Adult man refuses to eat anything but mac-n-cheese and chicken fingers, girlfriend breaks it off with him before going on vacation: "I will have to plan my entire day around finding food he can eat"

Having a restricting diet shouldn't be the thing that ends and ruins your relationships. I was a vegan for about 8 years, and I am still a vegetarian. All of my friends eat meat, and I really don't expect them all to want to go to a meatless restaurant just for me. We usually try to find an option that suits everyone, and if they're really set on a place that doesn't have anything that I can eat, I just eat before or bring my own snacks. Similarly, when my omnivore boyfriend and I travel, he is interested in trying all of the local, and typically meaty, cuisines. I never stop him from enjoying, even if we won't eat the same things.

In our story today, a young woman comes to the conclusion that she cannot date a man with a limited palette. Unfortunately, her boyfriend is a picky eater – the type to only eat processed foods. While fried food can be found all over the world, our protagonist worries that she will not have any fun if she's trying to cater to his preferences. Scroll down for an interesting discussion on shared values, traveling, and picky eaters. 

Author image for Ely Bulnes Ely Bulnes
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  • 01

    AITA for not letting my boyfriend come on vacation with me because he's a picky eater?

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  • 02
    My boyfriend has tons a food restrictions and is picky in general. He basically can only eat chicken. fingers, grilled cheese, Mac and cheese, and pad Thai. Ive never seen him eat a vegetable. We just
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  • 03
    started dating a few months ago and I love him, but I eat everything and am very laid back. I know I will have to plan my entire day around finding food he can eat, on top of listening to him complain that
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  • 04
    things aren't the same. Even if a restaurant does have chicken fingers or Mac and cheese, it won't be the same as what we get at home and I just dont want to hear about it while Im on vacation. AITA? I feel bad.
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    EDIT: I am breaking up with him. After seeing a glimpse into my future via your responses, I realized I cannot do this and it will eventually wreck us. Thank you.
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  • 07
    Savvy-Snail4112 NTA.. told myself NEVER again with the picky eaters after dating a chicken finger man lol somehow it will always be you who is expected to plan the meals too I understand not liking some things but unless this is medical/allergies there's a point where this is just stuck up and annoying as a fully grown man.
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  • 08
    makeme_f4f_pdx OP Imao honestly, the level of irritation I am experiencing when people on here suggest | should just let him come and listen to his complaints are really making me realize I need to end things. Im not that bothered by it now but low key, I think I would be embarrassed if other people
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  • 09
    knew he could only eat chicky fingies and choky milk and the thought of taking him to an event or a dinner with friends/family and having him eat like a toddler makes me already experience second hand embarrassment. He literally cannot even eat nice street tacos. only taco bell.
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    West Covina1234 "He basically can only eat chicken fingers, grilled cheese, Mac and cheese, and pad Thai." He *can* only eat those things or he will only eat those things? I have a friend with an unusual disease such that she literally can only eat three things, but that's
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  • 11
    a fair cry from being a super picky eater who *will* only eat a few things. Assuming from your description that this is a pickiness issue, not a health issue, I wouldn't take him with me either. He would definitely bring down your enjoyment in the trip. NTA.
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    makeme_f4f_pdx OP He says he was never fed other things growing up and now he cant stand the taste of regular food. He really only like processed food.
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  • 14
    fsuman110 Info. Does he even want to go? Have you told him the reason why you don't want him to go? If so, how'd he react? Does your boyfriend acknowledge his childish eating habits and would he be adult enough to know better than to constantly complain while abroad if you talked to him about it beforehand?
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    As an anecdote, I live in Japan and had a friend and her boyfriend come visit me. My friend's boyfriend was also a very picky eater was insufferable during their visit and essentially ruined the trip for my friend. He couldn't even eat yakisoba because it had bits of cooked cabbage in it, so they ended up going
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  • 16
    to KFC, McDonald's and Mister Donuts every single day they were here. No sushi, no okonomiyaki, no curry, no ramen, no tonkatsu. Can you imagine coming all the way to Japan and not being able to enjoy that stuff. My friend was so ed and they ended up breaking up shortly after they got back to the U.S. p
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  • 17
    SubstantialNature368 So... you love him in between meals?
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    Fragrant-Sail-6002 Oof yeah that's a no from me. I travel a lot and I could never date a picky eater. As someone who's been to Turkey twice, I can guarantee that they don't have grilled cheese. You're right about wasting time finding food for him even though it sounds like a preference, not a real dietary restrictions.
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    And this might just be me..... But if I were to take partner to Italy and they ordered just a plain cheese pizza, or to Thailand and they ordered buttered noodles, or to Spain and they ordered white rice... I would be humiliated to be seen as "ugly Americans" who don't appreciate culture. Food is culture. If this is an issue, this isn't the relationship for you.
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  • 20
    My partner had not traveled internationally and had a relatively simple diet when we met. But he was super open to trying new foods and ended up liking most of them. We traveled to Portugal and got a tasting menu that included Sardine Flan... Not only did we both try it, we both LOVED it.
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  • 21
    If you stay with him, you'll never try a tasting menu with him for the rest of your life. And no vegetables? Immiturity like that gives me the ick. Live your life girl. Be free. Don't be burdened by his bulls.
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    Fragrant-Sail-6002 Can you imagine?! He won't try the jamon, won't try the olive oil, won't try paella, begs you to take him to McDonalds each day... It really is a waste and not the way I'd want to travel. It's literally like traveling with a child.
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  • For some people, enjoying food together is a really big deal. If someone really values bonding with their partner through food, it can be hard to be with someone with a limited diet.

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    Queasy-Ad4289 Info: Does he expect you to plan everything around him? My brother is a very picky eater but he never makes it anyone elses problem. He will accompany people to restaurants where he can't eat anything, and just get his own food at a supermarket later. It's not that hard to find a few basic food items, even in a different country.
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  • 25
    No_Glove_1575 Food is a huge part of experiencing a culture and a region. For many of us it still s ks to travel with someone you can't mutually enjoy the experience with.
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  • 26
    MadCatter32 Info: Why do you keep saying you will have to make all of the restaurant decisions and find food for him to eat? As a picky eater, that should be his job to manage for himself. As for the complaining, have you considered talking to him?
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  • 27
    I have ARFID, and believe me, it's hard. Support and sympathy go a long way. However, I also know that I can't be complaining at every restaurant and anywhere there is food. I do what I can, eat what I can. I take responsibility. I'd be hurt if people left me out because of my eating habits, especially someone who claims to love me.
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  • 28
    Talk to him about the complaining. Tell him he needs to be responsible for finding food he can eat. But also, don't be judgemental about his eating habits. Be supportive. If you're not willing to do any of this, then you shouldn't be in a relationship with him.
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  • 29
    charlolou I also have ARFID and I agee with you 100%. My food is my responsibility, no one else should have to take care of that. When I'm at a restaurant and they don't have anything I can eat, I'll just try to force the food down & not throw up. I'm not
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  • 30
    saying OP's boyfriend has to do the same thing (we don't even know if he has ARFID), but he shouldn't be complaining. It's no one's fault if he can't eat anything so he shouldn't ruin everyone's day by complaining the whole time
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    shanniquaaaa This needs to be higher!! Being the picky eater is not fun either.
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  • 32
    Sudden-Draft-887 NAH. His preferences are very limiting and you are not his parent. These aren't allergies or digestion-altering sensitivities, it's a restrictive diet based on food he knows he enjoys and it sounds like he's not interested in trying new things.
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  • 33
    But you may want to consider the future of the relationship unless he can manage his diet without whining. It's likely not just during the vacation that it will annoy you. Enjoy your holiday though, it sounds amazing
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boyfriend break up AITAH relationships girlfriend couples love family picky breakup trip red flag picky eater dating entitled people vacation
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