28-year-old asks her ex-boyfriend to give her a financial settlement for their breakup because she moved internationally to be with him 2 years ago: 'I didn’t ask her to drop out or move, she chose to and I supported her the whole time'

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Senior Editor
Apr 25, 2025 8:00 PM EDT

People will sacrifice a lot for love, even without the guarantee of it lasting forever. I'm sure many of us know people who have moved across the country for the sole purpose of being with a partner, and it went horribly terribly wrong. Who could forget that TikTok of a woman who moved from LA to Texas with her boyfriend who got dumped by him the second all of their stuff was moved into their house? That's obviously an extreme situation, but it's more common than your instincts like to convince you it is when you're head over heels in love with somebody.

Then again, there are always those people who do everything the "unsafe way" in relationships and make it out perfectly fine! They get engaged too early, have kids too young or old, and abandon all common sense for the sake of love and they live happily ever after. 

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  • Unfortunately, the couple in this story was not one of those couples. After 2 years together, they had an amicable breakup because their goals were no longer aligning. The ex-girlfriend had a request for her ex-boyfriend, seeing that she moved internationally to be with him, and people are conflicted over whether the request was unreasonable.

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    Cheezburger Image 10498380032
    via Leandro Crespi (Unsplash+)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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    AITAH for not giving my ex-girlfriend any money after we broke up?

    So my ex 28F and I 30M were together for about 2 years We broke up a couple months ago on good terms no drama no cheating just felt like we were heading in different directions
    via u/Opening-Public-8201
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    Thing is she moved to the US from overseas to be with me and when she did she left a lot behind including dropping out of school While we were together I paid for pretty much everything.
    via u/Opening-Public-8201
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    transat C-GTSY
    via Jason Rosewell

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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    I mean rent bills her car lease her tuition visa stuff etc I was in a position to do it because I had come into a good amount of money through investments and inheritance and I never minded covering things while we were together. And she wasn't working because I was happy for her to run the home.
    via u/Opening-Public-8201
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    She never worked while she lived here we always kind of treated it like "my money is our money" but only in the sense that I was happy to support us
    via u/Opening-Public-8201
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    7669 VISA KALIBRADO 685 0159 VISA
    via Emil Kalibradov

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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    Now that we've split she's asking if I'd be open to giving her a financial settlement to "recognise what she gave up for me” Like she feels she should be compensated for the time and sacrifices she made
    via u/Opening-Public-8201
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    To be clear I didn't ask her to drop out or move she chose to and I supported her the whole time
    via u/Opening-Public-8201
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    I do feel bad that she's now in a rough spot but at the same time we're not married and I don't think I owe her money just because we broke up AITAH for saying no?
    via u/Opening-Public-8201
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    DamiaSugar Perhaps fund the ticket to return her to her home
    via u/DamiaSugar
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    CocoaSprout That's actually a thoughtful idea. If he's feeling conflicted about helping her without overstepping, covering her return might be a middle ground, supportive, but not an ongoing obligation.
    via u/CocoaSprout
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    Certain_Silver6524 I agree. Just give her some money in honour of her making some sacrifices. If you love a person and it wasn't a horrible breakup, just honour them with a final favour, whether its making sure they are up on their feet okay or at home with their family.
    via u/Certain_Silver6524
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    bino0526 OP paid for everything while she was here. Seems like he's given her enough money.
    via u/bino0526
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    WesternUnusual2713 And she ran their household. Domestic labour is still labour. I was simply pointing out that in their reciprocal agreement, he valued her domestic labour as
    via u/WesternUnusual2713
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    equal contribution, which the commenter I'm replying to implied was zero contribution. OP does mention this, it is in a comment I think And finally she left her country and family behind for this relationship.
    via u/WesternUnusual2713
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    scarves_and_miracles For two adults with no kids, the "domestic labour" is next to nothing. Maybe an hour-and-a-half per day if that. This relationship was a 2-year vacation for her, with the vast majority of her days open to leisure on OP's dime. He doesn't owe her anything.
    via u/scarves_and_miracles
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    Virtual-System-4324 i was pretty invested in this story. i demand compensation!
    via u/Virtual-System-4324
  • 19
    EntertainmentClean99 See this is why you don't give up everything for someone you're not gonna marry... NTA
    via u/EntertainmentClean99
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    whattheheckOO *don't give up everything for someone you're not ALREADY married to. Probably this girl thought she was going to marry OP eventually. Nothing is guaranteed, people shouldn't make dumb financial decisions without legal protections.
    via u/whattheheckOO
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    CleanPerspective2345 Hard agree. You supported her during the relationship, that was your choice and it was generous. But breakups don't come with severance packages. She made her own decisions.
    via u/CleanPerspective2345
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    moderatenormal NTA. It's icky for her to even ask. Let grown adults do the grown adult thing.
    via u/moderatenormal
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    Bartok_The_Batty I'm guessing that she was on a student VISA. If so, how was she going to work?
    via u/Bartok_The_Batty
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    Maemos This. I feel like he is being purposely obtuse in the way of explaining her living situation. He mentions "tuition visa" which means she was studying AND taking care of the house. So it's not like she wasn't doing anything by day. But to come to this conclusion you meed to read a bit deeper then what he explained. A bit sus. If she can't work on a student Visa, as you mention, while being there, it puts her in a very delicate situation. So consider both things - being obtuse and somehow m
    via u/Maemos
  • 25
    danbilllemon The whole "I never asked her to move to me" hints that you're correct.
    via u/danbilllemon

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international boyfriend students ex girlfriend ex boyfriend relationships girlfriend financial exes breakup financial support money college student breakups
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