29-year-old confronts best friend about not wanting to split everything 50/50 for girls trip due to her financial situation, sparking backlash: '[Stop] pretending to still be poor'

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Ben Weiss • Writer and Editor
Apr 30, 2025 4:00 PM EDT

The social anxiety that comes with splitting the bill with your peers can truly make or break friendships. That's why you have to extend some courtesy and grace to one another when it comes to money. Everyone has a different situation, and all parties need to be both self-aware and respectful of those respective situations.

If the split reactions to this story serve as an indicator of anything, it's further proof that how friends handle money with one another can be delicate at best and wildly divisive at worst. Here, we have two best friends who were planning a girls' trip, and through figuring out logistics, one finally confronted the other about the discomfort she felt regarding their financial differences. It's safe to say that this confrontation backfired pretty quickly. Keep scrolling below for the full anecdote and for the contradictory feedback she got from members of the online community.

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    APTIO onde
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    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • This 29-year-old author was always uncomfortable about the fact that she and her best friend split everything 50/50 when her friend made significantly more money than her. Now that she had finally gotten the job she deserved with a far better salary, the author was expected to splurge even more when their friend group planned an upcoming vacation. That's when the author decided to confront her bestie about her discomfort, and let's just say that her bestie did not take it well.

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    I (29F) have been friends with "Carly" (30F) since high school. We've always been really close, but money was always
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    but money was always kind of a sore spot. She's been in a high-paying tech job for years, and I've always worked more modest jobs in non- profits.
    via Patient-Hunt9224
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    Whenever we'd travel together, eat out, or go to events, we'd always "split" everything 50/50,
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    even though it honestly hurt my budget. I didn't complain, but it definitely caused some resentment on my side.
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    This past year, though, things changed. I got a better job (finally making over $90k), plus I had some extra money come
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    in from personal side hustle I'm doing. I'm not rich by any means, but I'm way more comfortable now.
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    Here's where I might be the a hle: Carly recently suggested a girls' trip to Europe. She
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    picked all the hotels (4- star, expensive ones), fancy dinners, private tours, the works. She assumed we'd split everything 50/50, like we always have.
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    I told her I wasn't comfortable with that this time. I said if we were going to do a big trip, I'd want to do it my way,
    via Patient-Hunt9224
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    Cheezburger Image 10500004096
    via Unsplash+ (Getty Images)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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    cheaper hotels, some street food, fewer paid tours. I could afford the fancy version now... but honestly, it feels wasteful to me, and I don't want to get trapped in this lifestyle creep.
    via Patient-Hunt9224
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    Carly accused me of "pretending to still be poor" and trying to cheap out. She said that now that I'm doing better, I
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    should act like it. A few of our mutual friends kind of agree with her - they think I should just "live a little" and split things like always.
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    Montene... 22h ago • You don't have to go on that trip. Honestly, what is with people who literally plan everything and then are like "Why aren't you going?". You told
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    her your conditions. If she isn't ready to meet you halfway, then no is an appropriate answer.
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    You could have as much money as Jeff Besos, still doesn't condition you into staying in 4 star hotels
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    • • 21h ago Edited 18 Splitting everything 50/50 is the right move. But that means the two of you should be selecting the hotels,
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    restaurants etc on what both of you are comfortable paying. You agreed to go on those other trips. Not sure why you're complaining now. You could have said no.
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    And if you don't want to pay for a luxury trip this time say no. Plan your own trip with the amount you are comfortable spending.
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    • Necessa... 22h ago She doesn't get to spend your money. NTA.
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    Bulbasa... 22h ago Gonna go with YTA because your attitude, and attitude only.
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    All you had to say was "won't be able to attend this planned trip, it's outside my budget"
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    The rest of this, where you think she should've been paying for you because she makes more, that's gross and entitlement.
    via Patient-Hunt9224
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    It "caused resentment” that you had to pay your fair share? Ha, ah le mindset.
    via Patient-Hunt9224

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friendship aita AITAH best friends friends girlfriends entitled people karma girls trip entitled people
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