16 howlarious cases of canines being complete and total boneheads: '[He] played tug of war with my outdoor faucet... that cost me $1200'

Author image for Blake Seidel
Blake Seidel • Managing Editor & Brand Manager
Apr 11, 2025 11:00 AM EDT

Listen, dog devotees, we love our puppers. We love them more than life itself. We would do anything for them, and we like to think that they would do the same for us. They are not, however, the brightest crayons in the box. We're convinced that they have five brain cells (collectively) and use them all to eat, sleep, and commit derpy crimes that we cannot even begin to imagine. They may be good at playing fetch, but the one thing they cannot fetch is a high IQ. That's okay, at least they're cute.

We have countless stories of our dogs being complete and total boneheads. Once, our dog decided to enjoy some snacks from the trash, got their head stuck in the top, and then ran around the house, scared, spreading trash everywhere. That was a fun day. We're not the only ones with these derpy doggo stories, and we definitely don't have ones that are better than the comedic canine cases below. If you thought your dogs were dumb, just you wait.

Subscribe to our weekly newsletter to start your Caturday with the funniest felines on the internet!

Add as a preferred
source on Google
Advertisement
  • 01

    What boneheaded thing has your pup done?

    'When presented with the options of stealing a steak or a paper towel, she chose paper towel.'
    via Orbon Alija

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    Cheezburger Image 10492082432
    via u/mxpx77
  • 03
    This complete maniac was in the neighbors yard barking at someone they have visiting. O Also, he's wearing his sisters pink GPS collar because he ditched his and we can't find it. Yes you heard that right. He so thoroughly hid his collar we cannot find it even with active GPS tracking turned on.
    via u/mxpx77
  • 04
    BeefaloGeep Mine routinely runs in one direction while looking in another direction, so he runs into things frequently. Trees, fences, my tractor. No thoughts, only running.
    via u/BeefaloGeep

  • Need another laugh? Subscribe to our newsletter for a weekly serving of the silliest cat content!

  • 05
    millionsarescreaming Climbed up on the kitchen table and ate 12 loaves of pita bread. She's 75 lbs but somehow snuck up and ate them then had the unmitigated gall to beg for her dinner.
    via u/millionsarescreaming
  • 06
    Cheezburger Image 10492082176
    via u/millionsarescreaming
  • 07
    ThatsARockFact1116 On Christmas Eve Ollie discovered that she could walk on the lake that had frozen over when the geese she chased off the yard landed 10 feet away. She then took off on the ice down the middle of the lake, FELL in the ice and while a
    via u/ThatsARockFact1116
  • 08
    neighbor and I tried figuring out hatcheting our way in a kayak and another called the fire department, she scrambled out on her own after a few terrifying minutes. When she got to shore she tried to PLAY with the neighbor's dog.
    via u/ThatsARockFact1116
  • 09
    Cheezburger Image 10492083712
    via u/ThatsARockFact1116

  • If there is one reason we can single out that could be the cause of us going into an early grave - it would be our doggos' derpy antics like this one. We swear, before we had dogs, we had no gray hairs. Now, we see new ones popping up all over the place.

  • 10
    MinuteMaid Marian Ours fell up the newly-finished basement stairs. Went full pancake and slid back down on her belly, flailing her claws just enough to gouge pretty much every step. Fortunately I had enough time to fling my toddler out of the way at the bottom.
    via u/MinuteMaidMarian
  • 11
    AlexSanderTheGrate I took mine on a walk in the neighborhood, and we had these bags for leaves to be picked up sitting out in front of yards. Mine decides to prod at one of the bags and it falls over and it scares into running right into my knee. Next thing you know, we are both on the ground, wincing in pain.
    via u/AlexSanderTheGrate
  • 12
    Celtic Cynic Both currently banned from the bedrooms while nobody is home. Digging to make "Pibble Nests" they have shredded three fitted flannelette sheets in two months
    via u/CelticCynic
  • 13
    Alarming-Flan-7546 When we go out for rides, when we get back home he literally runs into the closed front door, like it is open, full steam, I wonder how many of his 5 brain cells are functioning, lol
    via u/Alarming-Flan-7546
  • 14
    955R 41
    via u/Alarming-Flan-7546
  • 15
    raw2082
    via u/raw2082
  • 16
    Last winter this bone head decided to play tug of war with my outdoor facet and tweaked it at the fountain causing a slow leak. It took me a month to realize when water started bubbling up around my foundation. I did check the meter half way between because things seemed damp
    via u/raw2082
  • 17
    but in the hour time span it wasn't enough to move the usage. That cost me 1200 dollars to repair. He was also 2 weeks into his 4 week training that was 1600. It was a rough month for him and me.
    via u/raw2082
  • 18
    lashedcobra When presented with the options of stealing a steak or a paper towel, she chose paper towel.
    via u/lashedcobra

  • Yes, if no one told you before - dogs are expensive. Not the day-to-day expenses, the emergency ones, like the one above. All of a sudden, you'll have to shell out over $2000 for something your pup ate on the street. The things we do for love.

  • 19
    steph_infection1 Jumped off my 10 foot tall porch to see a dog walking by. No brain, only jump. She's fine, only a small scratch on her elbow, and we put up a baby gate to stop her access to that area.
    via u/steph_infection1
  • 20
    4thewinn Chased a squirrel through the fence squirrel was fine, pittie was immediately distracted. She probably thought "New area unlocked, map updated" and started exploring our neighbors back yard.
    via u/4thewinn
  • 21
    be30620 Ours walked out the open door to the garage, went out of the garage and sat in the driveway tanning. We looked all over the house & backyard. Only to find him there. He came inside, tucked his tail & pinned his ears back.
    via u/be30620
  • 22
    Pitbullpandemonium Tried to get a six foot stick through a three foot gate. When it inevitably got stuck, he just stood there chewing on it until it broke and he got through.
    via u/Pitbullpandemonium
  • 23
    Friedbologna 04 Ivy has eaten a total of 47 dollars
    via u/Friedbologna04
  • 24
    Cheezburger Image 10492087040
    via u/Friedbologna04
  • 25
    Katie32123 Jumps the 5 ft fence just for the joy of it. I have video from our cameras of her nearly making it over the 6 ft section. We've had to staple wire fence to the top al the way around to make it 8 feet. I hate to kill her joy but.....
    via u/Katie32123
  • 26
    TO
    via u/Katie32123

Want More? Follow Us and Add Us as a Preferred Source on Google.

Tags

hilarious derpy dogs cute dogs adorable cute good boy canine doggos doggo funny dogs lol funny derp animals
Scroll Down For The Next Article