Dad asks ex-wife to unenroll their 10-year-old son from private school because he can't afford to send his 8 and 10-year-old stepchildren to private school: 'I won't deny my kids good things because they can't afford for her children.'

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Writer and Editor
Apr 17, 2025 4:00 PM EDT

Life isn't fair, and there's no better time to learn that than during childhood. As much as we like to believe children are blind to the inequalities of the world when they're young and innocent, they notice when someone else has more than they do almost instantaneously. If you cut a cupcake in half and one of the halves is smaller than the other, that will trigger a huge reaction in a certain kind of kid. It's more difficult for a kid to recognize when someone has less than they do, but when they're not getting as much as a kid who is getting a lot, all heck breaks loose. 

Children can't control their life circumstances, so it's up to the parents to make sure they're grateful for the things they do have. If you don't learn that comparison is the thief of joy, you'll have a difficult road ahead of you. 

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  • The dad/stepdad in this story is doing everything he can to make everything fair and balanced with his stepkids that he's harming his biological son. While his son's mom pays for him to go to private school, he and his wife can't afford that for her two kids, which he considers unfair. 

  • 01
    Cheezburger Image 10495213312
    via Sodbayar Photography

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 02

    AITAH for laughing at ex and his new wife when they suggested to change my son's school

    I have a 10 year old son tyler with my ex. I have primary custody and he gets him on Weeknd. We had co parented well so far. I am from Asia. Where private schools are only good mode of education.
    via u/Flimsy-DrinkMommy
  • 03
    I decided not to marry till my son is gone to college. I am a banker, so I earn well for both of us and the CS I get, I put it in his savings . I also pay for his private school which cost a lot. But I can afford it.
    via u/Flimsy-DrinkMommy
  • 04
    Cheezburger Image 10495298048
    via panitan punpuang

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 05
    My ex got married to Lyla last year and she brought two kids. One is ten and in same grade as my son. Second is eight. My son already feels his father has taken away there 1:1 by time with the other children. As most activities are group activites. And he gives zero time to son alone. Step mom also try to parent him and he hates it.
    via u/Flimsy-DrinkMommy
  • 06
    Kids are cordial but don't see each others as siblings. So this Weeknd ex and his wife invited me to dinner. I went and after dinner, they told kids to go to room to have discussion with me.
    via u/Flimsy-DrinkMommy
  • 07
    They said they can't afford same private school for the other kids. And for equality of kids, they need to pull my son out of school. They told how beneficial it will be the elder step kid and my son to be in same school and class.
    via u/Flimsy-DrinkMommy
  • 08
    Cheezburger Image 10495296768
    via Kenny Eliason

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 09
    I was ped and laughed at them. I told their financial issues aren't my problem and I am not changing my son's school. They doubled down. But I stood firm and took my son back.
    via u/Flimsy-DrinkMommy
  • 10
    Since then they are blaming that I want their family to fail and how my son doesn't talk to other kids much. I told them developing the relationship between kids is ex's job, not mine. I don't badmouth them or the other kids. But I don't see it as my responsibility to grow their realtion on his dad's side.
    via u/Flimsy-DrinkMommy
  • 11
    Second, if father is going to put his new kids over his own, it is what leading to Tyler being distant with other kids. They are calling me a h le and his new wife said to me, for Tyler she isn't going to deny her kids a father. I told her that she is no less than evil step monster.
    via u/Flimsy-DrinkMommy
  • 12
    Edit. I forgot to add. Because kids won't have equal things. My son already have more branded things which I can afford and my parents buy him a lot of things. As I am only child and he is their only grandchild. He is pampered a lot by my side and they have issue with that too. I won't deny my kids good things because they can't afford for her children.
    via u/Flimsy-DrinkMommy
  • 13
    Regarding 1:1. Ex said our son needs to adjust for his new siblings and it is family time ;)
    via u/Flimsy-DrinkMommy
  • 14
    kirinspeaks NTA. Do you have a formal custody arrangement? If so, does it lay out the schooling for your son? If it does, then pull it out and tell your ex that you're enforcing the custody arrangement and he's welcome to try and tell a judge that depriving your son for the sake of ex's step-kids is a good idea. If it doesn't, you need to contact a lawyer and get these details locked into a legal agreement (possibly will need to take ex to court for this, but it'd be worth it). If there's no for
    via u/kirinspeaks
  • 15
    Flimsy-DrinkMommy OP Yes I have. He can't change my son's school unless I want it. I have most decision power over my son needs and care. As he didn't want all this responsibility on him.
    via u/Flimsy-DrinkMommy
  • 16
    kirinspeaks Good. Then tell him to stick to the custody arrangement he agreed to in the first place, or he can go to court and get laughed at by a judge for his audacity.
    via u/kirinspeaks
  • 17
    stiggley And all comms regarding your son needs to go through a court approved parenting app so there are records of their crazy demands.
    via u/stiggley
  • 18
    Sad-Country-9873 For peace of mind, contact his school and make sure they know that he can't pull him out.
    via u/Sad-Country-9873
  • 19
    Flimsy-DrinkMommy OP I did it the very next day after this conforontation
    via u/Flimsy-DrinkMommy
  • 20
    br_612 Smart. You're NTA. If the tuition for private school was affecting their household finances I might have some sympathy for them (though you still wouldn't be the a_h_le). But it's not because you're paying it. The only way private school is affecting their household is potentially jealousy from the step siblings, which is on them to manage and discuss with the kids.
    via u/br_612
  • 21
    Your ex's new wife is denying your child his actual father so she might want to calm down with dramatics about denying her children a father for Tyler's sake. Your ex is sacrificing his relationship with his son for his new wife. One day that will bite him on the a.
    via u/br_612
  • 22
    Ok_Childhood_9774 NTAH. If your son is doing well in his current school, there is zero reason to remove him from it, and doing so against his wishes would probably ruin any chance of a relationship between him and his steps. Dad and his new wife will simply have to find other ways to get their kids to bond.
    via u/Ok_Childhood_9774
  • 23
    Flimsy-DrinkMommy OP My son already resent the other kids. They fight a lot. I told him to try to gel with other kids. But he says he hate that dad put them in every activity and play activities which he used to do with his father alone.
    via u/Flimsy-DrinkMommy
  • 24
    Objective_Attempt_14 You should maybe mention this to his father, that his son wants some 1:1 time. Maybe step mom can have 1:1 time with her kids while he has some with his son. then they can meet for dinner, or dinner and a movie or some other joint activity.
    via u/Objective_Attempt_14
  • 25
    Flimsy-DrinkMommy OP He said he wants to include all kids and our son needs to understand it
    via u/Flimsy-DrinkMommy
  • 26
    Fit-Building-2560 No, DAD needs to understand that his OWN SON needs some one-on-one time with his dad! That's natural and normal. This is why the whole thing isn't working out; dad's trying to force everyone to get along 24/7 on the weekends. It's not coming spontaneously from the kids. Dad's plan is therefore doomed.
    via u/Fit-Building-2560
  • 27
    This is causing turmoil where there doesn't need to be any, just because dad has the idea that everyone's supposed to be one happy family on the weekends. This is really sad.
    via u/Fit-Building-2560

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family drama school elementary school kids wife private school parenting husband ex wife family education ex husband Parenting Fail son children parents
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