Women spends $5,000 of her own money on gaming equipment, husband accuses her of financial infidelity after learning she has so much savings: “I’ve lost my trust in you”

Author image for Briana Viser
Briana Viser • Writer and Editor
Apr 2, 2025 12:00 PM EDT

Infidelity comes in many forms. It isn't confined to the typical definitions these days. Among couples, everyone knows about intimate or romantic infidelity, but there are more ways than one to betray a partner intimately. It's not just physical intimacy, nowadays even if you like someone else, or develop an emotional crush on the while in a partnership, this could be conveyed as infidelity. Falling in love with someone else can be more painful to your partner than actually doing something physical with them. For me, I think both are equally as painful. The physical intimacy isn't "nothing," and even if it didn't "mean" anything to the person who did it, their actions speak louder than their words. They did it for a reason, and the truth behind that reason is something that could haunt a couple forever. 

In the story below, the infidelity (or whatever you make of it) is in the form of financial infidelity. The husband accuses his wife of financial infidelity after it's revealed that she spent thousands of dollars on new gaming equipment for herself. Read the full story below for all the juicy details. 

Add as a preferred
source on Google
Advertisement
  • 01

    AITAH? Husband accused me of "financial infidelity"

    R Y ט| G H C v B N M K 10 HO "I feel like I'm being punished for being more of a saver than spender"
    via vladimirsukhachev / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    Husband (33M) and (33f) have been married for 10 years, together since college. Since starting out we have made financial security a priority and have been able to achieve that, albeit with some good luck along the way. We both have good jobs (paying close to 200K each).
    via u/LadySavings
  • 03
    Student loans were paid off within a few years (both went to state schools with some scholarships so didn't have a lot of debt to begin with), we live in a house I inherited from my grandmother (no mortgage), and don't have any credit card debt.
    via u/LadySavings
  • 04
    We max out our 401(k)s and currently have 18 months of expenses in our emergency fund and are still adding to it. Our cars are both paid off and should be good for another 5+ years and we don't have any credit card debt.
    via u/LadySavings
  • 05
    We manage our finances in a hybrid manner - joint accounts for bills and savings, and separate accounts for our "fun" money (we each get a pretty generous monthly allotment). The fun money is strictly for our individual expenses (hobbies, clothes,
    via u/LadySavings
  • 06
    outings with friends, etc.) and NOT for things like date nights, vacations, or larger joint purchases like household appliances and repairs which come out of our joint account.
    via u/LadySavings
  • 07
    We also agreed that if either of us gets any bonuses (or has any side hustle income) those will go into our individual fun money accounts, unless the funds are needed for a larger expense such as a major home repair.
    via u/LadySavings
  • 08
    In terms of the "fun" money, my husband is much more of a spender than I am due to expensive hobbies (in particular golf and collecting sports memorabilia, and he's also more into designer clothes), which is fine it's his fun money! On the -
    via u/LadySavings
  • 09
    other hand, my hobbies are a lot less expensive (running/working out, reading, baking). In general I'm more introverted and a great time for me is tea with a friend at one of our homes, with homemade pastries.
    via u/LadySavings
  • 10
    I have also been getting back into gaming lately after setting it aside for much of the past decade while building my career. After realizing I had more than enough in my fun money account, I decided to overhaul my gaming setup and got myself a new PC, desk and gaming chair (total cost of about $5,000).
    via u/LadySavings
  • 11
    Cheezburger Image 10488599808
    via Proxima Studio / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 12
    However, upon hearing about the purchase, my husband is furious. He says he had no idea I had saved so much money and that I should have consulted him before spending $5K. I asked what difference it made if it was my own accrued fun money and not
    via u/LadySavings
  • 13
    our joint funds, and he insisted that my accumulating this amount, without telling him, was a form of financial infidelity. He says he lost trust in me and doesn't know what else I might be hiding. He is demanding that I return the items I purchased and deposit most of the funds to our
    via u/LadySavings
  • 14
    joint account. He wants to make a new rule that fun money accounts can't accumulate more than $2K and that any excess goes back to the joint account (a rule that would obviously favor him as a person who spends most of his allotment each month instead of saving up for anything bigger).
    via u/LadySavings
  • 15
    I feel like I am being punished for being more of a day-to-day saver than spender. It wouldn't occur to me to demand to know how much my husband has in his fun money account or to try to micromanage what he spends it on. I wasn't hiding anything
    via u/LadySavings
  • 16
    deliberately he never asked - about it until after I made the purchases. Still, maybe I should have been more transparent about my plans. So AITAH?
    via u/LadySavings
  • 17
    Miscellaneous Info: Husband and I each have our own office/hobby room in the house so it's not like the gaming setup was going in a space he uses. I don't usually game when my husband is home unless he's already busy doing something else - my biggest
    via u/LadySavings
  • 18
    block of gaming time is typically when he's off playing golf. Also, I run 40-50 miles a week so it's not like I am generally sedentary. I can't think of a good reason why he would object to me gaming or having a nice gaming setup in my own space in the house.
    via u/LadySavings
  • 19
    lostdragon05 NTA. He sounds super controlling and greedy. My wife and I manage our finances in a similar way. She spends her money on whatever she wants and I blow mine on outdoor stuff
    via u/lostdragon05
  • 20
    and video games. We have joint checking and savings for household expenses, kids, vacations, etc.
    via u/lostdragon05
  • 21
    I'd sit him down and tell him how he chooses to spend his own money is his business and how you spend yours is your business. He agreed to this arrangement and doesn't get to change the rules because he chooses to
    via u/lostdragon05
  • 22
    manage his money differently than you and you aren't going to return anything because he is acting like a spoiled manchild who didn't get a new toy when you did.
    via u/lostdragon05
  • 23
    20 DEC MK 581 MB 245171151 82 647576 03 DOLLARS (Uདུ༽” ག་དུ༽ 087 220 20 20 THEAMTED ST
    via Kaboompics.com from Pexels / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 24
    JonBenet_Palm NTA. This isn't a money issue, it's a control issue.
    via u/JonBenet_Palm
  • 25
    Seems like you've spooked him by showing you can quietly amass funds out of sight. You are making a good income and have few expenses, so 5k should not be that big a deal regardless of the circumstance. The
    via u/JonBenet_Palm
  • 26
    only reason it is, is because. your spouse thinks he should have a say in your spending (read: freedom).
    via u/JonBenet_Palm
  • 27
    I'm not saying this is ab ive behavior, it could be something else, but this is a thing abusers do. Better to nip it in the bud ... do not agree to the new 2k limit. Push back.
    via u/JonBenet_Palm
  • 28
    miyuki_m It's funny that he's accusing you of financial infidelity when he's trying to manipulate you into handing over money you saved.
    via u/miyuki_m

Tags

family drama marriage drama family feud relationships lol couples love family reddit thread Reddit funny money dating
Scroll Down For The Next Article