Dad forces 21-year-old son to take a DNA test to confirm suspicions during divorce proceedings, son cuts him off when results prove that he's the father: "I was nothing but a burden his entire life"

Author image for Ely Bulnes
Ely Bulnes • Writer and Editor
Apr 8, 2025 4:00 PM EDT

What makes someone a dad? Is it your genetic relationship? Many who grew up up with absent fathers do not actually consider those men who sired them to be their "real" dads. Even when they reach out to their progeny years later to apologize for their failures, they may often find themselves spurned and rejected. Real dads are the ones that show up; they are the ones that raise, educate, and support their children regardless of kinship. 

In our story today, a man raises a child; he is with him every step of the way until adulthood. He holds him as a baby, plays with him as a child, and bears witness to his awkward teenage years. However, when this man and his wife begin divorce proceedings, he suddenly rejects his son, believing that he is not biologically his son. Despite having raised our protagonist, his dad alienates him until the results of the paternity test. Scroll down to get all the details. 

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  • 01

    AITAH cutting contact with my father after DNA results showed indeed his son?

    Cheezburger Image 10491659776
    via freemixer

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    My (21M) parents (52M and 45F) are currently going through a divorce. It's not a nasty situation-just a recognition that they've stopped liking each other and can no longer stand being in the same room.
    via u/Tomei_omen
  • 03
    For some background: they've been married for just over 21 years (yes, I was the reason they got married), and aside from me (21M), they have another son (9M)—a full 11 years younger than me.
    via u/Tomei_omen
  • 04
    Cheezburger Image 10491035392
    via Andranik Hakobyan

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 05
    About two weeks ago, they had "the talk" with their lawyers. I'm away in another region of the country for college, but according to my mom, during the discussions, my father repeatedly questioned whether I was actually his son. He claimed I had
    via u/Tomei_omen
  • 06
    ruined his life and called my mom horrible names (his words, not mine). My mom decided to settle the matter with a DNA test, so I had to take leave from college and return home. The test was conducted with lawyers present, and throughout the entire process, my dad refused to look at me or say a single word to me.
    via u/Tomei_omen
  • 07
    Cheezburger Image 10491035648
    via Kaboompics.com from Pexels

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 08
    Afterward, I went back to college, and their divorce proceedings resumed. When the DNA results came back, my mom called me really cheerful and happy -I am indeed his son. The day passed without a single call from my dad. It took him two weeks to
    via u/Tomei_omen
  • 09
    reach out, but I didn't answer. Honestly, I had no desire to hear from someone who had been so adamant that I was nothing but a burden his entire life. My silence was interpreted as rebellion, and now everyone on my dad's side of the family is angry with me.
    via u/Tomei_omen
  • 10
    So, my question is: Should I even try to have a relationship with my dad after what he said? And how can I make him understand how deeply his words hurt me?
    via u/Tomei_omen

  • This man does not deserve to be back in our protagonist's life. He was able to throw 21 years of parenthood away and alienate his own son just because he may not have been biologically related. As if all of those memories meant nothing.

  • 11
    Edit: wow, thank you so much for all the support. I'm going to give him a piece of my mind today, hahaha. I'll update if there's anything to update. Once again, thank you for the support, the comments and the advice.
    via u/Tomei_omen
  • 12
    Update: sh hit the fan in a way I didn't anticipate. He is actually staying camped on his belief and has asked me to sign a paper that's going to release him from any parental rights. Life has a way to show you who matters and who doesn't, in my case, I can tear apart that entire branch of the family tree.
    via u/Tomei_omen
  • 13
    Edit 2: sorry for the confusion on the parental rights. What I mean by it, is that he won't have the moral obligation to help me in case of an emergency and vice versa. Yes, laws in my country force the parents at any age of the children, to help and assist in any way they can and they can even be sued for non assistance.
    via u/Tomei_omen
  • 14
    3G 9:41am Incoming Call Decline Answer
    via hocus-focus

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 15
    Dejonda Hey, first off, I just want to say I'm really sorry you're going through this. No one deserves to be treated like that... especially not by a parent.
    via u/Dejonda
  • 16
    You're absolutely NTA for cutting contact. Your father didn't just question your biology, he attacked your identity, your value, and your place in his life. That kind of betrayal cuts deep. You had to stand in a room, take a DNA test, and be treated like a
    via u/Dejonda
  • 17
    stranger by someone who should have always been your biggest supporter. Now that the results proved him wrong, he only reached out when he felt like it, with no apology or accountability? That's NOT okay.
    via u/Dejonda
  • 18
    Right now, it's okay to protect yourself, take space and say, "That hurt me too deeply, and I need time" or choose to ho NC and walk away for good.
    via u/Dejonda
  • 19
    Stay focused on your studies, your mental health, and the people who treat you with love and respect. You didn't ruin anything, he's the adult who made his own choices.
    via u/Dejonda
  • 20
    Whatever you decide, you've got every right to set boundaries that protect your peace. Also, because I'm petty, for those on your 'dads' side of the family they really need to be put in their place, responses prepared below for maximum impact...
    via u/Dejonda
  • 21
    "Interesting how I wasn't his son until a lab said so, but now I'm supposed to be the disrespectful one for not answering his calls?" "Appreciate the sudden concern for family bonds. Wish that same energy had shown up before the DNA test."
    via u/Dejonda
  • 22
    "He called me a burden, questioned my existence, and now I'm the bad guy for not picking up the phone? Tell him to try fatherhood next time instead of damage control."
    via u/Dejonda
  • 23
    "Imagine needing scientific evidence to acknowledge your own child and still thinking I'm the one with issues."
    via u/Dejonda
  • 24
    "Funny how none of you questioned him when he was denying me. But now you're experts on respect and family values... Interesting."
    via u/Dejonda
  • 25
    Good grief, I hope karma finds this man and his enabling family quickly.
    via u/Dejonda
  • 26
    Tomei_omen OP Thanks for the support and also for the missiles you're lending me, hahaha. I think I'm gonna have a talk with them because my relationship with that side is as tumultuous as the one I have with my dad.
    via u/Tomei_omen
  • 27
    mocha_lattes_ NTA he took his issues with your mom out on you. He's done nothing to try to repair that. Even if you biologically weren't his kid, he raised you for 21 years. That makes you his kid.
    via u/mocha_lattes_
  • 28
    Thira-Piano5010 OP you don't owe him anything. Your dad publicly questioned if you were his son and ignored you during DNA test. Now that the results proved he's your father, he wants to talk? Naah!
    via u/Thira-Piano5010
  • 29
    Weareallme Yes, NTA. It shouldn't even matter if you share DNA. Being family for 21 years makes people family, only screwed up people think differently. Im adopted, does that mean that I'm not my parents 'real' son? Crazy thinking.
    via u/Weareallme
  • 30
    Also, no way OP ruined that guy's life. Who decided to risk creating a child? Not OP. That guy is just completely insane. I'm sorry to OP, but that guy just doesn't deserve to be a father.
    via u/Weareallme
  • 31
    Active_Imagination74 I will never understand parents that blame their kids for their miserable lives
    via u/Active_Imagination74

Tags

family drama fatherson married with children fatherhood paternity relationships parenting cheating dad divorce cheater family infidelity breakup Father
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