Girlfriend visits boyfriend on work trip, dumps him after he expects her to babysit niece so he can play football: 'He says that since he is letting me stay for free that I could spare a day to babysit'

Author image for Isabella Penn
Isabella Penn
May 1, 2025 9:00 PM EDT

Love has a funny way of making us overlook red flags. When you're in a relationship, it's easy to justify your partner's blatantly selfish actions just to keep the peace. You convince yourself it's no big deal, or that maybe you're overreacting, because you want to avoid unnecessary conflict. But sometimes, all it takes is the unbiased opinion of a few hundred strangers online to give you the clarity you need. That's exactly what happened with this girlfriend.

She was visiting her boyfriend while he was on a long-term work trip, and everything seemed fine at first. They had some quiet downtime until, one day, he dropped a bombshell. He casually told her that his niece was coming to stay with them for the weekend and that she would be responsible for watching her while he played football. Oh, and no sightseeing for her, either. She'd be stuck babysitting. After trying to brush it off, she realized that she had to draw the line. After all, this wasn't the vacation she'd planned. Was she overreacting, or was it time to make a tough call?

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    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • "AITA for refusing to babysit my BFs niece during my vacation?"

    I am currently visiting my bf while he is on a long term work trip. I arrived Saturday and I'm staying for a week and a half. This first weekend was uneventful because he was feeling very sick. I
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  • stayed in all day Saturday and helped clean up his place and paid attention to him. On Sunday he felt well enough to go out and play football for 4 1/2 hours. I watched him for the first hour before
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    4 ½ hours seems a little excessive if you ask me. He couldn't dip out a little early to spend time with his girlfriend who traveled to see him? Or better yet, not go at all? Girl, this is your first warning sign.

    Also, are we forgetting that he was literally "very sick" the day before?…….

  • Cheezburger Image 10499904512
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  • walking the city and catching a drop in pedicure. He still has to work during the weekdays, so this morning while I was still getting ready he sent me a text saying:
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  • "My niece is coming to stay Saturday and Sunday, I'm bringing her to football and you have to watch her, so no walking the city for you."
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  • I was FURIOUS. First of all, I'm on vacation. I did NOT sign up to babysit for a full weekend of this trip. I asked how old she was, since if she's old enough to stay here by herself is she not old enough to
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  • stay by the picnic area while he plays? He doesn't even know how old she is, only that "she needs a guardian" I'm also devastated because that was the only
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  • weekend where we could go out while he was off. I told him specifically months ago that I wanted to go on a certain tour with him on his day off and he's apparently forgotten. When I
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  • reminded him, he said we could go after work on Friday. That's taking a full day experience and chopping it in half. He says that since he is letting me stay for free
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  • that I could spare a day to babysit his niece while he plays football. He gets his housing paid for by his work and also IM HIS GIRLFRIEND?? Like why wouldn't I stay for free what are you going to do, charge me hotel fees?
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  • AITA for freaking out about this? EDIT FOR CLARITY: By refusing to babysit his niece I am effectively forcing him to drop his activities to watch over her. I had no prior notice
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  • of her coming while I was visiting, he waited until he left work to tell me. I don't know if he knew she was coming and waited to tell me or if he just found out himself.
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  • celticmusebooks Wait... he invited his niece for the weekend but doesn't know how old she is?
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    His NIECE. This is what we're all actually concerned about. 

  • Mean-Impress2103 Nta girl go home early and drop him or pay for the hotel and enjoy your week there if it is a place you
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  • want to explore. Drop no matter what. This is a bf not a husband and you actually don't have to work through every issue. He doesn't care about your wants or your plans.
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  • This was a special week for you that you were excited for, it wasn't special for him and he didn't plan for it. He wasn't exited, and he didn't adjust his schedule to cater to your visit at all it
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  • soynds like beyond how he can use you. He doesn't even know her age or anything about her. That means he doesn't care about family very much so expect that level of idgaf in other
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  • areas of your personal life. If he doesn't know anything about her then clearly he isn't routinely caring for her so how did he end up with her now?
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  • Did he volunteer because he knew you were there. Did his family know you were coming and they just told him you were doing it?
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  • He doesn't take care of his niece but you should have to? Why because you are a woman. Expect him to push off caretaking responsibilities on you forever because after all you're just a woman, your time
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  • effort and wants have no value. He didn't even ask he just ordered you to provide free childcare for someone you don't even know.
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  • One-Writer-4376 NTA- Him mentioning me staying with him for free would have sent me off the edge. Like do I charge you for P****!!???
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  • IDK how long you've been together but it sounds like he doesn't really care much about your interests. He was "sick" the days you wanted to do something but had enough strength to play football for 4.5
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  • to play football for 4.5 hrs the next day? Then casually says "no walking around for you" which is what you did while he played football. If he's away for work and you're visiting, why can't he skip
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  • football to do the things you planned to do. He's adding his niece to the mix to find a reason to keep you from roaming around. I don't know him well enough, but it's giving controlling from this little story.
    via One-Writer-4376

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boyfriend drama niece visit relationships girlfriend babysitting love family football dating entitled people vacation
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