Professional baker offers family discount for sister-in-law's wedding cake, she demands she make it for free: 'It's not like she's respected my work in the past'

Author image for Ally Perry
Ally Perry • Writer and Editor
Apr 24, 2025 9:00 AM EDT

I know from experience that having a loved one who enjoys cooking or baking is a great thing. Generally speaking, it is the kind of pastime that is meant to be shared, and it is always fun to be first in line for the taste test. A chef in the family who likes to share their skills with others is a privilege that not everybody has.

However, it is also important not to overstep the mark when it comes to freebies. Even the most generous baker or cook will have their limits when it comes to free food, especially if it is their livelihood and not just a hobby. It is important to be mindful of that and realize that some things might be too big an ask to be given away without a price tag. It is easy for this to become the subject of disagreements with those who feel more entitled.

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  • 01

    AITAH for refusing to make my SIL’s wedding cake for free?

    I (29f) run a bakery business that I've built from the ground up during the past five years. It started as a hobby during college, but now it's a registered business with steady clients, a dedicated workspace, and consistent orders during each month. I do mostly for weddings, birthdays, and other events. I take a lot of pride in what I do, and it's not just "baking for fun" anymore. This is my livelihood.
    via silweddingcake

  • One baker found herself dealing with this situation after she gave her sister-in-law a heavily discounted quote on the elaborate wedding cake she had requested. The bride-to-be had been under the impression that this would be a free wedding gift, and was angry that she would have to pay. Complaining to friends and family that the baker was being stingy, she wanted to know if she had done something wrong by asking her to pay for her services.

  • 02
    Cheezburger Image 10497756160
    via Maksim Chernishev

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 03
    My SIL (33F) is getting married at the beginning of June. She's my wife's older sister. We're on friendly terms, but she's always had this vibe like she doesn't really take what I do seriously. She's made comments like, "It must be nice getting to play in the kitchen all day," or, "You're lucky people will pay for something they could probably learn on YouTube." Always with a smile, like it's a joke but not really.
    via silweddingcake
  • 04
    I've brushed these comments off in the past, since they weren't happening all the time and I just didn't want to stir up any drama. So earlier this month, she asked if I'd make her wedding cake. I said sure and asked what she had in mind. She sent over inspo pics of a four-tier cake with smooth buttercream, floral piping, and real flowers on top and cascading down one side.
    via silweddingcake
  • 05
    She wanted it to be a chocolate sponge with raspberry filling in terms of taste. Plus, she wanted for me it to deliver to the venue myself on the morning of the wedding rather than picking it up the day before herself. After we got done discussing everything, I gave her a quote over the phone with a generous family discount, and SIL replied almost instantly, that she didn't think I'd be charging her and the cake would essentially be a wedding gift.
    via silweddingcake
  • 06
    I told her that I don't typically do wedding cakes as gifts because of how much time and work they take, but I'd be happy to buy her something from her registry instead or still make the cake at the discounted price if she wanted. She wasn't happy. Said I was being transactional and that it was just a cake and I clearly didn't want to be part of her special day before hanging up on me.
    via silweddingcake
  • 07
    To be clear, I have made cakes for free before. But those were small, simple ones for people I care about, or for friends who were going through a rough time. This isn't that my SIL and her fiance can pay for the cake, and it's not like she's exactly respected my work in the past. Meanwhile, SIL has been telling anyone who will listen that I'm making her big day about myself and trying to "profit off her happiness." Seriously.
    via silweddingcake
  • 08
    My MIL called and she didn't really ask how I felt or try to understand where I was coming from, she just seemed overwhelmed and kind of desperate to stop this from turning into a bigger family fight. She kept going on about how stressed my SIL was and how she was being a bit much, but basically begged me to reconsider. My wife is completely on my side and has told her mom to stop trying to smooth things over at my expense, but even she admitted she sorta wishes I'd just said yes to avoid the fa
    via silweddingcake
  • 09
    Cheezburger Image 10497756416
    via SJ Objio (Unsplash+)
  • 10

    Commenters denounced the sister-in-law's entitled behavior.

    gringaellie NTA your SIL is being an entitled cheapskate. If you wouldn't normally gift her something as expensive as a cake, then don't gift her the cake. Tell her to get quotes elsewhere.
    via gringaellie
  • 11
    Neighborhood Vivid 106 Exactly! Maybe once she sees how much other bakeries would charge for such a large and elaborate cake she will realize what a deal she was offered, and how outrageous it would be to expect something that expensive and time-consuming as a free gift.
    via NeighborhoodVivid106
  • 12
    QCr8onQ If OP was a lawyer, would SIL expect a free prenuptial agreement?
    via QCr8onQ
  • 13
    FeedsBlackBats I'm impressed you didn't send her a youtube link so she could learn to do it herself. ΝΤΑ
    via FeedsBlackBats
  • 14
    cschoonmaker I'm petty. That is EXACTLY what I would have done.
    via cschoonmaker
  • 15
    Maverick j2k No. Tell her go play in her kitchen and watch on YouTube since that's what she says you do.
    via Maverick_j2k
  • 16
    Well-Done22 NTA. People have no idea how much time, effort and talent something like this takes. She de-values your work.. Stick to your guns. Let her say whatever she wants. The people who agree with her are uninformed. But most people will see that she's being ridiculous. Especially if you let them know how much money and time the cake she's asking for would take. If the other guests aren't paying at least that much money on the bride's wedding gift and spending at least that much time on the
    via Well-Done22
  • 17
    Successful-Worker139 Absolutely NTA. I am a baker. Do not undervalue your work. I've done some free and deeply discounteded wedding cakes when I was starting out, because I wanted to gain the experience and wasn't comfortable charging. For very close friends and family, I will consider cakes a gift, but there's only one more on my list and then they'll all be charged. The material cost alone is astronomical, let alone the time! If she thinks it's so easy to learn off YouTube, she can bake her ow
    via Successful-Worker139
  • 18
    frauleinsteve at this point, do NOT do this cake even if she offers to pay. She is TROUBLE. NTA. Ignore her and anyone else who wants to discuss this. Good luck. Also, it's your wife's problem to deal with......
    via frauleinsteve
  • 19
    FloMoJoeBlow Let MIL pay for the cake.
    via FloMoJoeBlow
  • 20
    Nodgarden At a different baker.
    via Nodgarden
  • 21
    NefariousnessFresh24 NTA - stand your ground. Your SIL is an entitled Bridezilla, who tries to emotionally blackmail and bully you, and is trying to get other people to join in. Don't let her. And don't ever do shit "for the sake of peace" or "because it's family" - the people who try those lines on you, are the first to leave you hanging when you need them, because what they really mean to say is "Be a doormat for me, now and forever"
    via NefariousnessFresh24
  • 22
    Glum_Reception_4478 First, I have no idea how difficult it is to make a wedding cake, but from your description it sounds like she wants something super elaborate that would take a ton of time and effort for you. If her primary goal was to be under a certain budget, she should have led with that, and worked with you on something that would work for her wedding. The expectation/entitlement is the problem. You're NTA. I get the impulse from your MIL and wife to want to smooth things over by placat
    via Glum_Reception4478
  • 23
    AgateCatCreations076 NTA. AND THIS ↑ tttttt NO WAY WOULD I DO IT ESPECIALLY NOW. 1-HER DISRESPECTING YOUR WORK IN THE FIRST PLACE 2-THE ENTITLED EXPECTATIONS THAT THE CAKE WAS YOUR GIFT 3-I WOULDNT TRUST HER TO PAY EVEN IF YOU CHOSE TO DO IT. 4-I FEEL SHE WOULD STIFF YOU AT PICK UP AND IF SHE DID I WOULD DELIBERATELY TRASH THE CAKE IN FRONT OF HER RATHER THAN ALLOW HER THE GIFT OF YOUR WORK. YES, I KNOW THAT WOULD HURT YOU, BUT IT'S THE PRINCIPAL AND RESPECT THAT'S IMPORTANT HERE. SHE HAS NONE.
    via AgateCatCreations076

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aita discount wedding cakes freeloader baker sister in law wedding wedding cake reddit thread Reddit free entitled people
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