adult, we have many choices in life. When it comes to finances and making wise decisions, your 20s are usually when you start hashing out the value of a roof over your head, groceries in the fridge, and gas in your car. For some, it takes a while to realize that necessities are far more valuable to keep in your budget than frivolity—so when this friend found out what her roommate was spending her money on instead of their shared rent, she immediately withdrew her generosity. 

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  • Spending money on a concert is certainly an ‘extra’ in my budget. When finances are good and I have a little extra butter in the spinach, if a concert rolls into town that I want to see, I won't hesitate to buy a ticket. But if rent is due, my bills are backed up, and a weird sound is coming out of my engine, I might think twice. Then again, I'm probably more of a responsible adult than the freeloading roommate in this next story…

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    via SDI Productions

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models

  • "AITA for refusing to help my friend pay rent after she spent her money on concert tickets?"

    Currently I live in an apartment with my friend and we split everything 50/50 - rent, utilities etc... its not a fancy apartment, but we make it work. I am a student with part-time job and my friend works full-time.
    via babewcute
  • last week, rent was due. the day before, she told me she couldn't cover her half because her paycheck was short and asked if i could spot her until the next one. i was kinda stressed but agreed to help her since its a one time thing.
    via babewcute
  • However, the next day i saw her instagram story. she was at a huge concert for one of her favorite artists. i asked her about it, and she admitted she bought the tickets a month ago, and said
    via babewcute
  • she couldn't pass up the chance and didn't think her finances would be this tight by now. I was furious and told her it wasn't fair to make me cover rent while she's out spending on luxuries.
    via babewcute
  • she told me i was being harsh and that her experiences matter too, and I would've done the same. i told her i wouldn't because i actually budget for my responsibilities. and i don't over spend.
    via babewcute
  • now we haven't talk in few days because she thinks i'm being selfish and cold. Some my friends say i should be more understanding because mental health matters and music is her escape. i don't want to be heartless, but i also don't want to be someone's safety net when they make poor choices. aita for refusing to cover her rent?
    via babewcute
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    via SDI Productions

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • LoveBe NTA She's defensive because she got caught! She's mad at you because you called her out for spending money she didn't have.
    via LoveBe
  • She needs to learn the old rule: keep half of your rent/mortgage payment amount from your 1st paycheck and put it aside. Then, when you get paid again, add that half to half of your current paycheck and there you go: there's
    via LoveBe
  • your rent money. Everything left over is for utilities, food, car insurance, gas, and whatever other bills you have. If there's anything left over after paying everything, THAT'S your spending money.
    via LoveBe
  • She should never spend money for entertainment or extras until her obligations have been met. Even then, she should put a few dollars away in case of emergencies.
    via LoveBe
  • ETA: I hope she pays you back plus a little extra for interest. Have her sign a little note in case you have to take her to a small claims court or something. Write down something like this: "I, so-and-so promise to repay (your name) the amount of ." Then sign it first then have her sign it. Put the date on it, too.
    via LoveBe
  • vashmunn If you already paid this month rent, tell her she will be responsible for the entire rent next month along with her share of utilities. Your mental health matters as well. Because of her you will be nervous and anxious because you no longer have that money to live off of (food/transport/emergency)
    via vashmunn
  • Younggod9 NTA She knew rent was coming up but still chose to blow her money on a concert expecting you to clean up her mess. That ain't an experience that's simply irresponsibility you ain't her parent or her bank she gotta learn to prioritize
    via Younggod9
  • tinap3056 NTA she took advantage of you and lied by omission. If one of those friends cares about her mental health so much they should pay for her concert ticket.
    via tinap3056
  • manylightg Nta. She prioritized a concert over rent. That's not a mental health thing. That's poor planning. You're not her safety net and not selfish.
    via manylightg
  • Whispergloww Look, concerts are fun, but rent is a priority. She made a choice, and now she's gotta deal with the consequences. "Mental health" doesn't excuse blowing rent money. She's being irresponsible, not you. Don't let her guilt trip you.
    via Whispergloww
  • Odd_Task8211 NTA. Her escapes don't have to cost the rent money. She is irresponsible and wants you to bail her out.
    via Odd_Task8211
  • Katiew84 Mental health matters? Yeah, so does OP's mental health. Her roommate is causing her financial stress, and that's unfair.
    via Katiew84
  • Know what else matters? Having a roof over your head. If the roommate continues to neglect necessities and prioritize trivial things like concerts, she'll be homeless. I wonder what her
    via Katiew84
  • mental health will be like then... NTA. I'd move or find a new roommate. Don't ever lend your roommate again. Not even a penny.
    via Katiew84
  • Sea_no_evil Answering your question in the last line: no, absolutely 100% not. What actually happened here is that she manipulated you into giving her a loan by lying --
    via Sea_no_evil
  • basically, if you do this to a person in the lending business, this is a fraud, clear and simple. If all of this interaction was properly documented, in a lawsuit you roomie/friend would be toast in a
    via Sea_no_evil
  • second. IOW, what she did was wrong, so wrong that we actually created laws around this kind of thing. NTA. Stand your ground here, if
    via Sea_no_evil
  • you capitulate to her manipulation you will just be setting yourself up for more abuse in the future. I around with your Don't finances, that can stay with you for a long long time.
    via Sea_no_evil
  • exorcius NTA. It's not the messing up for me, it's the lying. She could have confessed that she was stupid with her money and she needs help and will pay you back, and you could've made your choice from there. Instead she lied about the reason, and when confronted won't even admit to making a mistake.
    via exorcius

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friendship roommate tenants concert tenant friends psycho roommate finances rent financial loan pay paying rent tickets roommates payback
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