Ex-husband demands to AirTag 8-year-old son while he's on Europe trip with mom, won't share his location with her: 'He will be at least 10 hours of travel away'

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JR Atkinson • Writer and Editor
Apr 27, 2025 10:00 AM EDT

Oftentimes, technology doesn't just change our professional lives. It has a deep impact on our interpersonal lives as well. A new invention can mean new ways of communicating with each other, navigating social situations, and even having surveillance on each other's lives. Back in the day, you had no way of knowing where your child was if they weren't in your direct eyeline. This is why they aired a PSA on television every night that said, "It's 10 PM, do you know where your children are?" So parents wouldn't forget to check up on their offspring if they went off playing in the neighborhood and hadn't come back yet. These were the days before cellphones, before FindMyFriends, and most relevant to our story, before AirTags. 

If you don't know what an AirTag is, it's a little keychain-shaped device that hooks up to FindMy on the iPhone and tracks the object's live location. You're meant to put in on keys, luggage, or anything valuable that needs tracking.

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    via Alice Ruan

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • Some parents, though, have figured out that they can use it to track their children. That's what one father wanted to do to his child as he embarked on a European vacation. The problem was, though, that he wasn't going to be there, and he refused to share it with the kid's mother who was taking him on the trip. Read on for the story and see what you think.

  • 02

    AITA for refusing an AirTag?

    I am taking my son Jack (m8) on an overseas vacation later this year. My ex-spouse Richard (45m) has been saying negative things about the trip and is now insistent we place an AirTag in Jack's shoe so he can track him from his phone. It's created a lot of back and forth with him being very upset. I've traveled with Jack many times without incident, but the badgering from my ex is making me question myself. AITA
    via u/Historical-Safe-7262
  • 03
    Edit:Richard refuses to let me register the AirTag to my phone. He will be at least 10 hours of travel away if not more and a 7 hour difference so not realistically available or able to help if there was an emergency.
    via u/Historical-Safe-7262
  • 04
    He has been very aggressive in the past and can only contact me via a parenting app. All of exchanges of our son also must occur at the police station due to Richard's behavior. Our parenting plan allows me to travel with my son without his approval beyond dates so he can't stop the trip or force me to use an AirTag. Unfortunately when Richard is upset it impacts Jack so that makes me question myself.
    via u/Historical-Safe-7262
  • 05

    Commenters assured her this was an over-the-line ask.

    Errvalunia ⚫ • 11h ago If you do get an AirTag, get one yourself and put it on your account. There's no need to let your ex track you. If it would make you feel better you can share your location and the AirTag with someone you trust like
    via u/Errvalunia
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    your mom, who can involve your ex if something does happen. (I share my location. with my mom when I go hiking so someone knows where to look if my husband and I somehow both fall in a ravine)
    via u/Errvalunia
  • 07
    But what I do with my kids. when we're traveling somewhere busy is I put my phone number on their person-in their pockets, written on their arm, etc. Your kids getting turned around and lost in the crowd is FAR more likely than anything nefarious and 8 is
    via u/Errvalunia
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    old enough to be like "here's my moms number" on a piece of paper when someone asks him if he's lost. (Having your moms phone number in your bags is handy-as a teenager I hadn't memorized my moms work number bc cell phones, so I had it on a slip of paper in case I lost my phone so I
    via u/Errvalunia
  • 09
    could try her at every number when needed. I left my purse behind in a pizzeria out of town and someone called my mom!)
    via u/Errvalunia
  • 10
    . Rayonjersey 11h ago NTA. Compromise and tell him you'll put an air tag but pair it to your own phone. Kid is tagged and no intrusion into your vacation. If he says no, then it's clear it's about spying on you and control. If he says yes, then everyone is happy. Gives you the moral high ground.
    via u/Rayonjersey
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    sidewalksurf • 10h ago NTA, seeing that edit. if he's such an issue that the police have to be around for your safety during custody exchanges and he's only allowed to contact you through a (presumably court approved) parenting app, then it's safe to say he's trying to track you, not keep. your son safe.
    via u/sidewalksurf
  • 12
    i would, however, push to revisit custody arrangements if you not obeying your ex could put your son in harm's way. that's really concerning.
    via u/sidewalksurf
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    BMW 2 GRAND TOUR AZ. Utrecht Utrecht, Ne
    via Maxim Hopman

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 14
    No_Huckleberry... . 11h ago Nta. I wouldn't want my ex tracking my son and thus me, it may be that i am an older generation, but i would fin that really creepy and is also a sign that he thinks you can't be trusted. If your ex is really just worried
    via u/No_Huckleberry2350
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    about safety, tell him you will get an air tag that you have access to, you could even provide access to a trusted third party that he can reach out to in the unlikely event he cannot reach you or your son for 24 hours. That way, he knows that if your son gets lost he can be located quickly and you know that your ex won't be able to track your movements.
    via u/No_Huckleberry2350
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    bh8114 10h ago With your edit you must NOT use an AirTag. Do not give this man access to your every location in a foreign country. If you have to do your exchanges at a police station, then you are not safe enough foreign country with him being able to track you down at any moment.
    via u/bh8114
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    Unfair-Gift921 · 11h ago . are you taking him to Beirut? why the tracker?
    via u/Unfair-Gift921
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    Historical-Safe-7262 OP • 11h ago Nope, Europe. I think it's a control thing, but my ex's reaction is making me question myself.
    via u/Historical-Safe-7262
  • 19
    leftmysoulthere74 . 10h ago This is why I HATE Life369 and others like it. My ex- husband put it on my oldest's phone when she started high-school. Didn't tell me, until he outed himself by calling to question me about why she was at XYZ location. Me: "how the h I do you know *where she is?" (*where we are)
    via u/leftmysoulthere74
  • 20
    I bought her a new phone, connected to my iPhone on a family plan but I don't check the find my iPhone function unless she actually says "mum I can't find find my phone - and since she's a teenager who is permanently attached to it that's rare. I don't need to track her everywhere she goes, I trust her until she gives me reason not to.
    via u/leftmysoulthere74
  • 21
    When you have escaped from an ab ive controlling husband and then find out that he can track your movements, via your kid's devices, it's scary. So OP, you're NTA. Go and enjoy your holiday and don't allow him to track you.
    via u/leftmysoulthere74
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    DMV_Lolli 10h ago Absolutely not. I would feel like it's just a control tactic for the ex to track me. I'd be paranoid that he might be setting me up to have an accident.
    via u/DMV_Lolli
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    Informal_Branch... • 11h ago YOU get an AirTag so YOU can use it in case of emergency. Nothing he can do, he won't know your kid is missing like you will within moments if the worst happens. The ex ain't tracking you, you have additional info just in case. Everyone wins. NTH.
    via u/Informal_Branch_8354
  • 24
    scooby 946 • 11h ago It would be one thing if it was an air tag you were tracking. It is weird that he wants an air tag he can track. NTA
    via u/scooby946
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    Bitter-Paramedic... . 11h ago NTA. If he's tracking your son, he's essentially tracking you as he will be with you most of the time. As a compromise, get an air tag of your own and install the tracking on your phone.
    via u/Bitter-Paramedic-531
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    SumonaFlorence • 10h ago Get the AirTag, allow him to register it to his phone, then. toss it onto a bus.
    via u/SumonaFlorence
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    username-generi... • 10h ago Even if you put your foot down and he gives in I would check all of your kid's stuff the last time he visits his dad to see if your ex hid an AirTag or some other tracking device in your kid's stuff.
    via u/username-generica
  • 28
    I would make sure that you have a written record that you said no along with a written record of his response in case it becomes a legal issue in some way.
    via u/username-generica
  • 29
    . asianingermany 11h ago NTA, just say thank you for the idea and you'll get him an Airtag but will pair it with your own phone.
    via u/asianingermany
  • 30
    nonstopflux ⚫ 9h ago • He's trying to track you, not him. Call your lawyer if he continues.
    via u/nonstopflux
  • 31
    wunderwerks 10h ago As an ex with a crazy ex like that about our custody, you are NTA. This is about control. Become a grey rock. You already have the parenting app. Just respond: Per the legally binding parenting plan we are not required to do so. Consider this conversation closed.
    via u/wunderwerks
  • 32
    kaysowot 9h ago . I'd be getting your car checked to see if he has a tracker on it. If you're overseas he can't stalk and monitor you. Something he's probably able to do at home going by his behaviour.
    via u/kaysowot
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    ScarletNotThatO... 10h ago • NTA. Stick to the agreement and don't give him extra access or control. It will only add headache.
    via u/ScarletNotThatOne

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childcare coparenting aita kids moms AirTag parenting dad divorce cute kids reddit thread parent Reddit raising kids Parenting Fail location parents children vacation Parenting FAILS
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