‘They said they only needed to stay at my place for 2-3 nights, I want them to leave ASAP’: Two buddies turn a quick couch-crash into an endless takeover, trashing their friend's 1-bedroom apartment and ignoring every house rule

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  • "AITA for wanting my friends who are on vacation and staying with me, to leave already?"

    "They are very dirty, and disorganized. my apartment looks like a total mess right now"
  • I have a friend (M30) and his buddy (M26) who are staying with me (M33) while they are on vacation. My friend told me they needed a place to stay while in town, so I offered my 1-bedroom apartment (so I technically
  • offered them a couch and an inflatable mattress). I have known my friend for around 5 years, but were only close for 3 of those years. I don't know the friend he brought along.
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  • Now, AITA for wanting them to leave ASAP? They said they only needed to stay at my place for 2- 3 nights, but now it's 5 nights and counting. I asked them an exact
  • date, and somehow things just keep happening so they keep extending (car problems, they booked an excursion, etc). They are very dirty, and disorganized. I
  • am usually a tidy person and my apartment looks like a total mess right now (dirty socks on the floor, dirty dishes everywhere, ashtray). They also stay up until
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  • 2am or so despite being a weekday, and I am not on vacation (they are though). They are loud around my building (mostly families and elderly
  • residents) and don't respect the rules (playing basketball in the pool area, walking around the lobby shirtless). I am just tired of
  • being a tour guide, plus all the stress of having them in my home. I have barely slept, feel tired all day long and have not been productive at all since they arrived. They have been paying
  • for lunches, dinners, etc so they are being very generous, but I still don't think that outweighs the discomfort and stress I feel. I just don't want to be an a h le with them, but I'm close to reaching my limit.
  • What should I do?
  • TeenySod ΝΤΑ Tactful approach: "I know it's not your fault you've had to stay longer than you thought, I need to get back into my normal routine as spending time with you is unfortunately affecting my work and I can't take any time off. I
  • really appreciate you paying for food and we've had some fun trips out, I need you to leave tomorrow, and can help you find a hotel/AirBnB today if your car isn't ready yet."
  • They are taking the . Car breakdown = not their fault/emergency/need to stay extra, let 'em have that one. Booking extra excursions is totally deliberate.
  • If ^ that doesn't work, then time to get tougher, and sadly you may have to be prepared for the friendship to end over it
  • TrashPandaLJTAR NTA. Car problems? Out of their control. Excursions? Entirely in their control. "I'm sorry, I've loved having you visit and it's been fantastic but I'm not on holidays and this is starting to impact on my working life. You'll need to go home tomorrow".
  • Don't offer to help them. Don't offer to figure things out. Just set the line in the sand and then take a big sigh of relief.
  • modmom1111 Speak with them directly and with conviction and tell them that your hospitality has ended. You agreed to 2- 3 days and have gone past that. NTA
  • disabledandpissed Tell them they have to go because you have another coming to stay-...your sanity
  • Traditional-Bag ΝΤΑ Your home is not a hotel. Trashing your home and disrespect of your neighbors is not acceptable.
  • Tell them immediately they must clean up your home & leave.

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