Sister-in-law who dropped off her cat at her brother's place 6 months ago because she "couldn’t deal with her right now" suddenly comes back, demanding the cat to be given back to her: 'she goes off on me saying I’m “stealing” her cat'

Author image for Mariel Ruvinsky
Mariel Ruvinsky • Writer and Editor
May 5, 2025 9:00 AM EDT

Owning a cat is a seriously responsibility. We know that a lot of people think that cats are low maintenance, and maybe relatively to some other animals, they are, but that doesn't mean that there isn't a lot that you need to know about them. You need to know all kinds of things. Like why do cats bite you, and does that mean that they dislike you? And how do you get a cat to drink more water when they don't feel like it? And every once in a while, you will have to take your cat to vet and pay thousands of dollars because your cat ate too fast and has a tummy ache. 

All that to say that… if you are not ready for a cat, do not adopt a cat. It's okay to want a cat and realize that now is not the time. It's okay to wait. It's better than doing what the person in this story did - which is toss their cat off on someone else because they "can't deal with her right now". 

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  • 01

    "[Am I wrong] for not giving my sister-in-law back her cat after she “rehomed” it to me without telling me it was temporary?"

    [My sister-in-law] "rehomed" the cat to me without telling me it was temporary
    via Unsplash / Patrick Pahlke - p_pixels_p

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • Moving cats around is always a difficult thing to do. Moves are hard for cats. Changes are hard for them. You cannot just - out of the blue, after the cat has adjusted - come back and demand to get it. The cat's needs have to be put first at this point. 

  • 02
    so my husband's sister dropped off her cat at our place 6 months ago saying she "couldn't deal with her right now” cuz she was pregnant and her toddler was "allergic" (this kid eats dog hair off the floor so idk).
    via stellaellee
  • 03
    anyway I love this cat. she settled in, we bought her a little cactus- shaped tower, got her vet care (she had a tooth rotting out??), even changed her name from "Princess Muffin" to Beans because Princess Muffin is stupid.
    via stellaellee
  • 04
    now SIL has the baby and suddenly texts me like "hey when can we come get Muffin back?" and I said um no? she said she never gave her up permanently and I was just "fostering" which is never a thing we agreed on.
    via stellaellee
  • 05
    I literally spent $400 on this cat's vet bill. she goes off on me saying I'm selfish and cruel and "stealing" her cat and my husband is like half on her side for the sake of peace but no. this is Beans' home now. AITAH?
    via stellaellee
  • 06
    ElehcarTheFirst • 1d ago Funny thing about fostering... The rescue or the owner pays all the bills the food and everything else. At this point, you've had the cat 6 months. It almost every jurisdiction in the United States, that is abandonment of the animal..
    via ElehcarTheFirst
  • 07
    additionally, you are the one providing vet care and I'm assuming you can provide receipts showing that you paid for it The animal is yours. The sister can go f off
    via ElehcarTheFirst
  • 08
    Cheezburger Image 10501306368
    via Unsplash / Patrick Pahlke - p_pixels_p

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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  • 09
    jedimedic123 • 1d ago NTA. Is her kid magically no longer "allergic?" When was she going to address the rotting tooth? She didn't have any intentions of getting the cat back 6 months ago.
    via jedimedic123
  • 10
    If she insists, YOU insist on getting reimbursed for the vet bills plus 6 months of litter, food, toys, etc, BEFORE giving the cat back. That's what fosters do -- watch pets in their homes while having no financial responsibility to them because the shelter/rescue/private party covers those expenses.
    via jedimedic123
  • 11
    Red CJ 1d ago "I can't deal with her right now." It sounds like maybe she did imply she would want the cat back. I agree with other people. Give her the vet bill. See what she says then.
    via Red_CJ
  • 12
    I had a coworker who had me take his dog. It was supposed to be temporary. Long story short, he's a family dog now. Coworker went to come get him. Dog didn't wanna go with him. So he decided to leave him permanently. This might end up being the case.
    via Red_CJ
  • 13
    Cheezburger Image 10501306880
    via Unsplash / Patrick Pahlke - p_pixels_p

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • It should have been made very, very clear from the get-go that this wasn't a permanent thing - both so that the humans wouldn't get too used to the cat and so that the cat would understand, based on their vibes and behavior, based on you coming to visit as often as you could, that this wouldn't be its permanent home either. 

  • 14
    CottonCandi_ • 1d ago nope, NTA. she abandoned her cat with no clear plan or timeline, didn't contribute to her care, and you've taken full responsibility, emotionally and financially. six months is a long time, and during that time, Beans became part of your family.
    via CottonCandi_
  • 15
    No-Windows 1d ago There was a point in time where I had to rehome my cat. While she lived there, I came over at least once a week (often more, but rarely my schedule only allowed once) to spend time with her, feed her, clean her litter box etc. and I bought the litter and food for her whole duration there. I would never understand people who act like your sister in law.
    via No-Windows
  • 16
    Classic Ad3987 • 1d ago If you haven't already, get Beans chipped with your information so when she tries to steal him or your hubby caves and just hands her over, you gave proof for the police that the kitty is yours. The chip plus the vet records will prove Beans is yours.
    via Classic_Ad3987
  • 17
    Cheezburger Image 10501306624
    via Unsplash / Patrick Pahlke - p_pixels_p

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 18
    z-eldapin 1d ago In the US, cats are considered property. And in almost all states, abandoned property is up to the discretion of the property holder after 30 days. There are a couple of states that say 60 days for property. No is a complete sentence.
    via z-eldapin
  • 19
    No 'pay me back', no 'I've spent this much'. Just no. She abandoned her property and this property is yours to do with what you will. Which is keep that catto
    via z-eldapin

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