Single dad berates his 15-year-old son's 17-year-old girlfriend after he finds them together after he forbade them from dating until his son's grades improved: 'If I ever catch you two together again, it won't be pretty for either of you'

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    I (50M) am a single father to my son (15M), (My then girlfriend got addicted to and walked out shortly after he was born. She is no longer in our lives.)
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    My son has been making exceptional grades and he plays for his high school's baseball team, he is pretty good at that though my opinion may be a little biased lol anyway, That was until he starting dating a girl (17F),
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    they met when they were assigned as partners on a project and I guess they hit it off pretty fast because this came out of the blue for me when I picked him up one day and he just said "Dad, I have a girlfriend now".
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    I was proud and excited for him that my son was finally becoming a man, I also had a remedial version of the "talk" with him (can never be too careful).
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    They've been dating for the past few months and they seem very happy together, but my problem is that my sons grades have been slipping, he's been skipping out on chores at the house, and missing practice/games.
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    I'm not mad that he is dating. However, that should come after business (school, baseball, etc.).
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    So last week I told him that he is no longer allowed to spend time with her unless he gets his sh together, he responded "But Dad, I really like this girl", I told him " That dosent matter, if you fail and flunk out of school, I don't want you seeing her and that's final".
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    He signed and said "fine". I figured that was the end of it, well, until yesterday when I come back home from the store, and I found them on the living room couch together (he lied to me and said he would have a freind over to study). My son froze like a deer in headlights, I told him to go to his room, and then I turned to his gf
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    Now I'll admit that I might have been a little stern, but I told her to "get the hell out of my house and stay away from my son, he doesn't need this distraction, and if I ever catch you two together again, it won't be pretty for either of you"
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    Then the water works started, and she stormed out. I go upstairs to my son, who is already on the phone, telling my mother and my sister (his aunt and grandmother have always spoiled him).
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    I take the phone and try to explain, but I get lectured for "being too hard on him, he's just a boy, etc.) I'm just trying to keep my son from ruining his life before it even starts. If he fixes his grades and everything, he can see her again.
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    LISTENING SECT TOE 00 2 QUESTIONNAIR 4 S 000 O 600 99
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    So I figured it'd be best to get an unbiased 3rd party opinion AITA?
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    Rbf_Ceo YTA You're allowed to be angry your son did lie to you and go behind your back, but holy Christ on a bike, that is no excuse to threaten anyone! You're 50 year old man right? How hard would it have been to (in a calm manner) simply ask your son's gf to leave, and then go and talk to your son about what happened? Your son's gf is not responsible for his actions and choices.
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    Also "finally becoming a man" LMAO this coming from a guy who let his anger get the better of him and threatened a teenage girl?? If you know so much about being a man, apologise to your son and especially his gf.
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    JelloGirli Yeah, he threatened her until she cried and ran from the home. And he's a corrections officer, and he threatened her. I would be calling his job, I'd be calling the police department. I'd be calling his Sergeants or commanding officer and probably the city that he worked in to report him. I just cannot believe in any world someone thought that they could yell at a child that's not theirs for something that their child probably instigated or neglected to explain.
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    Rbf_Ceo A corrections officer you say? Oh jeez, he clearly can't tell the difference between being "stern" with someone and threatening someone - so that's concerning. I agree with you, that's what I'd be doing if I were the girls parents. Right?! When your child does something wrong or plays a part in doing something wrong, address it calmly with YOUR child. But if you can't help yourself and feel like you have to say something to the other kid/s involved, keep it calm and non-threatening.
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    mayasky76 Yes... If there's anything centuries of classic love stories have as a catalyst is the overwhelming support of the parents. You're bang on the right track there..... Yes siree I can't see any glaringly obvious problem with adding a ,"forbidden romance" element to their young lives h ..... Were you born fifty.....
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    crocodilezebramilk YTA, why is this girl responsible for your son's actions? And why did you talk to her so harshly? How would you like it if her parents talked to your son with the language you used?
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    LinwoodKei This is what truly bothers me. A man barged in, yelled, angrily shouted, sent her person away and out of sight and then said "it won't be pretty". What does that mean? The poor girl was probably terrified. I hope that OP does find some angry parents on his doorstep.
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    AvailableAd1925 Define "grades slipping" and skipping out of "house chores"
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    ihopeididnotfuckup OP His room is g i mess, he isn't doing his laundry or cleaning his bathroom. He has Fs in almost all his classes because he isn't turning in work.
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    IdeVeras It's frustrating but if you think ostracizing his girlfriend will help it, it won't. Your approach is wrong in every possible way. Apologized now. Talk to your son, establish rules for the relationship and just try not to be such a d*ck person overall.
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    waterytart142 None of which is the fault of a teenage girl! Your son is responsible for managing his time, attention, energy and focus. Women are not responsible for men's decisions, my god. If you spoke like that to my daughter she'd never set foot anywhere near you again. You're lucky her parents didn't show up and knock your teeth
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    down your throat. Good luck ever getting your son to trust you or confide in you ever again. And by the way, I spent 25 years working in Corrections myself and still know how to be a normal human, stop hiding behind your job. If this is what it's turned you into, it's time to retire. You're a buy, a coward, a misogynist and a crappy parent. Get it together.
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    Ok, so first, I'd like to thank everyone for taking the time to give me this well-deserved, years long, overdue attitude adjustment.
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    I was an a hole in this situation. While I was in the right to be worried about my sons academic performance and his responsibilities at home, I'll admit that I let my temper get the best of and I acted on impulse with how I handled this situation.
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    I shouldn't have yelled at that girl. After talking to my son, it turns out that he never told her that he wasn't allowed to see her. She didn't know, and I should've gone to my son instead of taking it out on her.
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    My job plus the past trauma from my ex leaving are not stresses that I can self manage anymore, I'm done lying to myself, and I will be looking into therapy soon.
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    My son has invited her over for dinner later this week, I plan to apologize and explain the situation and I'll try to work with them to have fair rules that will encourage my son to stop slacking off while also allowing him to spend time with her.
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    You get more flies with honey and vinegar, and prohibition will only make my son lie and sneak around, which could lead him to doing dangerous/irresponsible things.
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    I showed my son some of the comments, and he's been laughing his a off at everyone roasting me, lol. I may post another update this week after dinner, if I remember. Thanks

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