21-year-old twin repeatedly chooses brother over his girlfriend, he finally breaks it off with her when it becomes clear she can't handle the dynamic: "I feel like I'm in a relationship with you and your brother"

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    AITA breaking up with my girlfriend because she didn't like close am with my twin brother?

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    I (M21) have a twin brother. We've been best friends our entire lives. We live together in an apartment near our college campus. It's just always been easy we understand each other, we split the rent, and honestly, it's like having a built-in best friend around 24/7.
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    E
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    About 8 months ago, I started dating my now-ex In the beginning, everything was fine. She thought it was "cute" how close my brother and I were. But after a few months, her attitude started changing.
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    She started making little comments about how I should "grow up" and "get my own life." She hated that I lived with my brother, said it was "weird" that two adults would still want to live together if they weren't forced to. She even once joked that it was like we were a "package deal," but not in a funny way more like she genuinely resented it.
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    It got worse when she found out that if my brother and I were both free, I'd usually choose to hang out with him over her. (It's not like I ignored her I made plenty of time for her, but if my brother and I had plans, I didn't cancel them unless it was something serious.)
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    when we were arguing and she said, "I feel like I'm in a relationship with you and your brother. It's suffocating. No girl is going to want to play second to him."
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    I realized in that moment that she didn't just dislike how close we were she didn't respect it. She saw it as something immature or abnormal, instead of understanding that it's just who I am and how I was raised.
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    So, I broke up with her. Now I'm wondering if I was too harsh. But at the same time, I don't think I could have stayed with someone who saw one of the most important parts of my life as a flaw. AITA?
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    Creative-Ad-1363 Maybe she just wasn't the right person for you. You'd rather hang with ur brother than her. That speaks volumes. You did her a favor.
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    keemeeBlaster Exactly! It's not about choosing one over the other, it's about finding someone who respects your existing, deeply important relationships. She wasn't willing to accept that, and that's okay.
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    Randa08 I your comment about if she and he were free you would choose to spend time with him would probably say it all for me.
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    dr_pezzz Did you ignore the bit in brackets where he clarified that he wouldn't change plans with his brother if he had already made them, not that he ignored his gf in favour of his brother?
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    I'm gonna go with NTA here. I've known 3 sets of twins in my lifetime and it's not just a sibling relationship- they're just closer that way (usually, not always, before someone comes out with their own story). To outsiders, a lifetime of growing up at the same time, going through life at the same
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    time and often in the same way as someone else creates a bond that few can understand - you're not just linked by bl d like siblings who are of similar age are, you are also bonded by the fact that you grew in the same womb as each other... at the same time.
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    You also ignored that the gf found it weird that, as adults, that they'd even WANT to live together. Idk, but it just seems like she had different family dynamics to him growing up. Either way, it seems like OP and her bf are incompatible as a couple.
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    Independent-Moose113 NTA, but neither is your ex. Many twins are super close, and it is frustrating for someone who wants to be in a relationship with one. I know several sets of male bachelor twins (in their 40s-60s) who still live together, never married or had familes.
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    lilfurrykewtie My ex had a relationship like this with his brother and it's why we broke up. He would rather hang with his brother in his free time and that showed me how little I meant. Nothing wrong with wanting to be a bachelor with your brother, it just doesn't leave room for a romantic relationship when siblings are this codependent.
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    NightWolfRose Right? 21 is nothing for people living together/ having roommates. H I, a LOT of people are still living with their parents at that age, especially if they're in school!
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    Y2Flax Soft NTA - you need to realize that nobody will want to be with your forever if you always choose your brother over your SO. Boundaries need to be made man!
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    anonidfk Yeah this pretty much every girl would be upset if they felt like their partner was choosing. someone else over them every time, and if they felt like their partners sibling was a third party in the relationship.
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    Similar_Corner8081 NAH She isn't wrong for not wanting to be in a relationship with you and your brother or come second to him. You aren't wrong for picking your sibling over a gf.
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    Little-Martha31204 NTA. At 21 years old, it is absolutely normal for two people to live together. It's called "having a roommate." Just because he's your brother doesn't change that. Maybe the issue is that she doesn't
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    understand siblings, especially twins. Maybe she's just jealous. Who knows. But at any rate, it sounds like you have a healthy relationship with your brother and made the right choice for you.

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