20-year-old college roommate's refusal of student's emotional support dog in their shared space sparks accusations of insensitivity: 'I lost my temper'

Author image for Blake Seidel
Blake Seidel • Managing Editor & Brand Manager
Apr 25, 2025 11:00 AM EDT

Don't get us wrong, animal fam, by all means, go and register your dog as an emotional support animal. But don't get it twisted - they can be great emotional support, but they will never be a service dog. A service dog is an animal that goes through extensive training, usually from the time they were born, to provide a critical, life-saving service. Just because your dog makes you happy when you're feeling sad does not make them equal to a service dog. Service dogs work, like really work. 

So when this college student complained to her roommates about not wanting their friend to allow their emotional support dog to run around their shared dorm, we get it. We're tired of people claiming their dogs are crucial to their well-being. We love our doggo. We would bring her with us everywhere if we could. But we can't, and that's the world we live in, and everyone should learn to accept it instead of trying to bend the rules in their favor. Read through the thread below for the full story. Enjoy!

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  • 01

    Arguing with my roommate about an emotional support dog

    Cheezburger Image 10496963328
    via oksanashufrych

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    I (20f) am currently in college and share an apartment with 3 other girls. My roommate (19f), I will call her main roommate, likes inviting friends over to watch movies on the tv I bought that is in our common area. I am okay with it because her friends are normally very polite and I
    via u/MegaBigBrainTime
  • 03
    just don't care. This changed when a few weeks ago I came back to my apartment and was greeted by a random dog. Important fact about me: I am terrified of dogs because as a child I was attacked by a dog. It doesn't matter how big, small,
    via u/MegaBigBrainTime
  • 04
    friendly, or cute they are. This dog was small and was on our couch. My roommate was next to it watching movie. I ended up running to my room, past the dog, and called one of my other roommates. My other roommate explained that a friend of roommate brought her dog
    via u/MegaBigBrainTime
  • 05
    along with her to watch movies in our common area. When I came into the apartment I only saw roommate so I was super confused. I found out later that the friend left her dog because she went back to her apartment to grab something she forgot. I
    via u/MegaBigBrainTime
  • 06
    was super comfortable with a random dog being in our apartment but I imagined it was a one time thing until it happened again. This time the friend was in our common area with roommate and her dog was running around our apartment. I
    via u/MegaBigBrainTime
  • 07
    got uncomfortable again so I left the apartment and decided to text roommate about it when the friend left. I asked her if she could just give me a heads up when that friend comes over and she asked why. I explained I am scared of dogs and just
    via u/MegaBigBrainTime

  • Living with roommates can be a tricky experience, and living in a college dorm is usually an experience you just have to suffer through. We thought our college dorm experience was subpar, but this, this takes the cake. These girls (we're assuming they're all girls because it's a multi-person room and we've never heard of a co-ed dorm room) are just terrible.

  • 08
    didn't want to be caught off guard when I come to the apartment. Roommate got super angry with me and told me that the dog is an emotional support animal and that I was ableist. I was really upset and I will be honest I lost my temper. I told
    via u/MegaBigBrainTime
  • 09
    her that this is not an issue of the emotional support animal rather it is about me not being informed that something I am afraid of is randomly in my apartment. She kept calling me ableist and blocked me. She has started to tell mutual friends
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  • 10
    that I hate disabled people and that I am overreacting. Now I am starting to question if I should have just not said anything. Should I apologize?
    via u/MegaBigBrainTime
  • 11
    B bySlap_0506 NTA, and this is ridiculous. First of all, ESAS aren't recognized by the ADA (if you are in the US, that is). Being scared of dogs is not ableist. Doesn't matter what the dog is or what it is for, it is valid to be afraid after being through something like a bite or attack.
    via u/B bySlap_0506
  • 12
    Second, your roommates are jerks for not making sure everybody is OK with a dog being inside in the first place. Do they not at least tell you "hey, (friend) is coming over later and bringing their dog"? Seems like a simple courtesy when you share a living space.
    via u/B bySlap_0506

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  • 13
    EE
    via carloprearophotos

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 14
    DustOne7437 • 5h ago If the dog was a "support animal" why did the owner leave it at the apartment and not take it with her?
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  • 15
    GreekAmericanDom • 5h ago NTA Talk to your nearest RA about this. You are in the right. And if anyone is being an ableist, it is your roommate. She has empathy for the need of a support animal, but no empathy for a phobia.
    via u/
  • 16
    SweetCitySong · 5h ago NTA and no, you are not "ableist." Your roommate is being an AH in calling you that. You are afraid of dogs. You are not afraid of, nor do your actions suggest that you dislike disabled people. It's not like
    via u/SweetCitySong
  • 17
    you're mocking the person with the animal or being mean to them. You're just afraid of the dog. Your roommate should be more considerate since it's a shared space and not try to shame you by spreading nasty lies about you.
    via u/SweetCitySong
  • 18
    fantheflame12 • 5h ago NTA, you are not being ableist when it comes to having opinions about what makes you feel safe and comfortable *in your own home*
    via u/fantheflame12
  • 19
    this is *your house* and you are being more than reasonable asking for a heads up--you are making an accommodation for the guest with the dog by allowing them to be in *your home*
    via u/fantheflame12
  • 20
    I don't allow any animals unless they are trained service animals in my home because I do not want to make my cat feel unsafe, that doesn't make me ableist
    via u/fantheflame12

  • Now, the kind thing to do would be to have compassion for the person you are living with, but apparently, not everyone chooses the right thing to do all the time. 

  • 21
    Witty_Direction6175 • 5h ago NTA. You have no legal obligation to let any dog in your home. Not even a service dog. The laws are for public places, not private residence. Speak to your RA about this.
    via u/Witty_Direction6175
  • 22
    Cheezburger Image 10496962304
    via diversifylens

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 23
    ScarletNotThatOne • 5h ago NTA and horrible roommate. Twisting your words into what they are imagining instead of what you're actually saying. This did not have to be a problem.
    via u/
  • 24
    . dangerwontrobinson • 5h ago NTA- emotional support animals are not the same thing as service animals. Service animals are trained to provide a service, whether it is physical assistance or alerting to
    via u/dangerwontrobinson
  • 25
    changes within a body, and they are medically necessary. Emotional support animals require nothing except a $75 payment on a website or a note from your doctor saying you get sad, and honestly I'm
    via u/dangerwontrobinson
  • 26
    totally okay with people getting the esa certifications for their animals in order to avoid paying pet deposits and pet rent to their landlords because federal law is written in such a way that emotional support animals are
    via u/dangerwontrobinson
  • 27
    protected like service animals in the specific context of a living space, because they provide emotional comfort to a person within their own private domicile. That protection against being denied entry
    via u/dangerwontrobinson
  • 28
    does not extend to public spaces for emotional support animals like it does for service animals, because service animals are medically necessary and emotional support animals are not.
    via u/dangerwontrobinson
  • 29
    Explain that to everyone that your roommate has talked shit to and explain publicly what you explained here, and I guarantee you it will shut her up. At least it will publicly, she will probably still be shitty to you at home because she sounds pretty committed to her misplaced self-righteous superiority complex.
    via u/dangerwontrobinson

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insensitive dogs students bad roommates doggo emotional support animal roommates animals college
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