‘"Sorry, you should [have] got up to make my lunch"’: Working woman stops making entitled husband work lunches after he spends a fortune on eating out and blames her for it

Author image for Lana DeGaetano
Lana DeGaetano • "Show me to me please."
Apr 4, 2025 8:00 AM EDT

It's 2025, and we're still hearing stories about husbands who expect their working wives to make them lunch at the crack of dawn every morning. I didn't know we were stuck in the 1950s.

In spousal relationships, the dynamic between both partners is spoken about before you marry each other and move into a nice big house together. Setting boundaries, standards, and expectations for each person's role is integral to a healthy partnership. However, a lot of spouses miss the beat on "partnership" and instead treat their partners like servants. Luckily, the woman who is being treated this way in the next story refuses to allow that treatment any longer.

The woman works night shifts frequently, while her husband works a regular day shift. When she gets home in the early hours of the morning, the last thing she wants to do is make lunch before bed. They also have a child, who frequently wakes her up when she's not working the night shift. All signs point to her husband making his own darn lunch. He didn't like hearing that from his wife, though. Scroll to read.

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  • You might be thinking that it's not that difficult to throw together a lunch. I agree. Which is why the husband shouldn't find it difficult to do it himself. Clearly, the woman has enough on her plate as it is, and her husband refuses to take on extra tasks for himself out of sheer laziness. Then, when he spends $15 on a burger their family can't really afford, he blames her for not making his lunch. It seems like the woman can't catch a break. but she refuses to continue her servitude under her husband regardless.

  • 01
    "He will be eating a big nice burger while me and the kids are surviving off canned foods or cereal..."
    via Monika Grabkowska For Unsplash+
  • 02

    "AITAH for telling my husband I will not be getting up in the morning and making his lunches for him?"

    So my husband works 8-5 Monday-Friday. I work varying schedule usually 4-5 days a week and it's evening/night shift position. Sometimes I work 6pm- 12am and sometimes it's 9pm- 5am. We have an 8 month old and a 3 year old. I am very very
    via Ok-Flower-4738
  • 03
    tired whenever I have an overnight shift but still take care of the kids through the day and maybe catch 1-2 hour nap when kids nap. I still make dinner every night. I still make sure the house is clean and dishes are done even when I know I'm going straight to work when he gets home.
    via Ok-Flower-4738
  • 04
    For the last 5 years I have got up at 6-7 am and packed my husbands lunch for his work day. If I DONT pack a lunch for him I get guilt tripped about it. Or when we are struggling to make ends meet he will go spend 15
    via Ok-Flower-4738
  • 05
    dollars out of 60 bucks we have left for lunch and tell me "sorry you should of got up to make my lunch" so he will be eating a big nice burger while me and the kids are surviving off canned foods or cereal from my wic card.
    via Ok-Flower-4738
  • 06
    Cheezburger Image 10489769216
    via Elisabeth Jurenka For Unsplash+

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 07
    I told him last night he's going to have to start making his own lunch. I tried to make a deal and said ONLY WHEN our 8 month old starts actually sleeping through the night will I get up and
    via Ok-Flower-4738
  • 08
    make his lunch. She still gets up 3 times a night. Definitely not like our first because he was sleeping 10+ hours straight by 4 months. I said I genuinely feel like a shell of
    via Ok-Flower-4738
  • 09
    a person because I don't get any sleep some days and days I don't work my sleep is still broken up sleep and definitely not 8 hours. He says we are just going to have to figure a way to work it in his
    via Ok-Flower-4738
  • 10
    budget so he can buy lunch everyday. New flash that isn't going to work. I write the budget and we barely have any wiggle room have rent, utilities, gas,
    via Ok-Flower-4738
  • 11
    student loans, food, diapers, wipes, and just basic living expenses. We definitely won't have enough to cover 15 dollars 20 days a month for his big burger he likes to get.
    via Ok-Flower-4738
  • 12
    He says my schedule is way more "laid back" and he works so hard through the week and he has to get up and actually get dressed in the morning so he won't have time to make his lunch. And since
    via Ok-Flower-4738
  • 13
    I'm already home and usually is my comfy clothes I should still be able to get up and make his lunch. The problem is when I get off at 5am I really just wanna go right to sleep and try and get a
    via Ok-Flower-4738
  • 14
    few hours before the kids get up. And days I get home at 12am I still would like to sleep and if I get up to make his lunch I'm usually stuck awake for the rest of the
    via Ok-Flower-4738
  • 15
    day and can't get back to sleep. AITAH for trying to make this deal? Or should my husband be a big boy and just make his own lunch?
    via Ok-Flower-4738
  • 16
    Vast_Zebra_9625 I don't even have to read all of this.., NTA. If he wants a daily lunch, he can prep it before going to bed!
    via Vast_Zebra_9625
  • 17
    No-Housing-5124 NTA and so much more. OP, this is about so much more than "lunch." This is about the way your husband thinks about you, your labor, your rest, your quality of life, the food that everyone "deserves" to eat based on their status, and, of course, his position in the household.
    via No-Housing-5124
  • 18
    He is only using "lunch" as the language to express his real feelings. Do you know what I mean?
    via No-Housing-5124
  • 19
    Top_Put1541 If this grown man is under the delusion his primary value is bringing home the money, and he's not making enough to feed his children - which he's not, the government is and he's not an - equal partner in raising his children or doing the housework ... what is the point of having him around? He brings nothing to your family that you can't do without if he's not there.
    via Top_Put1541
  • 20
    myheartisnumb NTA. It's so funny (well messed up, not funny) how some men will still expect their food packed like they're a child, meanwhile their wives work as well (and let's face it, probably work more when you combine all the household duties) and whose packing the wife's food? Who's making sure she's good, or god forbid has a moment where she isn't thinking of someone else's needs before her own 24/7.
    via myheartisnumb
  • 21
    Consistent-Ad3191 Tell him to stop being lazy and entitled and get off his a and make his lunch. Tell him you're doing much more than he is and still manage if he can't manage a job and making his own meals and he's got a problem tell him to stop acting like a manchild.
    via Consistent-Ad3191

Tags

relationship advice aita toxic husband toxic-husband AITAH husbands husband and wife relationships husband entitled people karma entitled reddit thread Reddit toxic relationship entitled people
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