Wife serves husband's food in the dog's bowl, he refuses to eat it despite it being dishwasher clean: 'She actually DID offer to switch'

Author image for JR Atkinson
JR Atkinson • Writer and Editor
Mar 30, 2025 10:00 AM EDT

Our brains don't always react in ways that make sense on a logical level. It's called emotions. Emotions don't follow reason-- they don't have to. They just have to respond to the stimulus at the moment and trigger a response from our nervous system. My palms get sweaty on planes no matter how much I know they're safer than being in a car. Some people laugh when someone tells them bad news. 

They can't help it, they might wish they could change it, but it's just the way they are. And some of us have aversions that have nothing to do with reality and everything to do with our own neurosis. Many people have a fear of clowns despite never having had a negative interaction with one. There's just something about them that makes us uncomfortable, even if we can't put our finger on it. This is one of the wonderful things about being a human. We have such complex wiring, but sometimes it gets crossed.

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    Cheezburger Image 10486886656
    via Unsplash+ (Getty Images)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • That's what happened in this story, when one man's peccadilloes ended up causing his wife not to speak to him for the rest of the night. The question was, though, was it justified? And did her reaction make it better or worse?

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    AITA? My wife put my food in the dog bowl.

    I get home from work and my wife has made dinner. We usually split this responsibility, though I enjoy making food. She told me in advance it was a stew. I get home after telling her I was happy she had handled food as I arrive usually around 450 to 500. She tells me that the stew she made
    via u/Sufficient_Still1934
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    tasted "just okay", and shows me my portion. It was in our dog's bowl. I didn't even notice at first, but when I did I asked, "is that the dog's bowl?". She said yes, and that it had been in the dishwasher. I was taken aback, and stood in the kitchen for a bit. She then offered her own bowl of stew to eat, but she had already eaten from
    via u/Sufficient_Still1934
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    it. I feel as though it wouldn't have been hard to quickly wash a bowl that we had, as opposed to giving me the one that our dog eats from. He eats his own feces, and....is a dog. She was upset when I told her I wasn't going to eat it. She locked
    via u/Sufficient_Still1934
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    herself in the bedroom for hours after as well, as if I was a monster for saying I didn't want to. After, she came out and argued that the dishwasher cleans things at like 160F and it would be okay. I not only disagree with that rationale, but have been germ averse since I was young, and she knows that. Who wants to
    via u/Sufficient_Still1934
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    come home to food in their dog's bowl, anyway? We have so many others that only we use. I was so confused, and then more so when she acted like I was the bad guy? I'm only making this post because she said that opinion would likely be split, if I did. Who would think that was okay? How am I TAH for not wanting to eat from a dog bowl?
    via u/Sufficient_Still1934
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    Commenters shared their opinions on whether or not his wife was in the wrong.

    . Moderatelysure 11h ago NTA. Would your wife switch with you and take the dog bowl herself? If she's acting put out it is probably because she's embarrassed at being such a j
    via u/Moderatelysure
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    Sufficient_Still1934 OP 10h ago She actually DID offer to switch, after she had eaten a tad from her bowl. I think, genuinely, she sees no problem with that. It was so odd.
    via u/Sufficient_Still1934
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    emb... • • 10h ago Edited 10h ago NAH Controversial take, apparently. But the fact she offered to switch shows that she wasn't sending you a message or intentionally treating you disgustingly. She just didn't get it.
    via u/embopbopbopdoowop
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    Now she knows. Do I find it odd that she served your food in the dog bowl? Yes. Do I also find it odd you didn't switch when she offered? Yes. Will I call either of you an AH for it? Nope. Just talk it through and move on.
    via u/embopbopbopdoowop
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    Cheezburger Image 10486884352
    via Unsplash+ (Getty Images)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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    happiestnexttoyou . 10h ago Is it a dog's bowl or a regular human bowl that your dog uses? Because yes, if she fed you your dinner in a bowl that is designed to be a dog bowl that is bananas.. but if it's a human bowl that your dog uses and it had been through the dishwasher then I think you might be overreacting a little.
    via u/happiestnexttoyou
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    • sunlightanddoghair 10h ago your logic is flawed too... because if you won't eat off of it why would you wash it in the same dishwasher as things you would eat off of? that being said the vibe of eating out if the dog bowl is weird and I wouldn't? lol
    via u/sunlightanddoghair
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    Leading-Knowledge7... . 10h ago The two of you do the dishes so rarely that every other bowl and plate you own was in the dishwasher? Something is very wrong in your home and marriage-and I don't think it's just about what to serve stew in! NTA Nobody wants to eat out of a dog bowl.
    via u/Leading-Knowledge712
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    Financial_Bowl9440 • 11h ago That's such a weird choice. There was absolutely no other food receptacle available? I mean, sure it's clean, but it's super weird. Is she often like this?
    via u/Financial_Bowl9440
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    QueenHellokitty 9h ago Info: Has OP answered if this was truely a dog bowl or just a regular bowl the dog eats out of? Also, I have never had a dishwasher, but if then offensive bowl was not clean enough to eat from after a cycle through, wouldn't everything else in the dishwasher also be unclean?
    via u/QueenHellokitty
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    _unloved • 8h ago He admitted in his OP that it's a normal human bowl they use for the dog.
    via u/____unloved____
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    unloved • 8h ago Dude. I just realized. She wasn't mad because you didn't want to eat out of the dog's human bowl. She was mad because you were refusing the meal she made entirely. You refused one dish because you refuse to accept that it was properly sanitized, and you refused the other because you won't swap germs with your wife.
    via u/____unloved____
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    YTA double for misrepresenting her anger. A triple YTA for STANDING IN THE KITCHEN instead of washing your own bowl.
    via u/____unloved____
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    Major_Friendship4... . 11h ago NTA in any way. Did you have a fight with each other or something? Because I'd never give anyone anything in a dog bowl, even though I love my dog more than most people.
    via u/Major_Friendship4900
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    St... • • 10h ago Edited 10h ago I don't think your wife had ill intent. The dishwasher sanitized the bowl. Her meal didn't turn out as planned, so she was frustrated and probably didn't feel like washing another bowl. She offered to switch which means she didnt mean anything by it.
    via u/Strange_Lake7646
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    My dog drinks out of our regular bowls and we put it in the dishwasher every day. We don't keep separate ones for her, and weve never had any issues. However, if you don't want to use that bowl, you don't have to. As long as you didn't ask her to make you something else I don't think
    via u/Strange_Lake7646
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    either of you are in the wrong. Maybe just ask her next time if there arent any clean dishes, to leave yours in the pan and you'll wash a dish and serve yourself. NAH
    via u/Strange_Lake7646
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    . Unfair_Finger5531 8h ago I am so over these relationship conflicts. If the bowl was properly cleaned and sanitized, I see no problem. I am assuming that you mean it a bowl that the dog has eaten out of, not a dog bowl you get in a pet shop. Either way, you're the a h le for making this unclear.
    via u/Unfair_Finger5531
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    jo... 10h ago Edited 10h ago • If it's a bowl from your regular dish set that was used for the dog, then ifyou're squeamish about using a bowl that the dog ate from but has been washed in the dishwasher then you have all the freedom you need to change the bowl yourself. If it's a doggy bowl, that's clearly only intended to be for pet food then yeah I would wonder what was going on
    via u/jones_ro
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    Opinion-1998 · 10h ago • Maybe she doesn't have common sense. I have never heard of anyone serving a person food on a dog bowl. People eat from dishes and dogs eat from dog bowls. Even clean dog bowls are for the dogs.
    via u/Opinion-1998
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    spo... 9h ago Edited 9h ago . NTA, but not because of the bowl mishap (I've read most of your clarifying comments). The fact she locked herself in her room for hours and got angry at YOU for HER triggering your phobia is incredibly immature.
    via u/spoticry
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    Many phobias and aversions don't have an explanation. If someone doesn't like something at a visceral level, you can't logic through it. Talking about how cute and harmless ball pythons are won't make people less scared of snakes, typically.
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    This is even less likely if you get angry and belittle the person for being scared or upset. Even less likely if they exposed you to the snake in the first place, by accident or not, and refused to apologize.
    via u/spoticry
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    Me and my partner are essentially married, and we both do our best to be accepting and understanding when the other person dislikes something. I'm the worse offender of having irrational dislikes since I have OCD. He rarely cuts me down
    via u/spoticry
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    for it. At times he gets confused and tries to reason through it, but he drops the topic AS SOON AS it's clear that it's just "one of those things". I can keep my bearings if he leaves it alone and is mindful of my boundaries. I extend the same to him.
    via u/spoticry

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long term relationship relationship advice healthy marriage aita relationship marriage relationship status germs relationship-drama reddit story marriage-drama relationships story phobias food reddit thread Reddit aversions healthy relationship
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