Family member orders ancestry kit as a gift for the family, leads Irish mom to discover her dad isn't her biological father: ‘Turns out she has no Irish DNA’

Author image for Bar Mor Hazut
Bar Mor Hazut • Senior Editor
May 6, 2025 1:00 PM EDT

When all those ancestry kits started becoming popular, we all thought they were this cute thing that could help you discover a bit more about your history. Find out that you are actually 6% Italian, even though none of your grandparents even set foot in Italy, or find out that your unexplained green-colored eyes are a little genetic piece you inherited from your great-great aunt.

Most people go about these tests as inconspicuously as they can, simply wanting to find out more about their family. But every once in a while, someone's entire life changes by this one test, learning things they never even imagined about their family. One guy finds out they have a twin brother they never knew about, and a woman discovers her mother had an affair, and the man she thought was her father is actually a complete (biological) stranger.

That is exactly what happened to the woman in the story below, after her kid decided to get this ancestry kit as a fun gift for the family.

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  • The family member who bought this kit didn't think much of it, just that it would be a fun activity to do as a family. When the discovery was made, their mom took it really personally and blamed them for ruining her entire identity. So if you even considered buying an ancestry kit yourself, maybe first read the story below and think about it a bit more.

  • 01
    "My mom says I destroyed her identity"
    via Thiago José Amaral

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 02

    "I ordered a DNA test as a fun gift for my family and ended up destroying 40 years of family history"

    I was scrolling on tiktok and I saw one where some guy bought some ancestry kits to use with his family. It looked fun and a completely different thing compared to
    via Far-Extension-3411
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    the usual gifts and recently I got a tax return so I figured I'd buy some for my family members as a small little gift. I'm very into genealogy and figured we'd learn some cool
    via Far-Extension-3411
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    stuff about our heritage. Fun fact before we continue: my mom's always been proud of her Irish roots from her dad's side.
    via Far-Extension-3411
  • 05
    We ran them up and the results came back: My mom has 0% Irish DNA. Turns out her "dad" wasn't her biological father. I almost fainted. I literally just
    via Far-Extension-3411
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    couldn't believe it. When we asked my 89-year-old grandmother (who has dementia), she admitted to having an affair. She never told anyone for 65 years. I
    via Far-Extension-3411
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    swear I thought this stuff only happens in movies cuz how did I end up experiencing this with my own family?! My mom hasn't spoken to
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    me in three weeks. She says I destroyed her identity. 3 weeks later and I still don't know why the f did I end up doing this. I wish I could go back in time and never do it
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    TLDR: I bought some ancestry kits for my family and turns out my mom's dad isn't her biological father
    via Far-Extension-3411
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    Corand ma Grand pa Mom DAD ME ree
    via Lokibaho

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 11
    forestapee Oof and the person she should actually be upset with has dementia so can't even direct it there. What a lose lose
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    AdaMan82 Lots of high schools stopped using b d type to teach Mendelian genetics/Punnett squares specifically because every now and then they would discover that some kid was the product of an affair and it was destroying people's lives.
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    Sorry to hear about this for you, but your mom shouldn't be mad at you. It's not your fault her mom had an affair. Blaming you is a really inappropriate approach.
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    Tremenda-Carucha It's crazy how something meant to connect you to your roots ended up unraveling a whole part of your family's story... but I hope this opens up some honest conversations that bring you closer in the long run.
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    Jaci_D My girl friend did this with her sister and they were half sisters. I have a past post/comment about how bad the fallout was
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    hgeyer99 My wife's mother is loud and proud about her polish heritage, their kit came back 0% polish and mostly Russian. She chose to ignore that and continues to be polish on holidays.
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    lyncati As a former therapist, upon reading this, I must ask; did you do the DNA test with the intention of blowing up your family? Of course not. You are NOT at fault for this and don't let
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    anyone make you feel like you are. Your grandmother is the one who lied and set up the variables where this was bound to happen sooner or later. I am sorry your mother has chosen to project her hurt onto you.
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  • 19
    IWasSayingBoourner Tying so much of your personal identity to where your ancestors happened to end up that something like this makes you stop talking to your kid is probably not healthy
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    LewdKantian Your mother is behaving like a child. Jeez.
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    IridiumFlare96 Nah you didn't do anything to purposely hurt anyone. You mom might just be frustrated but she will probably come around and see that it doesn't really matter.
    via d

Tags

family drama ancestors identity kids mother siblings irish reddit story parenting dna test family DNA Reddit grandmother women parents children Father
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