22-year-old sister protests when sibling steadfastly refuses to let her live with them after she cheats on their best friend: 'It destroyed him completely'

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Ally Perry • Writer and Editor
Apr 9, 2025 9:00 PM EDT

Cheating may not be uncommon in romantic relationships, but that doesn't make it any less upsetting when it is experienced. One of the founding principles of any kind of partnership should be trust, and it can be hard to regain it when it is betrayed. Many would argue that you shouldn't even bother trying to salvage a connection if your partner cheats.

On top of this, infidelity can be a difficult thing to experience even when you are not the victim of it. While the person who has been cheated on almost always has it hardest, if these actions break up an established relationship, they can have reverberations beyond just the couple themselves. Friends and family can find that they get drawn into the mess, whether they like it or not, making an already tough situation even more complicated. There is often copious potential for the drama to get worse. 

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  • This is how one individual felt after their best friend broke off his engagement to their sister after he found out that she had cheated. This also meant that the woman was kicked out of her apartment, and she immediately expected to be able to temporarily live with her sibling while she found a new place. They refused, and their family was not pleased that they would reject her in a time of need. They wanted validation that they were not in the wrong.

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    AITA for not letting my sister move in after she cheated on my best friend?

    My sister (22F) was engaged to my best friend (24M). They've been together for 4 years, and I was actually the one who introduced them. Last week, he caught her cheating. It destroyed him completely, and he kicked her out of their apartment immediately. Now she's homeless and asked to crash at my place until she figures things out. I told her no. She broke my best friend's heart, betrayed his trust, and honestly, I just don't want her around right now.
    via Puzzled-Load6385
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    My parents and family are furious at me, saying family should always come first, no matter what mistakes she made. I'm getting bombarded with angry messages, calling me cold and selfish for "choosing a friend over my own sister." I'm torn. On one hand, she's family. On the other, she really hurt someone who means the world to me. Am I the asshole for not letting her stay with me?
    via Puzzled-Load6385
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    People were certain that the sister was in the wrong, no matter what her housing situation was.

    SigSauerPower320 NTA "My parents and family are furious right now"... Cool!!! They can take her in!! Also, your family needs an education on what a "mistake" is. Cheating on someone is a choice. A mistake is accidentally putting too much salt in your food when you're cooking. Taking your clothes off, getting into (likely) a bed, and engaging in that act is literally multiple choices.
    via SigSauerPower320
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    Puzzled-Load6385 OP Damn, that salt analogy is brutal and perfect. I've been trying to explain this to my parents and they just won't get it. Like... cheating isn't a brain fart, it's a full itinerary
    via Puzzled-Load6385
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    DragonCelica They don't want to get it. Getting it would require acknowledging the pain she created and the type of person she must be to do so. The truth is 'uncomfortable' so they turn away from it. They just want an easy fix for your sister's homelessness.
    via DragonCelica
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    Ordinary_Current6507 It's wild how quick people overlook what she did just 'cause she's family. Saying no isn't cold, it's just not sweeping it under the rug. Real love sometimes means calling people out.
    via Ordinary_Current6507
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    AssociationLocal8894 Why can't she stay at your parents house? Why do you have to be the person responsible for her?
    via AssociationLocal8894
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    3littlepixies Agree, any one of those angry and complaining family members could take her in. I'm sure every single one of them has a couch. Actions have consequences and bad actions don't deserve empathy. OP should stand on her values and morals and let someone else house the homewrecker.
    via 3littlepixies
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    GoreGoddezz NTA. You're not obligated to let anyone live with you, regardless of the reason. Your house, your rules.
    via GoreGoddezz
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    Serious_Bat3904 NTA tell your parents and family they can take her in.
    via Serious_Bat3904
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    tempco NTA. You're her sibling, not her parent. You don't have to do anything for her. And he was your best friend, so you're understandably pissed. She should crash at your parents'.
    via tempco
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    clearheaded01 ΝΤΑ Classic answer to this issue, is inform all who blames you, taht theyre wellcome to let her live with them... And you giving her tangible consequenses for her shitty behavior is, in a way, you doing her a favor - not enabling her will potentially teach her a valuable lesson... Just because shes family, does NOT mean letting shitty behavior slide...
    via clearheaded01
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    barryburgh How come "family comes first" lets THEM off the hook? Her "mistake" was done on purpose, not accidentally! Remind all of them that, while not letting her move in with you may be a mistake, surely they will forgive and forget since family (YOU) comes first!!
    via barryburgh
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    KrofftSurvivor Anytime someone says ~Family comes first~, it always means - I don't want to deal with this, so I'm forcing you to deal with it. No is a full sentence, and every message can be responded to with 'I'm glad you're concerned about where my sister will be staying, and I'm sure she'd love to have your donation towards her new place'.
    via KrofftSurvivor
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    Mera1506 The only right response is. "Thanks for understanding, I'll tell her she can move in with you."
    via Mera1506
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    howardcoombs NTA Tell your family that you have a different view & opinion on such things and prefer to stand by your friend and not by those who've cheated on them. Your family is free to take her in at anytime. Your door remains closed to the cheater.
    via howardcoombs
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    Pretty-Necessary-941 NTA, but if it was truly "their" apartment, in the legal sense, she should take steps. Yes, cheaters can be horrible, but that doesn't mean he has a right to force her from her home.
    via Pretty-Necessary-941
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    Individual_Plan_5593 I'm gonna say the same thing I tell everyone on AITA in these kind of situations: if your family is giving you so much grief about this THEY CAN TAKE HER IN ΝΤΑ
    via Individual_Pan_5593
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    Fntsyking655 NTA, I would say she made her bed now she needs to lay in it. But the fact she was laying in someone else's bed was the issue. Hopefully you can eventually forgive your sister and the wounds she made may heal. But for now things are too raw, even if you let her stay, feelings would fester and it would not end well for anyone.
    via Fntsyking655
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    AntiqueObligation688 If she had the means and the energy to cheat, she certainly has the means to get her shit together by herself. I agree with your parents (actually no): family comes first. Therefore, why didn't they call to tell her she can crash at their place? NTA and stay on your ground on this.
    via AntiqueObligation688
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    thenord321 Nta Actions have consequences, she can stay in a motel.
    via thenord321
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    real-experience1 NTA she screwed her boyfriend over and now she wants you to screw him over as well by dumping his friendship over her when he needs all his friends the most, she is the one that made a choice and that choices comes with a price
    via real-experience1
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    CattleprodTF "choosing a friend over my own sister." You chose the one who wasn't in the wrong, which is a big, important distinction. NTA.
    via CattleprodTF

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relationships family move in homeless cheating aita sister breakup reddit thread Reddit fiancee
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