19-year-old locks her bedroom door while family visits to keep little cousins out, only to be scolded by grandmother about it: ‘They have a right to be inside your room’

Author image for Bar Mor Hazut
Bar Mor Hazut • Senior Editor
Apr 12, 2025 2:00 PM EDT

Being an older grandkid in a big family can be pretty annoying. You are not part of the adults, but you're also too old to hang out with the kids. You are always expected to be the responsible one, to babysit the little ones, but you never get anything in return. You are stuck between these two groups – the kids and the adults, but you don't belong to either, and it usually means you get the short end of the stick.

One of the most frustrating things about being the older grandkid is that you're always expected to 'be the bigger man', so to speak. If your younger cousin wants something from you, you should give it to them, because they're younger. You don't get a say, you just have to go with it and keep your mouth shut. This is the only way to 'keep everyone happy'.

As you may notice from the bitterness in my words, I am familiar with these situations, which is why I felt for the 19-year-old who wrote the story below.

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  • The thing is, she didn't do anything wrong. The only thing she did was lock her bedroom door while her family was visiting, because she didn't want her 6 younger cousins to mess it up or take anything from there. She even got approval from her parents to do so.

    So why was her grandmother mad when she found out about the locked door? 

    Keep scrolling to read the full story, and find out.

  • Cheezburger Image 10492662272
    via Slatan

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • "AITA for locking my room door so kids won’t get inside and ruin my stuff?"

    So basically my (19F) parents decided to invite my uncles (who live together) and their families for dinner. Both my uncles have 6 kids, and 4 of each of their children are in a
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  • very close age bracket. (3F, 3F, 2F, 1.5F, 1M, 4F, 5F, 6F). Now I don't mind them coming over but the thing is these specific 8 kids do not have any manners despite 3 nannies
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  • accompanying the the families wherever they go but refuse to correct the children if they are doing something damaging to the house like spilling water on the floor or breaking an ornament and instead the
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  • nannies are scrolling through their phones while the children's parents are having discussions with our family in the living room. Now I have a lot of valuable things in my
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  • room like my hand written notes, my iPad, my phone and laptop which I do not want the kids near as I know they'll cry and ask for it and break it. (keeping them in drawers isn't
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  • viable either as the kids open drawers as well). So I simply decided to lock my room so no one can enter and everything would be safe. I told my mom and she had no problems with
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  • it. Now throughout the dinner everything went well until I saw. one of aunts with a buzz of kids carrying her 2F daughter outside our room and trying to open it as she wanted to
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  • change her. She called me over and said the room wasn't opening and that we'd have to call the key master. I said the room wasn't opening as I'd locked it and she could use any
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  • other room to change her daughter if she liked. Now she didng say anything just looked at me a bit weirdly and went to the other room. I know she complained about it because
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  • after the dinner ended my grandmother was not happy with me and said I was disrespecting my Uncle and Aunts and saying they couldn't raise kids properly and being
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  • ride that they have too many kids to handle and God was the one giving them babies and we had no right to comment about their fertility (Even tho I said nothing like this?) She said my cousins also have a right to
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  • this house and to see what's inside the room. My parents aren't angry with me and think I did the right thing but after what my grandmother said, im still wondering Am I the Ahle?
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  • Cheezburger Image 10492663296
    via GCShutter

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • TeenySod NTA Obviously there was another room where your aunt could change her daughter, why was yours so important? :/
    via TeenySod
  • Your parents are OK with you locking your door and it's THEIR house, so the rest of the family can jog on, just ignore them.
    via TeenySod
  • Candid-View-3616 OP I feel like my bedroom is the biggest one that's why and I belong to a south asian country where parents and elders generally do not care about age difference between children- a 19 yr old and 4 yr old would be the same to them-So I guess maybe she hoped that I would "play" with her daughter or find her some toys?
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  • LayaElisabeth NTA. Tell Granny that 'r de' stops where 'truth' begins. Just because they're in denial doesn't mean those kids are raised properly.
    via LayaElisabeth
  • Also, next time this happens, ask grandma if she likes to sign a contract that states she'll personally replace everything the kids break.
    via LayaElisabeth
  • Candid-View-3616 OP Haha nice suggestion! There would be no use of the contract though since my Dad is the one who gives my grandma money and it would be his money not hers
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  • opelan NTA of course. despite 3 nannies instead the nannies are scrolling through their phones Maybe tattle on them. They are not doing their job and it is one of the reasons why you locked your door.
    via opelan
  • Candid-View-3616 OP They've had the nannies ever since their eldest 16F was 2 years old, that's almost 15 years now, so me saying anything won't really change their opinions on the nannies. My dad and his sister have tried to previously give them subtle hints that their nannies are incompetent but they didnt do anything
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  • Leaf-Stars Info: Is this your parent's home or your grandmother's home?
    via Leaf-Stars
  • Candid-View-3616 OP My grandmother lives with us since my dad is the eldest sibling. He provides for her 90 percent of the time and my uncles send some money every month for her medicines and Dr. appointments
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  • Leaf-Stars Then she has zero say as to who has rights to see what's in your room. NTA.
    via Leaf-Stars

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family drama aita baby babysitter kids mother teenagers siblings grandma reddit story parenting aunt family grandparents Reddit cousins women parents children Father
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