22-year-old niece demands $50k from uncle for extravagant destination wedding after he says he'll "help" to pay for it: 'I sat them down and said I’d contribute $15,000, which I thought was a pretty generous amount. But they both seemed really upset'

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    "AITA for refusing to pay for my niece’s wedding after promising to cover it?"

    So, I'm a 35-year-old guy, and I've always been close with my older sister, Emily (38F), and her daughter, Lily (22F). Emily had Lily when she was young (16), and since she was a single mom for most of it, I've always tried to help out where I could. Over the years, I've paid for Lily's summer camps, her college applications, and even her first car. I did this because I love them both and always wanted to support them.
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    A year ago, Lily got engaged to her long-term boyfriend. When they announced the engagement at a family dinner, I said I'd be happy to help with wedding expenses. I never said I'd pay for everything, but apparently, my offer was interpreted as me footing the bill for the whole wedding. It became clear when Lily and Emily started planning a big, extravagant affair- destination wedding, 200+ guests, you name it.
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    I sat them down and said I'd contribute $15,000, which I thought was a pretty generous amount. But they both seemed really upset. Lily said I "promised" to pay for the wedding, and Emily backed her up, saying I "always supported them" and this was the least I could do. Apparently, they were expecting I'd cover a $50,000+ wedding. I told them that wasn't happening. $15,000 was all | could give.
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    Now, here's where things get worse. Lily and Emily stopped including me in the wedding planning entirely. I didn't hear much from them for a while, and it turns out they booked everything for the wedding thinking I'd eventually cave and cover it. Now they're in over their heads, and the wedding is just three months away. Emily called me, crying, saying they were going to lose deposits and that I "ruined" the wedding by not coming through. Lily isn't speaking to me.
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    Here's the kicker: Emily and Lily are now saying I'm being manipulative, offering to help and then taking it away at the last second, making them look bad in front of the groom's family. They claim they never would've planned something so extravagant if I hadn't promised to cover it all.
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    But I never said that. I said I'd help. I feel like I've done more than enough over the years, but now I'm being treated like the villain for not paying for this giant wedding. AITA?
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    OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the ahle: 1. I refused to pay everything for my niece's wedding 2) I said I would help out (but did not mean for everything)
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    Cheezburger Image 10489427968
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    mdthomas When they announced the engagement at a family dinner, I said I'd be happy to help with wedding expenses. I never said I'd pay for everything, but apparently, my offer was interpreted as me footing the bill for the whole wedding. They heard what they wanted to hear.
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    I didn't hear much from them for a while, and it turns out they booked everything for the wedding thinking I'd eventually cave and cover it. They then continue planning huge wedding even though you told them you weren't paying for everything.
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    Now they're in over their heads, and the wedding is just three months away. Not your fault. They made those choices, not you.
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    Emily and Lily are now saying I'm being manipulative, offering to help and then taking it away at the last second, making them look bad in front of the groom's family. Not your problem
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    now I'm being treated like the villain for not paying for this giant wedding. That s ks, but you did nothing wrong. NTA
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    ONEELYDHED DOLLARN SKHAWLS UN BX35 wwwwwES OF AMERICA TED STATES CHAVES CRAN BYTION A 100 DOB 100 P 34735266 100 VENOTE 883 D SEL UNETED STIE 100 00
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    anothertypicalc... NTA How incredibly entitled. I think it's absolutely awful how they're trying to take advantage of your generosity. If an uncle offered to give me $15k for anything, I'd be so grateful!! They dug this hole themselves, and now they're
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    finding out your boundaries are, in fact, ACTUAL boundaries that you plan to stick too. Good for you!! They could have planned a perfect good wedding for $15k or threw in a bit of their own money for a $20k wedding, smh.
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    C Jesus. I wish I had someone generous to give me 15k. I can't imagine booking a wedding I couldn't afford to cover myself, let alone scoffing at someone pitching in 15 grand. You sat her down and clarified everything with lots of notice. NTA.
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    HugelnTheShire NTA You're nothing more than a bank account to these people, they'll bl_d your bank account dry and once it's all gone so are they.
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    Cheezburger Image 10489427456
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    Even_Enthusias... Here's an even easier solution. Say $15,000 or no dollars. And that's that. They want to spend $50,000 with someone else's money. Tell them that someone else is not going to be you. Nta
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    RoyallyOakie NTA....The least you can do? The least you can do is zero, and at this point that's what they deserve. They took your kindness and generosity for granted. Your niece and sister need to reflect on just how much you've already done for them.
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    LittleKokiriBrat As someone getting married in 2 weeks, our wedding is under 10k because 1. we paid for everything ourselves and it's what we could afford, and 2. we don't feel entitled to anyone else's money. This is insane.
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    ONE HUNDRED DOLLARS WWW UNITED STATES DFAMERICA ONE ISDRED DOLL ARE UNITED STATIC OFAMERI SLEAD 100 VE NOTE 83 D UN LA OF OPAMER

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