Wealthy aunt tells sister-in-law-to-be that her 6 and 8-year-old step-niblings will never see a dime of their family money after she complains about her prenup: 'She said we are greedy and cruel to [her] kids'

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Brad Dickson • Managing Editor
Apr 28, 2025 12:00 PM EDT

Money is to family as kerosene is to a fire: It keeps things burning when carefully managed, but can get out of control and burn everything down without careful tending. Even if you think you're managing a tenuous relationship with your selfish or opportunistic relatives, the gloves will come off as soon as inheritance comes into the picture. It's a well-known stereotype that wealthy families horde their money like a dragon sitting on a pile of gold, and will guard any matter of inheritance carefully. Being sure to stamp out anything that might become a legal issue and divide the family's wealth somewhere down the road.

It's painful to think that two of her children might live harder lives and not have the windfall of cash (in the form of inheritance) that any other child she might have would have. But it wouldn't be the first time someone didn't get an inheritance that they were otherwise in close proximity to, and it's far from the most unfair.

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  • 01
    I (27F) have a brother (33M) who has been dating his girlfriend Sarah for 2 years and he proposed a couple of moths ago. Sarah has 2 kids from her previous relationship 8M & 6F. I would say that my parents and I are not very close to Sarah and her kids but we are cordial and never had any problems before.
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    Cheezburger Image 10499261184
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    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • Bringing up something to do with your personal relationship with your spouse at a family dinner is never going to be a good idea, especially when it's with your spouse's family. When you're with the in-laws, you're always going to be on the back foot, you're never going to win any battle, let alone one you somehow decide to pick with the entire family.

     

  • 03
    My partner, I, bro and Sarah attended the Easter dinner at my parents and that's when the drama happened. Sarah's kids were at their father's so Sarah used this celebration to confront us about my brother requesting a prenup. Basically my brother explained to her that he expects them to sign a prenup and that only his biological kids will have the right to inherit anything from our family assests.
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  • 04
    This is something that we as a family discussed before and we all agree that only our children should receive assests or money from our inheritance. My brother is free to pay whatever he wants for his stepchildren out of his own money, but my children and his bio children will never have to share anything that our family has with them.
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  • 05
    Sarah claimed that we are being unfair and that we are treating her and her kids like some strangers instead of embracing them like family. She said that the normal and decent thing to do was for us to see her kids like my brother's kids who should have equal rights to any children they may have together. I told her sure, after she gets married to my brother she will become our in law and her kids will
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  • 06
    be my brother's stepchildren but this does not mean we have to share anything with them. I asked her, will my future kids receive anything from her parents or from their bio father's parents? She said no obviously so I asked her than why would her kids be entitled to receive anything from us? Sarah said because they will be our family so I told her that we have plenty of cousins that are also family but I don't go around wishing to share my inheritance with them.
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  • 07
    There was a lot more back and forth between us and Sarah was not letting this go. My brother asked her to stop because we were there to celebrate Easter, not to have this kind of conversation but she kept on going saying we need to clarify it once and for all. I told her from where we stand everything is clear and it is only her who has a problem. She said
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  • 08
    we are greedy and cruel to some kids and I snapped. I told her to deal with it. She is free to work her a off and gather assets to leave to her children but we will never divide anything outside of our family and she should not expect her children to be our problem or burden to finance.
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  • 09
    I honestly feel she is very manipulative and is using my brother for what she and her kids can get from him but that's my brother's problem to decide if this is the kind of partner he wants. I just want to know if I was too blunt in telling her the truth.
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  • 10
    OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the a hle: I honestly told my SIL why her kids will never receive any inheritance from us. I was told that I was a little to harsh in the way I put it so this is why it might make me the AH
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  • 11
    CSurvivor9 Since you're talking about inheritance from your parents, what you've all decided previously and all want to continue is certainly up to you. Your brother having a prenup and a detailed will is a good idea.
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  • 12
    Since she brought it up and wouldn't let it drop, NTA. But, your title is suggestive of more than that. You'll still give gifts to her kids the same as their kids if they have them, right? You're not going to be obvious they are second class citizens, right?
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  • 13
    LowBalance4404 Basically my brother explained to her that he expects them to sign a prenup and that only his biological kids will have the right to inherit anything from our family assets. Info: Is this even necessary in a prenup? Who your parents leave things to is up to them
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  • 14
    and not your brother. If there is a family trust, names have to be added to it. If your parents are still alive if your brother divorces, I don't quite understand how what your parents own would be impacted.
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  • 15
    PsychologyAutomat... NTA. She kept pushing for something her children are not entitled to. A lot of inheritances are set up where only descendants inherit anything. Sarah is out of line for making this an issue. If your brother doesn't get a prenup he will definitely regret it if they split.
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  • 16
    nim_opet ESH. This is your parents' money and none of your business. To top it off, it's your brother's prenup, and his relationship, so again... none of your business.
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  • 17
    Benevolent-Snark Umm...you would not need a prenup for assets passed down like that. They're not his bio kids. They aren't entitled to anything by default. The clause in the prenup is creating an unnecessary problem. It's a chicken sh way to express that he's really not into you like that.
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  • 18
    I DO believe that the OP'S family probably treats Sarah and her children a certain way.
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  • 19
    Suitab... Edit: YTA for sure. OP stated that if he received the inheritance, then d d and had no kids, the inheritance would transfer to OP or OP's kids instead. His wife should 100% receive whatever he has leftover after he dies and I imagine that's what a large part of the argument probably is that is
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  • 20
    conveniently being left out. He is extremely selfish for not leaving anything to his spouse and you all are greedy for insisting on that INFO what happens if your brother dies? Will his wife receive any of his portion of the inheritance (assuming he ded after receiving the inheritance) if they have no kids?
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  • 21
    External Medicine_... I guess I'm in the minority here because I think YTA. First, why would YOUR kids receive anything from her family or her ex's family? That isn't even the same thing and was a dumb comparison. Stepkids should be treated as family. I was a stepkid and couldn't imagine being excluded from a family that I
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  • 22
    spent years with loving. Let's assume your parents have another 40 years to live, are you saying there will never be a bond where they love those kids as their own? Maybe I'm misunderstanding what the prenup is. Is this excluding them if your brother and Sarah ever get divorced or is this just the deal? They get
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  • 23
    nothing period? I guess I also don't understand why the inheritance is going to grandkids. My "step" grandparents are sitting on a lot of money because of farming. That money is going to my mom and step-dad but will eventually trickle to me once they are gone. Why isn't it your brothers right to give his inheritance to who he wants? If he's marrying a
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  • 24
    woman with kids he should love those children just as much as his own and I think your "rule" is dumb.
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  • 25
    excel_pager_420 NTA But stay out of it now. You were clear that why inheritance would not be shared and Sarah didn't have an answer as to why their kids bio Dad wouldn't share the inheritance with your kids. Refuse to engage if she tries again.
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