Wife finds out husband’s birthday gift for her is a car for himself, she approaches him about it: “I don’t want to sound ungrateful”

Author image for Briana Viser
Briana Viser • Writer and Editor
Apr 12, 2025 12:00 PM EDT

Buying gifts for someone else is one of the hardest things to do. You can have some idea about what the other person likes, but you'll never actually know if they like it until you see their reaction when they're gifted it. Say they like clothes, well you could do your honest best and get them a piece of clothing, but maybe they didn't like that particular piece, or maybe it doesn't even fit them. Our gifts for people are based on our perceptions we have of them, and sometimes it's just not at all how they actually are. Some people are great gifters though. My sister, for example, always seems to know what other people would want. She's given me books, records, and other things that are so unique to my tastes, and she always gives great gifts. Myself on the other hand…will probably end up buying her a gift card or a bottle of something because I usually feel like I have no idea what people will want. 

Even if you're married, you may not know what to get your spouse. In the story below, the protagonist is a woman whose birthday is coming up. She finds out what her husband is going to buy her, and it's not what she expects at all.

Add as a preferred
source on Google
Advertisement
  • 01

    I found out my husband's present for my bday and hate it. Aitah?

    "It's a super selfish move by your husband"
    via Qaiser's Images / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    I know I'll sound ungrateful, but I need an advice I'll turn 45 in a few weeks and I casually found out what my husband is going to give me as a present. Flash back: when we started dating, he had a 2-seats Bmw he loved. He had one major accident with it, spent a month in hospital, had it repaired, then it was
    via u/SickplusTired

  • This woman isn't bein ungrateful at all. Why should she be grateful for a gift that's clearly not even for her? Why doesn't her husband buy her something that she would actually like, and then separately buy himself a car that's clearly for himself?

  • 03
    stolen three times (!!!). It caused a lot of fights and pain between us, and also a huge loss of money. I hated it. When our first daughter was born, he agreed there was no use in a two-seats car and sold it. The guy who took it only paid half of it, the other half was never paid for (hence lawsuit, lawyers, another loss of money, more hate). But that
    via u/SickplusTired
  • 04
    was almost 20 years ago. Now I found out that he's found the very same Bmw and bought it as a present FOR ME! He knows how I feel about this car, it brought a lot of negativeness in our lives, we don't need it and I don't want to drive it. It's basically for himself. How am I supposed to react when he'll give it to me? Falsely cheerful?
    via u/SickplusTired
  • 05
    I know this car, having it again, makes him happy, but it definitely makes me unhappy. I don't want to disappoint him, but he did disappoint me... I can't help but feeling and AH!
    via u/SickplusTired
  • 06
    Sesquipedalophobi... • 20h ago I'd be honest. I would tell him you found out and the reasons you don't want it.
    via u/Sesquipedalophobia82
  • 07
    HAPPY BIRTH DAY
    via gsk2013 from Getty Images / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 08
    ValuableArachnid6... 21h ago He got the gift for himself and is using your birthday as a way to justify it
    via u/ValuableArachnid6103
  • 09
    Cal-Augustus ⚫ 20h ago If it's really your car, registered in your name alone, sell it.
    via u/Cal-Augustus
  • 10
    Due-Season6425 • 20h ago I would casually bring up that car in some roundabout way in conversation. Don't let on you know about the upcoming birthday "present".
    via u/Due-Season6425
  • 11
    I would say something like, "I absolutely despised that car. I am so glad I never have to see it again. I get a bad feeling whenever I see one when I am out driving. If it were still around, we'd probably be divorced over it. Thankfully,
    via u/Due-Season6425
  • 12
    that car is long gone". Unless your husband is a total idiot, he will get the message, and hopefully, get you a real present not some toy for him.
    via u/Due-Season6425
  • 13
    Vintagekittykatt • 21h ago He got himself a gift. For his birthday buy him a manicure and bikini wax
    via u/Vintagekittykatt
  • 14
    EmeritusMember • 17h ago NTA. My father-in-law bought his wife a fancy grill for her birthday one year (she never grills, he just wanted it). So for his birthday that year she bought him the dog she'd always wanted and he hated.
    via u/EmeritusMember
  • 15
    He finally got the picture that gifts are supposed to be something the receiver likes.
    via u/EmeritusMember
  • 16
    (0) RN-> M/S-D AUTO H P
    via Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 17
    Turbulent Ebb5669 • 21h ago NTA. Your husband, on the other hand, only thinks of himself.
    via u/Turbulent Ebb5669
  • 18
    aiudknoNowuknow • 17h ago This feels less like a birthday gift for you and more like his midlife crisis wrapped in a bow. You're not the AH, he bought himself nostalgia, not your happiness.
    via u/aiudknoNowuknow
  • 19
    HeartAccording5241 • 20h ago I would say thanks I can sell it and get something I really want
    via u/HeartAccording5241
  • 20
    Jessabelle517 • 18h ago Just say...Wow dear you bought yourself a gift for my Birthday! How endearing for you! Where's mine at?
    via u/Jessabelle517
  • 21
    WomanInQuestion • 20h ago Tell him that he won't ever be allowed to drive it because it's yours, not his. Watch him lose his mind...
    via u/WomanInQuestion
  • 22
    • Any Assumption_2... 18h ago My first husband used to buy gifts for himself and give them to me for my birthday. Most notable was a table saw.
    via u/Any_Assumption_2023
  • 23
    I started learning to use it, which upset him. When we divorced he tried to take it with him and I said no. I actually started a little side business building Adirondack chairs.
    via u/Any_Assumption_2023
  • 24
    So: here's what you do: Make sure the the title is in your name. It's your present, if it's not have him transfer it. Because it's your present.
    via u/Any_Assumption_2023
  • 25
    Even though you don't like driving it, for at least a few weeks (while you're getting the title transferred) You drive it. If he wants to ride along thats fine, but you are going to drive. It's your present, after all.
    via u/Any_Assumption_2023
  • 26
    Then take it to a dealership and sell it when he's not around to object. You're not comfortable driving it, after all, and cars like that break down all the time. How good are you at looking innocent?
    via u/Any_Assumption_2023

Tags

family drama gifts marriage drama birthday car family feud relationships lol love family reddit thread Reddit funny dating
Scroll Down For The Next Article